


Anomaly

by Enina



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anger, Anilingus, Barry has trust issues, Difficult Relationship, Eobard has anger issues, Fingerfucking, Hurt/Comfort, Kink, Love is complicated, M/M, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, The two of them are about the only ones, Violence, Yoga, erotic yoga poses, is a disaster in progress, lots of kink, starting with chapter five, very light Dom/sub, who don't think that this relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-05 10:52:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 48,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4177116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enina/pseuds/Enina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What they have, it is an anomaly, something that should not have happened.  </p><p>Eobard told him so, threw this little fact into his face after the first time they had sex, and  Barry didn't doubt the truth of it for a second.  </p><p>He still doesn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [palpablenotion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/palpablenotion/gifts).



> This has been edited by my lovely beta palpablenotion to whom I also want to gift this piece because she likes these two boys together and angsty stuff. ;)

* * *

Barry doesn’t know what has woken him.

The room around him is still dark and quiet other than for the faint patter of rain against his window, and Eobard’s very soft snoring next to him.

It seems that it is going to be one of those nights again…

Barry covers his mouth with a hand as he yawns before he glances over to the sleeping man next to him, and wonders whether it would make any sense for him to stick around in bed or not.

Nights like this one are the worst, really. Being bone-tired but still unable to go back to sleep is the worst feeling.

… but it isn’t like this has started to become a regularly thing by now or anything – except, it has _,_ and Barry really _hates_ it.  

A small part of him urges him to go for a little late-night jog through the city again so that he would exhaust himself. He knows himself, though, and how he tends to be a bit too careless when he is this exhausted. It is paradox how it seems easier to him to connect to the speed force when he isn't trying to, especially when he feels tired and just wants to think of nothing but feel the cool wind against his skin and watch the city pass by out of the corner of his eyes. It has happened a number of times that he got too quick by accident and caused a sonic boom that in turn caused the alarms of any cars to go off he run by, similar to how they tend to act up so often during fights.

… or when Eobard just feels like a show-off again.

This way he wouldn't be the only one awake this late at night, though, and while it is a mean little thought, he can't but help and envy the other good people of Central who are currently sleeping and would not be force to get another day on nothing more than maybe three hours of sleep.

Well, he definitely is in a cranky mood again without having even gotten up yet.

While both his work as forensic scientist and as the Flash usually succeeds in leaving him exhausted, this never really helps during nights like this, when his mind is just too wired up and refuses to wind down enough for him to go back to sleep.

Barry sighs softly before another yawn follows. He tiredly rubs his eyes, uncertain of what to do now. He really doesn’t feel like getting up, though. Despite his initial urge to move, to run, the notion of sitting up alone seems ridiculously exhausting all of a sudden, but even so he knows from experience that he only would get a stiff neck and an aching back if he kept lying in bed for the rest of the night and tried to fall asleep again.

A quick glance at his phone tells him that it’s not even half past two yet, and this alone causes him to bite down on a frustrated huff as he doesn’t want to wake Eobard who is still sleeping next to him.

 _Great_ …

He would end up all cranky again and feel like awful for it at the end of the day. Caitlin is still a bit mad at him for snapping at her about a week ago, and he really doesn’t want to stay on her bad side any longer than he has to. Joe will probably also go on giving him his infamous silent-treatment for how he got rather in his face yesterday at the PD about something unimportant enough that he can’t even remember it anymore.

Barry yawns once more, shooing the uncomfortable thoughts away, and looks over to Eobard, who is sleeping at his side so that he is facing him. He studies the other man for a bit, noticing how unusually relaxed he appears, his guard completely down, which hardly ever happens when he is awake.

Even now, after about one and a half years, he doesn’t feel really at ease with it. With how Eobard can trust him this much.

After all, a part of him still holds some of the resentment he felt back then. The raw betrayal…

 _He looks calm_ , Barry thinks and despite the still lingering anger – the anger he would probably _never_ really completely get rid of – another emotion starts to join it as well, a warmer and more content one.

What there is between them, what they have, it is an anomaly. Something that should not have happened but did.

Eobard told him so, threw this little fact into his face after the first time they had sex – it had been nothing but sex back then. An act full of frustration and anger – and Barry had not doubted the truth of it for a second.

He still doesn’t.

After all this time, the hurt and rage has started to ebb away – not vanish, though, it probably never would – and give way to something else they both kept to themselves for a nearly a year. Partly because neither of them really wanted and still wants to give this emotion a name, partly because Barry knew how Joe and the others would react to it. Also, Eobard liked how the hostility between him and the rest of the team had turned down to a level that allowed them to actually work together again.

Barry turns his gaze to the ceiling above him and listens to the sound of the ongoing rain outside, which is comfortably soothing but still doesn’t do much about helping his mind to slow down which is currently reminiscing of what has happened since Dr. Harrison Wells actually became Eobard Thawne.

It wasn’t just that the both of them didn’t want to stir anymore trouble up. For the longest time, neither of them has really known how to deal with their unexpected and quiet unwelcoming feelings towards each other themselves.

Especially Eobard and, _oh boy_ , hasn’t that made the whole thing just so much worse? If this man is really good at something then it is being deliberately cruel.

Even back then, Barry has pretty much understood that Eobard mostly was behaving so horrible towards him because he was angry about having to stay in this timeline – being stuck in a place that isn’t his home. After all the effort he put into getting back again, it blew up in his face, and the frustration and desperation this caused stayed with him for a very long time. It probably still does today.

There is also the fact that Eobard didn’t like the fact that he developed romantic feelings towards Barry in the first place. They are enemies, or they were supposed to be enemies, at least.

At times, Barry still isn’t sure whether he could really trust this odd sort of relationship they are in. There is closeness, _desire_ , and something Barry would call love if he felt it for about anybody else. Despite that, there is also this persisting animosity between them, though.

It doesn’t help that Eobard is who he is and leaves Barry exasperated and frustrated more often than not, but-

“You’re _thinking_ too loud.” Barry turns to the man next to him, who is watching him through halflidded eyes and with a slightly annoyed expression on his face.

So much for not waking him it seems.

And thinking too loud?

“You’re a telepath now?” he snorts and reaches for Eobard’s hand that is resting next to him on the blanket. It is out of impulse, Barry has always been a touchy person, someone who loves contact and doesn’t mind to give hugs or receive them. Eobard doesn’t think that this is one of his more charming traits, he doesn’t like this open display of affection very much.

Right now, in the privacy of Barry’s bedroom, the other speedster doesn’t pull away or give him a warning glare. Instead he lets him takes his hand, and it is odd how reassuring such a little touch can be. Barry rolls onto his side as well, so that they are facing each other.

“You can’t sleep again?” Eobard asks, a light rumble to his voice due to having just awoken.

Barry hums in agreement but doesn’t elaborate. Eobard knows about his sleeping troubles these days as they share a bed most nights, and it is sort of impossible for him not to notice it.

“You are such a pain," the older speedster grumbles before he sits up and pulls his hand out of Barry’s loose grip. “Turn around.”

“You don’t have to,” Barry tells him but readily rolls onto his stomach despite his words. There is no way he is not going to take the other man up on his offer.

Barry had a couple of massages in his life before becoming the Flash, and they were nice enough as far as he could tell, but not a single one has come even close to what it feels like when Eobard kneads his muscles. It is always so incredibly relaxing, it feel just plain good, and is really a bite that the other man hardly ever offers them to him.

It is a bit odd, now that he thinks about it.

They both have had a rather big fight just the other day, and this is the first night they are actually sharing a bed again. Eobard usually keeps his cold demeanour towards him at least another week or so before he starts to get somewhat tolerable towards physical contact with him again.

Eobard is many things but certainly not outgoing when it comes to his display of affection. He doesn’t exactly hide the fact that they are together around the others anymore, but Barry still thinks that he mostly just touches him to piss Joe and Eddie off – or Oliver on the couple of times they've seen each other over the last year.

“You’re tensed up again," the older speedster murmurs, and Barry groans softly when he digs his fingers firmly into the stiff muscles of his shoulders. Nearly painfully so for a long moment before the tension starts to give way to a much more pleasant feeling.

“God,” Barry utters half into his pillow and feels the corner of his lips quirk up when he listens to Eobard’s chuckle.

“I take it you like this?” There is a sultry quality to his deep voice, and Barry glances over his shoulder to meet his eyes. “Isn't it obvious?”

Eobard's smirk is his only reply, and Barry rests his cheek back onto the pillow before closing his eyes.

The movements of the hands on his back are slow, firm and deliberate, knowing all too well where the tense spots are that bother Barry the most. It feels so incredibly nice.

For the next couple of minutes, they don’t talk as Eobard massages him, and Barry enjoys it.

Slowly but surely his body starts to relax, and the tension starts to ebb away, leaving behind a pleasant warmth and looseness.

Barry is just about to nod off when the other speedster chooses to speak again. “You do realize that I wouldn’t kill you in your sleep.”

Barry’s eyes fly open at once, and he glances over his shoulders at the other man with a frown. “What?”

Eobard's hands still, and he meets his gaze calmly.

“I told you that I would the other day,” he reminds him and smirks humorlessly when Barry’s frown deepens.

“You have to bring this up now?” Barry asks and rolls onto his back, no longer really in the mood for a massage or any physical contact between them.

“You worry yourself sick over these things. It results in you being unable to sleep which, in turn, results in me being unable to sleep,” Eobard points out drily and sits back. “So, yes, I do have to bring it up now.”

Barry fights the urge to pull a pillow over his face and groan. Instead he covers his eyes with one hand and sighs softly. “Eobard, this isn't about that...”

“No,” the other speedster agrees, and Barry already knows he is not going to like where this conversation is heading. “It's about you being unable to let go of your fear of me.”

A sudden anger flashes through Barry, it catches him off-guard, and he lowers his hand to glare at his partner.

“I'm not afraid of you,” he huffs and sits up because he really doesn’t feel comfortable in his current position anymore, especially with this topic of choice. “You behaving like an ass isn't exactly something new, and I won't lose any sleep over it.”

Barry rubs his eyes and looks away from the other man, towards the slightly ajar door, feeling annoyed and tensed up all over again.

 _Great_.

“You know,” Eobard starts and there is a slight mocking quality to his voice, the one Barry _really_ hates, “You always say it doesn’t bother you anymore but we both know it isn’t true, is it?”

“Don’t.” Barry actually hisses at him because he is not going to talk about this. Things between them could never work if they don’t let things rest, they both know it.

Why would he bring it up all of a sudden?

“I'm the bad guy, so why not?” the older speedster reminds him easily. “We both know who I am. Who I'll _always_ be, no matter what you little idiot may try to make yourself believe.”

They are not having this conversation right now, not this late, not with how tired he already is...

Barry rubs his hands over his face in a mixture or weariness and frustration. If he had known that this could happen, he would have left the bed the moment he woke up.

With a soft sigh he turns back to Eobard.

“I’m sorry if I’ve upset you,” he says and means it because something has ruffled the other man’s feathers, and he is pretty sure that it was him. Eobard usually only gets like this when something is really bothering him.

For a split-second, Eobard looks like he is going to get violent again. Barry kind of expects him to, to be honest, but is still a bit relieved when the uneasy tension between passes again. He hates getting into a physical fight with Eobard these days.

It just feels… _wrong_.

“You think about it all the time, don’t you?” The other speedster sneers, and Barry knows what he is really asking. It is a loaded question, a very painful one.

“Why do you have to bring this up all of a sudden?” he asks tiredly and watches how Eobard’s scowl gets only darker for a brief moment before his expression relaxes somewhat again.

“You're tendency to answer my questions with questions of your own really start to get on my nerves,” the other speedster remarks grimly which causes Barry to snort and raise his eyebrows. “Because you're so very forthcoming all the time?”

Eobard’s eyes stay cold and focused, and Barry sighs warily as he rubs his forehead while considering him.

“I try not to,” he finally answers with a half-shrug.

“Your father will find out about it eventually.”

Barry feels his inside grow cold and gives the other man an annoyed glare because why would he have to touch upon _that_ of all things?

“He won’t-”

“Don’t be an idiot!” Eobard’s eyes flare up in this bright red that causes Barry to get goose bumps. “It's only a question of time before your dear Detective West or one of the others will let it slip around him. You know that they don’t like this little charade of ours.”

“What the hell is up with you tonight?” Barry feels himself grow agitated, via his connection to the speed force he gets a faint impression of the fury the other man is feeling right now. It is unsettling and frustrating, and he has no idea what brought this on. “Nobody's going to tell him, they know what this would mean–”

“What it would mean is that he learns that you and your mother’s murderer tend to fuck on a regular basis these days.”

His fists connects with Eobard’s chin before Barry even really realizes what is happening. A sharp pain flares up in his knuckles, then he is suddenly the one punched with enough force that he is thrown off the bed. Eobard is upon him not even a heartbeat later and holding him down with a firm grip around his throat.

“You do just that, you know?” The other speedster sneers, his eyes suddenly this horrible bright red once more. “You fuck the man who stab–”

The anger that rips through Barry is nearly painful in its intensity, and he brings his hand up, vibrating it like Eobard showed him all those months ago, towards the other man’s chest where his heart is.

Eobard is off him and out of reach before he can do any damage, though.

Barry gets up too, much slower.

He doesn’t expect Eobard to attack him again, somehow he knows that the other man isn’t really out for a fight either, otherwise they both would probably be still at the ground and much more pain, blood and broken bones would be involved.

A tense silence follows, and Barry can’t bring himself to look at him.

“I'll always be the one who did this.” Eobard sounds no longer angry but oddly hollow and just as tired as he feels. “I was destined to do this to you, Barry.”

The air around them seems much colder than Barry has realized before. He shudders slightly and tells himself that it is due to the low temperatures and not because Eobard has walked up close to him, so close than he can feel his presence next to him.

“This will never go away nor can it be made undone.” The other speedster goes on, and Barry closes his eyes when he feels Eobard move behind him before two big and warm hands are placed on his hips. “I'll always be the bogeyman in your dreams, the man in yellow you feared and loathed for so long.”

Eobard falls silent after this, and for a while only the tapping sound of the rain against Barry’s window fills the heavy silence between them.

Barry shudders when lips brush his bare shoulder, and he feels hurt and anger flare up, but he is also so very tired. He turns his head away and clenches his eyes shut when Eobard kisses his cheek.

“You father will learn of this, and you'll be hurt again.” The other man’s voice is low, and his breath is hot against Barry's ear. “He'll never forgive me, and he won't understand why you're doing this to yourself. Like none of your little friends understands.”

Again, a soft brush of lips just below his earlobe, and Barry shudders. His hands are clenched into fists and the urge to hit Eobard, to really hurt him, is nearly too much right now.

“They are disgusted by this,” Eobard goes on and his hands give Barry’s hips a slight squeeze. “And your father will be too.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Barry’s voice is slightly coarse and trembling, and he ignores the feeling of hot tears running down his cheeks. “You want to stop this… anomaly?”

A brief pause follows, and Eobard’s face is so close to the crook of his neck that he can still feel his breath on his skin.

“No.” He finally answers, and Barry shudders once more when he kisses his shoulder again in this tentative way that is nothing like the other man. “ _You_ should want to stop this, Barry. We both know how wrong this is, how _sick_.”

The hands on Barry’s hip starts to slowly caress his sides, again with such an unfamiliar tenderness that it is a bit unsettling.

“You should want to end this,” Eobards repeats before he presses his nose into his hair, breathing his scent in deeply before exhaling slowly against his cheek. “I'll never let you go, though.”

Barry closes his eyes and lets himself be pulled back, so that he rests against the other man’s shoulder.

“I'm a _very_ selfish person, Barry. Ms. West called me a compulsive obsessive sociopath, if I remember correctly, and she has likely never made a more accurate observation before.” Eobard’s arms settle around his middle, in a firm and secure embrace. “I can’t let you go. I don’t want to.”

The other man makes a low hushing noise when Barry’s shoulders start to shake and presses another tender kiss onto his temple.

“I know that it isn’t fair, to neither of us. I don’t… I didn’t want this anymore than you, but I’ve realized by now that you are the only person I’ve ever desired. The only person I've ever wanted, and my hate for you, the other you, was nothing but my misguided interpretation of my own emotions.” Eobard chuckles, and it sounds mirthless and hollow. “I can’t let you go, Barry.”

Barry’s breath hitches, it is close to a sob, but he doesn’t want to let himself go there. He just can’t.

“That doesn’t mean I want to hurt you,” Eobard’s lips move against his skin as he speaks, and it is both a delicious and horrible feeling at the same time. “I wanted you to be in agony, Barry. I wanted it so badly, it _hurt_.”

“Stop-” Barry grabs the other speedster’s wrists and tries to push his arms off, but the grip around his middle only tightens in response.

“I don’t anymore.” Eobard sounds calm but there is an underlying urgency to it, like it is really important to him that Barry understands what he is saying. “I don’t want anybody to cause you pain. Not me, not your friends, not your father-“

“Eobard-”

There is an alarmed quality to Barry’s voice but before his mind really has time to picture his conclusion of what these words have to mean, the other man cuts him off – tightening his arms nearly painfully around him for a second as he does so.

“I won’t hurt him, you stupid little imbecile.” The older speedster hisses, nearly warningly so, before his tone softens again. “I won’t hurt any of your little friends, we’ve agreed upon this.”

“Because you are so good at keeping your word?” Barry asks angrily but still lets himself lean back against the frim chest behind him.

Tonight has turned out to be just… maybe not horrible but rather close to it, and Barry feels exhausted by it, emotionally and physically.

“I’m not a good person,” Eobard’s voice is low and deep, and Barry closes his eyes and just listens to it. “I won’t allow you to leave me for anybody else.”

It is stated like a fact, not a threat or a promise, and there is something extremely unsettling about it.

“I'll get stronger,” Barry points out and turns his head to glance at Eobard, who has now started to caress his stomach with his hands.

“I know,” Eobard agrees and holds his gaze without any sign of having been angered by the unspoken threat. Barry isn’t sure how to take it.

“I want… I want you to get along with them,” he says quietly after a moment and moves his own hands to the other speedster’s wrists once more, this time to grip them loosely. “Please, Eobard.”

“Barry, they'll never-”

“You can’t know that,” Barry disagrees hotly, “you don’t know _this_ future! You just have to behave a little bit less like such a prick all the time.”

“Prick?” Eobard aches an eyebrow and actually seems amused.

The tension that has settled over them starts to slowly dissipate again, and Barry is grateful for it because he had had enough emotional tumult for tonight.

“Please, Eo,” he says quietly which causes the other man to frown. “Eo?”

Barry flushes but doesn’t avert his eyes.

“You call me Barry,” he points out with a shrug before he adds more firmly, “Please, try to make them like you, at least.”

“I couldn’t care less whether they like me or not.”

“You're so full of it,” Barry huffs annoyed. “You _do_ like Cisco and Caitlin.”

“I really don’t-“

“You do!”

Eobard actually chuckles then and catches Barry a bit off-guard as he had counted on another argument to start over this.

“Maybe I do.” The other man grants with a crooked smirk. “They are certainly not the stupidest example of current humanity.”

Then, a more sombre expression comes over his face again, and Barry feels his stomach sink a bit.

“I _am_ a cruel man, Barry. I don’t care for others like you or most other people do.”

“But you care about me,” Barry points out quietly and his stomach makes a flip when he realizes that this may not have been the best choice of words as there flashes something through Eobard eyes – something sharp and dangerous – and suddenly they are back on the bed, the other man on him, straddling his thighs and holding his hands above his head in a firm grip.

“You are not going to be my weakness,” the Reverse Flash hisses, eyes crimson red, and Barry is so caught off-guard that he can just stare at him in a mixture of fear and confusion. Then, his own anger overtakes, and he starts to struggle against the other man.

“What the hell, Eobard!?” Barry glares up at him when the other man doesn’t let go. “Let go of me!”

The older speedster looks furious, his eyes are blazing and his teeth are bared at him like he is a dog about to bite.

“You'll not turn this into a weakness for me,” Eobard repeats firmly and his grip tightens around his writs – which have started to vibrate to get him to let go but without avail so far – and Barry is certain the bones in them are about to snap. “Do you understand?!”

There is so much anger at the other speedster’s expression, pure burning anger and something… else.

It is the kind of unsettling hunger that sometimes creeps over the other man’s face when they are having sex, especially when it is after one of their more physical fights. It is just much more intense and unsettling now.

Barry’s eyes widen, and he is no longer just annoyed and upset but honestly scared.

“Get off me! Get off me, Eobard! You’re _hurting_ me!”

The grip around his wrists loosen a bit, and Barry uses the opportunity to get his hands free before he pushes Eobard hard against his chest, furious that the other man would do this to him… again.

“Fuck you,” he spats before pushing him once more, so that he finally gets off him. Tight now he just wants to get away from this bastard.

Eobard lets him get up but cuts his off at the door before Barry can actually leave.

“Wait-“

“Get out of my way!”

“Just wait for-”

“No!” Barry feels livid and upset and so damn hurt. “You don’t _do_ _that_ to me!”

Eobard pushes him back when he tries to pass him and scowls at him.

“I didn’t-“

“You were about to!”

“I was not!”

“Fuck you!” Barry’s voice grows loud enough that there is no way his neighbours aren‘t going to hear this. While he usually tries to stay on their good side, he couldn’t care less right now.

“You ever do that to me and… and I will _kill_ you!”

It is probably an empty threat. At least, Barry thinks so, because he couldn’t see himself end anybody’s life. Though, that… he can’t even imagine what this would do to him. He isn’t stupid, he knows that he doesn’t stand above others, no matter how much he wants to make this world a better place. He is just human, after all, and all humans can snap under certain circumstances.

“I'm not going to rape you, you damn moron!”

“Because of your many scruples!?” Barry nearly sneers. He tries to calm down a bit because his damn body is now vibrating, making it even harder not to move.

The tense silence that follows is not what he has expected and neither is the grim but firm gaze with which Eobard is now studying him. Barry grows sick when he realizes that he is not going to protest.

“You’ve-“

“No,” The older speedster cuts him off and makes a step back, now that Barry actually seems inclined to listen to him. “I haven’t.”

“But you think that this could happen?” Barry asks quietly. “To me, that you could do this to me?” Again, Eobard stays quiet and this alone is like a punch in his guts.

“No,” the other man answers finally, calm once again, and he meets his doubtful gaze firmly. “I would never let myself do this to you.”

It is an unsettling answer due to what it implies – that he would actually really consider it – and Barry suddenly feels like crying again.

“I’m not a good person, and I’ve done a lot of horrible things,” Eobard steps closer, and while Barry eyes him warily, he doesn’t move. “But I'll never do this to you.”

Slowly, as if to give him time to retreat should he want to, Eobard reaches for his hand and takes it in a loose hold.

“I meant what I’ve said before,” he goes on as Barry glances down to their joined hands which causes an uneasy heaviness settling in his stomach. “I won’t let you leave.”

A shudder runs through Barry’s body, and he feels sick. He shudders again when Eobard steps closer, so much so that he can actually feel him, and closes his eyes.

“But I'll also try to not make you want to leave.” Eobard kisses his cheek, then his temple. and then the side of his mouth while he sneaks an arm around his back. “I didn’t mean to get angry.”

“But you _did_ ,” Barry says quietly and reaches up to brush the tears from his eyes before they could actually fall. He pushes Eobard’s hand away, when he tries to touch his face then and gives him an angry glare instead. “Because I'm a _fucking weakness_ to you.”

It hurts, being considered as such, even though it really should not come as a surprise that the other man would see him this way. Having any emotional ties to anybody is probably a liability to him.

“You are,” Eobard agrees and meets his glare rather coldly. “And I don’t like it.”

Barry bristles at that but the other man’s hand starts to caress his back calmingly despite his words and tone.

“I'll just have to learn to deal with it,” Eobard goes on and smiles grimly. “And so will you.”

The implications of these words aren’t exactly reassuring, but he is trying and Barry gets it.

“And you'll also have to learn to deal with my friends and family,” Barry adds seriously as he meets his eyes with a still slightly hurt but firm expression. “They are important to me.”

“They already think you are crazy for being with me.”

“Then give them a reason to change their mind.”

Eobard smirks and studies him with an amused but also slightly exasperated look, and Barry feels himself relax a bit.

“You put too much faith into me, Barry.”

“We are who we make of ourselves, Eobard.”

Barry has always believed that, and he always will.

“You're an idiot,” Eobard tells him seriously. “You’ve always been.”

“Maybe,” he agrees quietly and lifts his arms to lay them around the other man’s back. “But I think some of us have to be.”

This causes Eobard to smirk slightly before he leans in for a real kiss this time.

Barry meets him half-ways, a bit nervous and uncertain, but mostly glad that they have been able to work this out… a bit, at least.

Their relationship may be an anomaly, something that isn't supposed to be, but Barry thinks that this doesn't have to be a bad thing. He hopes so at least, and, most importantly, he isn’t alone in this.

Though it is probably debatable how much of a help the other man will really be.

Eobard smiles against the corner of his lips when they break apart, both of them slightly out of breath.

“You are _still_ thinking too loud.”

Barry chuckles quietly, feeling exhausted but a bit more calm again, and presses a kiss onto Eobard's cheek.


	2. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is faced with the consequences of staying in a relationship with Eobard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not yet edited.

* * *

Barry hums along a song on the radio as he prepares himself some scrambled eggs for dinner. After a long day at work and another confrontation with this new nutball of theirs this late afternoon, he is simply too tired for anything more extravagant.

“A _magician_?” Cisco had sounded way too excited when Eobard told them about the man who called himself Abra Kadabra after Barry’s first confrontation with him that resulted in a broken skull on his part.

It didn’t surprise him at all, that his younger friend was over the moon by the prospect of having someone like that to fight. Especially with a name like this, though Barry is still pretty sure that Cisco is a bit annoyed that he wasn’t the one coming up with _Abra Kadabra_.

Next to Captain Cold, the Top, Dr Alchemist and Rainbow Raider – and who would have thought that Bivolo would actually go with _that_ name – the new fellow just fits right in with the rest of their rogues.

“And he is from the future?” Cisco was definitely way too hyped about the origin of the newest addition to the Flash’s villains for it to be appropriate. Still, it was nearly endearing and Barry couldn’t really hold it against him. His friend was usually in the pretty subdued mood these days with Eobard around and having him behave like his former self for once had been a nice change.

Not to mention that Barry secretly agreed, a magician from the future is pretty _cool_.

Though, having to deal with another time traveller on the other hand is not so much.

They don’t exactly need someone like that next to all the rest of crazy and super-powered jackasses they already have to deal with, especially now that Barry has become pretty certain that this _Mirror Master_ fellow isn’t exactly from around this time either.

“He is a serious threat,” replied Eobard drily and so much for having Cisco relax around him – the younger man’s face fell quicker than a house of cards. “A psychopath who can use future technology that is so far advanced that it appears like magic in this time is nothing to make light of.”

“Well, he’s not the _first_ psychopath from the future we have to deal with,” muttered Eddie under his breath and clearly aimed for it to be loud enough that about everybody present could pick up on it.

Barry was glad that Eobard just ignored the jab from his ancestor and he didn’t have to hold the other speedster back from trying to hurt the other man again.

The amount of bad blood between those two is just _ridiculous_ … or not, considering that Eobard did hand out just as well as he received and Eddie actually has a reason to dislike him.

“So, how do we deal with the crazy wizard from the future?” interjected Caitlin, bringing everybody’s mind back on the actual topic, and Barry could have kissed her for it and stopping the growing animosity to getting out of hand. She returned his grateful gaze only with a thin smile, though. Like Cisco, she isn’t really that happy with how things work these days – or with Barry’s _attempt_ to make them work–

A sharp buzzing sound interrupts Barry’s thoughts, which doesn’t really bother him as he tries not to let his mind wander too much these days. He moves the pan with the finished scrambled eggs from the hot plate and turns the stove off before he makes his way over to the entrance of his apartment.

The puzzlement over whom could pass by at this time, as it is already past nine in the evening, is quickly replaced by a familiar dread when he looks through the door spy and spots Joe.

For a brief moment he debates about not answering and pretending to be not at home but it would be a really mean and childish thing to do and he is pretty sure that his foster dad knows that he is here anyway.

Thus, with a soft sigh, he opens the door and tries to convince himself that this could also mean good news for once.

Not very likely, considering everything, but after how rough today has been – fighting a megalomaniac not-wizard from the future can pretty much ruin your entire day – he really hopes that he will get a break.

“Hey,” Barry greets Joe with a friendly smile and hopes that it doesn’t look too forced – after their last fight a week ago, he has assumed it would probably take at least another couple of days before Joe would calm down enough to talk to him, let alone seek him out again if it wasn’t for business…

Wait a –

“Everything alright?” he asks a bit worried, now that he considers the option that the reason for his foster father to have turned up here at this time.

Please, let it not be Eobard making a complete _ass_ out of himself again! That man and his damn tendency to mess with people he deems below himself just for fun is going to get Barry in an _early grave_.

“Yes, everything is fine,” chuckles Joe but there is a tightness around his eyes that make it all too obvious that things between them are not all well again just yet – not that they ever really are nowadays. “I just wanted to pass by and see how you are doing. You had quite a scuffle with that wizard guy today.”

The urge to correct him that Abra is not a wizard but a magician – a fact the criminal actually got very _pissed_ over when Barry made the mistake to call him that – quickly dies down again when he realizes how stupid it would sound. Instead, he agrees that it has been a rougher afternoon than he would have hoped for.

“At least it wasn’t him _and_ the Rogues, though,” Barry remarks in an attempt to lighten the mood and his foster father is nice enough to give him a small smile, even though he doesn’t looked anything close to amused.

“Come in.” Barry steps aside and lets Joe in before he closes the door again. He would rather have not invited him in but this would have been mean again and rude and even though any of their meetings usually end rather badly for him since he learned about Eobard, he knows that the older man just means well.

“You want a beer?”

“Sure.”

Barry nods and tells him to take a seat at the couch before he vanishes into to the kitchen much quicker than is necessary – this kind of nervous energy he experiences most of the time these days makes it hard for him to stay _slow_ enough to pass as just another normal guy.

At least he is not accidently dipping into the speed force again – he hates when this happens, which has become a rather regularly occurrence, much to his grief and worry. It would be really bad if this happens while he is under other people and he doubts that he could come up with something that could explain to his co-workers how he is suddenly able to move through the lab quicker than their eyes allow them to see.

This is a new kind of problem, one he never had to worry about before, not even when he’d been newly connected to the speed force. Caitlin thinks it is due to stress, something psychosomatic, and while this would explain a lot and make sense, Barry tries not to think too much of it.

It doesn’t exactly help either, that Eobard is just proving what a kind of _jackass_ he is when it comes to this. He finds his spurts of lacking control over his powers just _hilarious_ and hardly tries to help him with it despite his experience and much better understanding of their powers.

Barry returns to the living room with two cool beers in one hand and a plate with his scrambled eggs and two slices of bread in his other just a moment after leaving that living room.

“Here,” he hands Joe the drink who accepts it with a nod before Barry takes a seat on the cushioned chair next to the couch.

The uneasy silence that follows isn’t really unexpected and Barry thinks somewhat morosely that _uneasy_ is a very _fitting_ word to describe most parts of his life that involves any of his family and friends these days.

To his surprise, it is Joe who breaks it before too long.

“Iris was quite disappointed you couldn’t make it to the BBQ on Sunday,” he remarks and Barry doesn’t have to listen for the disapproval to pick up on it.

Well, Barry thinks sourly, he was the one who kid himself into thinking this could go _anywhere else_ …

“I was busy,” he replies reluctantly and turns his gaze down to his plate with his dinner that somehow doesn’t appear all that appetizing anymore.

“You were?”

The audible incredulity in Joe’s voice actually causes Barry to shoot him a dark frown.

“Don’t give me that look,” scolds the older man. “We both know that you are lying, Barry.”

Despite it being the truth, Barry can’t help but bristle at these words.

“And you know _why_ I didn’t turn up this Sunday, so stop making a farce out of this, Joe.”

He immediately feels bad for using this tone with his foster father and gives him an apologetic look that is only returned with a stern but concerned expression.

“Because of the Reverse Flash,” states Joe quietly and there is a grimness to the way he watches him now that makes Barry uncomfortable.

Still, he can’t help but feel annoyed because Joe has to know why he decided not to turn up. Not that he would understand or that it really would matter to the other man, though, seeing that he agrees with Iris – and the others – on this.

“She asked me not to bring him along!”

It still hurts and while Barry has expected something like this, he didn’t so from Iris of all people…

“Which must have been such a big surprise for you,” argues Joe angrily. “Did you really think she wants that man around when your father is there? You may be comfortable lying to him about the murderer of his wife, _your mother_ , but she is _not_.”

“That’s not-”

“Of course it’s true!” His foster father gets up, looking livid and Barry just notices now that he hasn’t opened his beer yet, which he is instead holding in such a tight grip that his knuckles have turned white. It is a disconcerting realisation that Joe could get this angry with him.

“Your father is finally out of prison but you avoid him like the rest of us!” accuses the other man and it is obvious what he thinks of this, which in turn makes Barry angry because he does _no_ such thing.

“I don’t avoid you!”

“When was the last time you’ve been over? Two months ago? _Three_? Don’t take me for stupid, Barry, I know exactly what is going on here.” The way Joe looks at him then makes Barry shiver – it is so full of _reproach_. “I know that you are very aware of how _wrong_ this is.”

Barry is not going to have this conversation again. Not tonight, not when he is still hurting all over from his damn fight with that crazy wizard!

“Joe, _please_ , let’s not-”

“Eobard Thwane is the reason why your mother is _dead_ , Barry. He is the reason why your father was put into prison as an innocent man and stayed there for over a _decade_. He took her from both of you and this hasn’t even been his initial plan!”

Barry feels sick and a part of him wants to protest but he knows that it would be for naught.

After all, it isn’t like Joe is lying or even just misunderstanding things.

“That twisted man came back to _kill you_ while you were still a small helpless _kid_ ,” Joe no longer looks angry but disappointed as he goes on in a softer tone and this is so much _worse_. “The man you think you are in love with is a _monster_ , Barry. I don’t understand how you are not seeing this, after everything he did to you and the rest of us.”

They watch each other in silence for a tensed moment before Joe goes on. “Maybe it’s a good idea if we keep things at how they are right now.”

It takes Barry a moment to realize what the other man means and when he does, he feels like crying.

“Joe, I’m sorry, I know this is difficult-”

“Barry,” Joe cuts him off with a sharp and hard look in his usually warm eyes. “I cannot stop you from being with that man, you are an adult, and you’re allowed to make your own choices and mistakes. That doesn’t mean that I have to stand by and let you _hurt_ the people I love and hold dear.”

 _Am I not one of these people anymore?_ Barry wants to ask but he is too afraid of what the answer would be so that he stays quiet instead, feeling numb and just plain awful because this… this should not be happening.

“You’ve ever considered what it means for your father that he is now finally free and his son is avoiding him like the damn plague?”

“I don’t do that!” Barry protests and can’t help but feel upset because he really hasn’t, he has just been busy and…

… damn, he can’t even lie to _himself_.

“I didn’t raise you to become this kind of person,” Joe goes on, ignoring his protest, “And neither did your father.”

Barry feels sick – really, really sick – like he would throw up any moment now.

“Barry,” his foster father goes on and he sounds less harsh again but very sad. “I know that you are a good man but you are _hurting_ the people who are your family for a man who is _not_ and I don’t know how to make you understand how bad this relationship is for you.”

Joe pauses briefly and seems to hesitate for a second before his expression hardens again and goes on more firmly. “What I _do_ know is that I don’t want to watch any longer how you are heading toward something that is deemed to end badly nor how the rest of us is being dragged along because of your ill-made choices.”

“Joe…”

“You can come to me if you need help, Barry.” His foster father appears so much older all of a sudden, tired and sad, and it really hurts Barry to see him like this – to know that he is the _cause_ for it. He never meant for any of this to happen, he didn’t want to harm any of them…

“I will not turn you away. You _are_ my child, despite all of this, and I will _always_ love you, but I ask you to respect that I can’t watch you getting yourself hurt or worse and that none of the others deserves to have to do so either.”

No… no, no, _no!_

His head starts to feel light and Barry has to blink because his vision is blurring up. It takes him a moment to realize that it is due to unshed tears.

“If you really want to keep whatever this is between you and _him_ going,” Joe proceeds and it nearly hurts even more when Barry picks up on how close to tears he sounds as well, “you should keep your distance, because it is only a matter of time before this man _will_ snap and I don’t want Iris or anybody have to bear the brunt when it happens because they were close to you.”

Joe leaves afterwards.

Barry isn’t certain whether he says anything else or not.

He just keeps standing there for what feels like an eternity after his entrance door clicked shut again.

His gaze moves around aimlessly for a while, his mind heavy and slow, and he tries to understand how this could have happened.

How he could have messed things up so monumentally.

… how he could have caused Joe to see himself forced to do this.

There is a noise behind him and Barry suddenly picks up at the familiar itch at the back of his mind that indicates that Eobard is close and using the speed force. Thus, he is not surprised when he turns around and sees the other man suddenly appear at the doorway to his kitchen.

His vision is still too blurry to make out his expression, though, and he wonders whether he has been here for long and whether he would rub it into Barry’s face that he has been right from the beginning – that his family, his friends, would _never_ understand their relationship, that they would _never_ accept it.

Maybe he would react angry, though, or even violent as Eobard tends to do that. It is so hard to gauge him most of the time.

And isn’t that saying a lot about Barry that he is together with someone like this? That his family and friends think that he would choose him over them...

Eobard is suddenly next to him and while Barry usually doesn’t like it when he does that, he feels too exhausted to really care right now.

There is this heaviness in him, pulling him down, making it nearly unbearable to just stand and breathe.

This is not what he wanted to happen…

He knew they wouldn’t like it but he has thought they could make it work somehow, all of them.

… he is such an monumental idiot.

Eobard steps closer and Barry shudders lightly when he lays his arms around him in a loose and nearly tentative way, not saying a word as he does so. It is so odd and different to how he usually behaves that Barry isn’t sure whether he should be worried or not.

Despite the nagging voice in the back of his mind to stay alert, he doesn’t struggle when he is pulled into an embrace, though, and instead simply accepts the offered comfort that he needs so badly.

Barry thinks that he would break – shatter like glass on a hard ground – if it weren’t for the other man just then.

“I… I think… I messed up…” he tries to chuckle but instead a sob passes his lips, which catches him off-guard enough that he grows completely still for a moment. When he isn’t pushed away but feels one of the hands on his back to actually start to draw slow and calming circles, something seems to break in him for real. It causes a white-hot pain to flare up in his chest and before he can try to stop himself, he starts to cry.

Eobard doesn’t react in disgust or anger or with his usual annoyance when Barry gets too emotional. He just holds him, a firm and quiet presence that keeps him upright and offers some solace as he weeps over what feels like losing his family all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot bunnies are my death.
> 
> Not sure how regularly I will update on this - I just love those two and their relationship and all the difficulties that come along with it. The next chapter will probably follow soon as it is mostly done by now. It will be Eobard and Barry centric and from Eobard's POV.
> 
> I wasn't sure whether to turn this into a series or a multi-chapter story but I've decided for the later at last.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Yoga Offers Great Stress Relief Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... and back to the angst with those two.
> 
> Not edited, so please excuse any errors.

* * *

“Well, what do we have here?”

Eobard watches how the younger man tenses up at his words and can’t help but appreciate his firm rear that is currently high up in the air, facing him. He chuckles when Barry swiftly changes position, dropping down on his knees before climbing onto his feet – all in super speed – and glaring daggers at him as he back away a bit. His cheeks are burning and it is just too easy with him, really.

Barry doesn’t like it when he turns up like this, in the middle of his apartment without warning, it makes him angry and Eobard counts on that. Having him be furious is much preferable to his otherwise melancholic and depressed manner he usually displays these days.

“Don’t do that, Eobard, I’ve told you a hundred of times that you can’t just appear in here like this!” The brunette glares at him and it is nice, seeing some fire back in those eyes, something else than lethargy and sadness.

“I know,” he smiles and leisurely walks over to Barry, who is is eyeing him with some wariness now. “And you know me, so don’t act as if you really expect me to care.”

Anger returns on the younger speedster’s face as does hurt and while one emotion is appreciate, the other one is not.

… and Eobard _hates_ how he can’t squash the little twinge of guilt in his mind, no matter how hard he tries.

“I don’t,” Barry replies and lifts his chin in this defying manner of his that is quite amusing if somewhat annoying. “I don’t expect _anything_ from you.”

The boy’s mood has been especially instable since the beginning of the week now and while he is obviously still scowling at him, Eobard doesn’t miss the sadness and resignation.

It is not something that suits Barry, it is a really ugly look on him and it is hard not to scowl right back at him for it. For not being stronger and making him feel this damn way.

For making him care.

Eobard knows that it is most likely somehow connected with the meeting Barry had with Iris West on Monday. The other speedster has been very withdrawn afterwards and Eobard has been annoyed to no end that he hadn’t known anything of it – he would have been there, would have watched and learned what is currently causing this, but Barry knows him by now and made sure that he wasn’t aware of it till afterwards.

“Then you are indeed finally learning.” His smile is all teeth and he steps closer to the younger man, who is not moving away but tenses up even more.

Their… relationship hasn’t been on its best the last couple of months and Eobard knows that not only a small part of it is his fault. After Barry had more or less been told by his foster father to stay away from his family, he had been very depressed and withdrawn.

Well, from anybody but him and… this has turned out to be a problem.

Eobard isn’t good at being supportive, he can fake it, amazingly so, but something about Barry trying to lean on him and seeking him out has started to cause him to feel extremely unsettled and on edge. Enough so that he started to lash out at the younger man again the second week after he had this miserable conversation with Joe West.

While being supportive isn’t exactly Eobard’s forte, being hurtful definitely is. He knows Barry better than the boy knows himself and it hasn’t been difficult to get him to back off and keep some more distance again.

Not that Eobard felt satisfied with this either, especially when he realizes that Barry started to not only withdraw from others but him as well.

“You found yourself a new hobby?” he asks and turns to the purple yoga mat at the ground and he isn’t surprised when the younger man’s cheeks are bright red once again when he looks back to him.

“Yes.” It is all Barry seems willing to offer and Eobard can’t help but feel a surge of anger flash through him. This doesn’t go past the other speedster and he watches how he tenses up more and this damn wariness is back.

Not too long ago, Eobard indulged in the fact that Barry is scared of him, even if the boy stubbornly denies it. It still had been like this when they started to fuck and even after both of them realized that this – whatever _this_ between them is – would not go away again. The knowledge of his once so powerful enemy being afraid of him was just too delicious, even though Eobard doesn’t – and never has – hold the same grudge against him he held for his alternative self.

Now, all the pleasure is gone when he watches how Barry is eying him like he is worried he would be attacked any moment and Eobard wonders not for the first time whether he is more afraid of an actual physical one or a verbal one.

It is so damn easy to inflict pain on that stupid boy, now more so than ever.

“So, you are new to this?” he asks after a tense and uncomfortable moment passed between them and he watches how the younger speedster frowns and actually looks slightly confused about his question before he eyes him once again with wary.

Barry nods curtly and nervously starts to shift his weight from one foot to the other. He is so full of energy – raw, hot energy that Eobard could get drunk on whenever they have sex and it reminds him once more that it nearly has been three weeks since this actually was the case for the last time.

“You take a course on it?” he inquires and isn’t surprised when he gets a glare in response. Barry knows that he would most likely be aware of it should this really be the case. The younger man knows that he likes to stalk him – though Eobard prefers to call it observing – and he would have undoubtedly picked up on it by now should he have started to do so sometime over the last couple of weeks.

“No.” Barry takes a step back and gives himself more than an arm’s length space as he walks past him.

“DVDs, then?” asks Eobard amused and enjoys how the younger man bristles when he suddenly appears at his side, so close that his breath hits his left ear. “Books?”

Obviously having enough of it, Barry taps into the speed force himself and moves to the other side of the room, glaring angrily at him – an unspoken warning in his eyes.

It is as amusing as annoying but Eobard heeds it because he knows that starting a fight would not get him where he wants to.

“It’s a secret, then?” There is audible mockery in his voice even though he tries to keep it down.

“It’s none of your business,” hisses Barry and it seems that they both are briefly surprised by the vehemence with which he has spoken.

Another silence follows, even thicker and more uneasy than the one before, and Eobard feels the itch punch that stupid idiot for being so much trouble. The urge has to be plain on his face because an alarmed expression crosses the other man’s face before he forces himself to replace it with another stubborn scowl.

Barry is still young, young and too inexperience to be any kind of real threat to Eobard, and he knows it. This had been quite satisfying for a while, Eobard enjoyed how the younger speedster watched him with a mixture of worry and wariness more often than not, even when he was buried deep in his ass. It used to cause a euphoric feeling of satisfaction to nestle in his chest, watching him how he needed him but feared him at the same time.

It made it easier for Eobard to forget about his own feelings towards the younger man, the desire that could make his cock hard in no time.

Somehow, over the last six months, things have changed, though, and Eobard can’t point out the time of when or the reason that caused it to happen. He tried as he hoped if he found the source for this hated shift of feelings, he could turn it back again.

No such luck, so far…

“Could you please leave?”

The question, or the tone in which it is asked much more so, catches Eobard a bit off-guard.

The anger is gone and Barry only sounds tired and… sad.

God, how he hates that him at times like this.

“Why don’t you show me what you’ve learned so far?” he asks instead and shifts his stances, tries to relax, to appear less threatening.

Barry watches him for a long moment as if he had sprouted a second head and Eobard fights the urge to roll his eyes and call him on his idiocy. Again, the younger speedster seems easily to guess what he is thinking, as his confusion and replaces with a dark frown and he once again lifts his head in this stubborn manner of his.

“Because you would know anything of yoga?” Barry scoffs.

Eobard smiles and shrugs.

“I haven’t practiced for a while but that doesn’t mean that I don’t remember how it’s done anymore. Maybe I can give you some tips.”

“You practiced yoga?”

The disbelief in Barry’s is palpable doesn’t really bother Eobard. What does, is the amusement he sees glinting in his eyes, like this is somehow funny.

“That’s such a surprise?” he asks and knows that the smile he gives him is anything but pleasant.

The humour wanes and a frown reappears on the younger man’s face.

“I think I’ll pass.”

Barry turns slightly away from him, so that he faces the couch that has been moved to the side to makes space for his practice, and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

Not for the first time Eobard notices how much this makes him look vulnerable, like he is actually hugging himself, and he hates the urge of protectiveness that suddenly rises in his chest.

“I won’t disturb you during your practice,” he tries again as he doesn’t intend to leave but he doesn’t want to upset the young man enough so that they end up in a fight again. “I’m just going to watch.”

Barry frowns and it isn’t hard to see that the notion of Eobard watching him makes him feel uneasy. It isn’t really surprising, seeing that he can be ridiculously self-conscious at times.

“What sequence are you doing right now?” Eobard inquires, trying to lift the other speedsters mind off his insecurities.

Barry hesitates to answer and instead he studies him with once again warily, obviously trying to gauge what he is up to with this. Eobard returns his gaze calmly and stays quiet, as he knows from experience that it isn’t a good idea to push the brat when he is in a mood like this.

“No particular one,” the younger speedster finally answers and averts his eyes. “Just something I’ve found on the internet.”

Eobard snorts, not really surprised at all by this answer.

“I know traditional sequences,” Barry points out angrily and despite his scowl, he can’t stop the crimson creep up his neck and over his cheeks. “I just wanted to try something new-“

The young man huffs in frustration and glares at Eobard. “I don’t need to justify myself to you and I don’t want you to _watch_ me.” Barry forces his arms down, so that his clenched fists are next to this thighs. “I want you to leave, _now_.”

“Aren’t we a bit touchy tonight?” smirks Eobard and has to force his own temper to stay down because next to the familiar anger, he also feels arousal stirring up in his guts.

It turns out the wrong thing to say, though.

“Leave!”

Again, something in the younger man seems to snap but contrary to before he looks utterly livid now.

“Leave me the hell alone! You’ve made it clear that I’m just a damn annoyance to you!”

The raw anguish Eobard sees in those green eyes right then catches him off-guard and he nearly makes a step back.

“You wanted to fuck with me,” hisses Barry through clenched teeth and turns to face away. “I’m just something to mess around with to you. It’s my own fault I let you use me, I get it.”

It is extremely unsettling when the young man looks back to him, his eyes shining with supressed tears and frustration.

“But why can’t you just leave me be, now!? Why do you have to do this to me!? You told me yourself _I’m not_ _him_ , why… why do you still hate me so much…”

Barry breaks off and it is so plain to see how desperately he tries to keep it together.

Eobard hasn’t expected this…

Or maybe he has.

While he still isn’t sure how to deal with the feeling he has for the younger man, he doesn’t doubt that they are returned. Barry never hid them after their initial phase of denial.

… and Eobard is also certain that he hurt him when he pushed him away when he tried to rely on him for support. He told and still tells himself that it doesn’t matter, that he doesn’t own Barry anything and that he’s made it more than clear what he person he really is by now.

The problem is that he has never been good at lying to himself. He could fool others with ease but he knows himself just too well.

This Barry has never really been his enemy and while the stupid kid still could annoy him so easily and frustrate him with how… _good_ he always tries to be, Eobard is well aware that the burning hate has vacated his chest. There is no loathe clouding his gaze anymore when he looks at the younger man, no urge to hurt him… well, at least not like before.

Nowadays he lashes out because it is difficult to just look at him for another reason, to be close to him without feeling the urge to touch, to keep him at his side…

Eobard told Barry that he doesn’t want him to be his weakness but the trouble with this is that he is realizing now that he is the one who is making him into one.

Which is unacceptable.

At least, he tries to tell himself so.

“Can you please just leave?”

Barry’s voice causes him to let go of those uncomfortable thoughts and he turns his attention back to him. He looks pale and is hugging himself once again in this damn sad and apprehensive way that annoys Eobard to no end because the Flash should not look like this.

Slowly, he makes his way over to the young man, who is tensing up again as soon as he notices him doing so.

“I don’t want to fight again,” Barry croaks and he sounds so miserable that Eobard nearly considers to leave as he doesn’t want another fight either and, while he doesn’t intend to start one, he knows his own temper when the other man is involved just too well.

“Then let’s not,” he says quietly and stops in front of Barry, who is watching him with tired, sad eyes. “I haven’t come here to fight.”

The expected question why he has come here then, stays out and he is a bit glad for it because he wouldn’t have known how to answer it.

“Don’t.” There is a warning to how Barry watches his hand when he starts to reach for him but Eobard ignores it.

It doesn’t surprise him that the shoulder he cups is slightly vibrating, the other man is so tensed up that is muscles are taut under his touch. He shifts his hand after he gave Barry a second to move away, so that he is cupping his neck.

“I’m not hating you,” Eobard says quietly but firmly and meets the wide green eyes that are now looking him with a mixture of surprise, uncertainty and hope.

_You make it so easy to hurt you_ , he thinks and somehow this notion holds no amusement or joy anymore.

“Then why do you treat me like this?” Barry sounds tired, no trace of anger left in his voice. “Why do you just come around to have sex before you say or do something hurtful again that makes me feel like shit and leave?”

Eobard doesn’t answer, not sure how to replay – not even sure what the actual truth even is – and Barry doesn’t seem to expect him to. The younger man frowns unhappily and averts his eyes to the side.

“They always tell me what a horrible person you are, how this is just a scheme and how you will stab me in the bad one day…” Barry swallows and Eobard notices how pale he has started to look. “I… I always defend you… even when you are just as… awful to me as they say… and I really don’t understand why.” He turns back to him, looking tired and sad. “I don’t understand why I still... I just know that it leaves me feeling horrible and… I don’t want that. I can’t deal with it, not now not… not with everything else…”

The younger man breaks off and reaches up to brush over his eyes, chuckling softly under his breath, which sounds just wrong and causes Eobard to feel even more uneasy. His hand is still resting on Barry’s neck and he notices the urge again that tries to get him to pull the other man closer.

It is hard to try and think of something to say, a way to explain why he acted like this, but he doesn’t like the notion to put himself out there, not even for Barry, who has certainly no intent to harm him. Eobard doesn’t like to offer anything of himself to others that could possibly be used against him, and there is also this little stubborn voice in the back of his mind that keeps insisting that he is in the right, that he has no reason to apologize just because of Barry's stupid expectations of him.

Eobard ignores it and steps a bit closer to Barry, who meets his eyes with a familiar wariness that really starts to go on his nerves. Tentatively, he urges him closer with the hand on his neck and is a bit relieved when Barry only hesitates for a moment before he relents. Eobard meets him halfway and those damn lips are just as delicious and soft as he remembers. A well-known heat starts to spread through his loins and is then that he realizes how much he has yearned for this, how much he has missed this simple little touch.

Barry makes a small mewing sound, which causes Eobard to smirk before he uses the opportunity to deepen it. The mouth is hot and slick as is the tongue that greets his and he is rewarded with a groan that sounds sultry and hungry and it is everything he needs and wants.

His hand on Barry’s neck moves up, so that he can bury his fingers in his hair and grip it tightly, probably a bit painfully so, which earns him another wanton groan and he has to smirk against these wonderful lips in amusement and satisfaction once more. Barry obviously doesn’t miss it, as one of the hands he has put on Eobard’s hips by now, pinches him rather hard in warning.

“Don’t be an ass,” the brunette murmurs and looks a bit annoyed but not enough so that he actually pulls back.

“You should not try to change a man’s nature,” Eobard replies and he watches Barry roll his eyes before his gaze settles on him again, with an expression that is much softer than the brief glare he gave him before.

They watch each other quietly for a long moment, close enough that their lips are nearly touching and that they are breathing each other’s breath.

It is intimate and while a part of Eobard urges him to break it, he stays like this, just watching the other man’s slightly flushed face. He can’t stop marvelling over how young Barry still is in this timeline and, with some bitterness, how old he has gotten in comparison by now. Not that it really matters thanks to the speed force but years wasted will always stay years wasted.

So much time spent on finding a way back to a wold he never really considered his home anyway.

… and all for naught.

Fate is an ugly mistress.

“You want me to show my favourite yoga stances?” he asks with a dirty little smirk and it catches Barry visibly off-guard for a moment before the younger man snorts and gives him an incredulous look.

“Regarding come-on lines, this one was rather lame, Eo.”

Barry hisses when Eobard tightens the hand in his hairs once more and glares at him in response.

“This is not my name,” he reminds him with a frown that deepens when the younger man has the audacity to chuckle.

“It is a nickname like Barry is mine. I need one for you.”

There is still a bit of the former apprehension left in these pretty green eyes but Barry is obviously in a playful mood and while Eobard really hates this stupid version of his name – a very _strong_ name in his time, thank you very much –, it is good that the younger speedster has started to relax around him again.

“You certainly don’t,” he retorts drily, which causes Barry to grin. The sight of it causes a still surprising but by now familiar warmth spread through his belly and he really isn’t sure how to feel about this.

“Okay.”

Eobard lifts an eyebrow at that, not expecting the younger man to actually give up on this so quickly.

“Not the issue with your nickname, I still need to find one if you don’t like Eo,” Barry explains and his eyes are actually crinkling a bit as he says so before they turns softer again. “Show me your favourite yoga stances.”

The notion of going to touch Barry, make him shudder and moan under his fingers, causes the erection in Eobard’s pants to harden even more and it really costs him a lot of self-restraint to not just fling him to the ground then and there and take him.

Instead, he steps back, watching amused and with quite some self-satisfaction how Barry doesn’t seem happy about the sudden loss of closeness, and nods to the mat that is still resting on your ground. “Go back to your former pose.”

The _Downward Looking Dog_ stance is a rather easy yoga stance but quite exposing if you have something more than relaxation, stretching or meditation in mind. He isn’t surprised when he sees a blush bloom on Barry’s cheeks and he is looking forward to the reaction when he hears his next instruction.

“And take your clothes off before you do so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! ;)
> 
> Next part will be in Barry's POV and (unfortunately) it won't be just smut.


	4. Yoga Offers Great Stress Relief Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is not edited, so please excuse any errors.
> 
> Thanks to all of you who took the time to leave me feedback, I really love them immensly!

* * *

“And take your clothes off before you do so.”

Barry face turns crimson at the other man’s last words and he isn’t sure whether he has understood him correction or not.

He couldn’t really…

Well, considering Eobard’s amused smirk and the hungry glint in his eyes, he seems to be serious.

“I-I don’t…” Barry is certain that he has to be glowing brighter than his ceiling light by now with how hot his face feels.

“I’ve seen you naked before, you do remember that?” Eobard asks and seems to enjoy his discomfort way too much.

“Yes but never when I… not like this,” Barry explains somewhat helplessly before he huffs in frustration because he knows that he is just making an even bigger fool of himself. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and half-heartedly glares at the other man.

“There is really no reason to feel self-conscious,” Eobard assures him and Barry thinks that this is easy for him to say as he wouldn’t be the one doing yoga stances _butt naked_.

This… this is so typical Eobard, he makes an total ass out of himself, hurts Barry, treats him like the dirt under his fingernails and just comes back a couple of weeks later to have sex with him. Not even really apologizing about anything…

… and Barry is stupid enough to let him do this time and time again.

Barry jumps slightly when Eobard touches his elbow light and turns his gaze back to him with a wary look.

“Trust me,” the older speedster says in a calm and deep voice that causes a slight shiver to run down Barry’s spine.

“Trust you?” he repeats quietly and hates how small he sounds, like a scared kid and not a grown up man. Eobard has this effect on him, he can so easily make him feel small…

“How long can I trust you this time? Till after we had sex? Or maybe a couple days longer? Maybe a week? How long till you throw me aside like a dirty shirt again?”

It is never a good idea to start a fight with him, Barry isn’t a very confrontational person to begin with, but the couple of times they actually clashed due to him initiating it, it has always been awful. Eobard just knows how to push his buttons and what to say to hurt him. This damn man seems to know him so well that it is _scary_ at times.

To his surprise, Eobard doesn’t get angry over his words, though. His hand only tightens its grip on Barry’s elbow a bit but not even enough to be painful.

“You know who I am, Barry, you’ve known it from the very start of this,” the older speedster speaks quietly and meets his eyes with an intensity that makes him want to fidget. He looks like he wants to say more but doesn’t in the end.

This is probably one of their main problems.

They never talk, not really, not like other couples…

“I know you,” Barry agrees quietly with an unhappy frown, “but we both started this and you can’t tell me that… that you expect me to just take your damn mood swings and verbal abuse whenever you feel like it.”

Eobard scowls slightly but Barry goes on before he can be interrupted.

“My family and friends think I’m nuts, they don’t trust me anymore, they think I’ve turned my back on them because of you…” he swallows around a painful lump and closes his eyes for a second before he looks back to the other man with a sorrowful and pained expression. “I don’t think th-that they want to have me around anymore… I’ve messed things up with them because I lov-”

Barry stops himself and feels his face grow hot once more in embarrassment of what he has nearly said. He could kick himself for that slip.

So much for not putting himself any further out there for Eobard to hurt him.

“Look,” he starts again, no longer meeting the other man’s gaze but looking to his side,” I’m not in a very good place right now, Eobard. I… I don’t know whether it is a good idea-”

“ _Don’t_.”

Eobard’s voice is low but harsh and the warning in it isn’t lost on Barry who turns back to him with a slightly taken aback expression. For a second he feels intimidated and unsure but then he shakes it off and glares back at the other man.

“You are expecting me to just go on like this?!” Barry hisses angrily and makes a step back while shaking the hand on his elbow off. “You really think I will just let you walk all over me because you feel like it!? I can’t do this anymore! I can’t try to… to be with you and you not taking this serious…”

A pained expression crosses his face and he looks away. The memory of his talk with Iris a couple of days comes back to his mind and he can’t help but remember how worried she has been – not angry, not anymore, just worried.

“I don’t want to lose my family...”

His voice breaks and he squeezes his eyes shut, feeling like such an idiot for expecting Eobard to understand or even just to care. Barry brought this upon himself, the other man is right, he knew who Eobard is, who he probably will always by and he has been so stupid to really hope that this could work…

“Your family loves you.”

Surprised, Barry turns back to Eobard, who is watching him now with a slight scowl.

“Your foster father is worried and angry at the moment, which is understandable everything considered, and he wants to get you to change your opinion about this but he will calm down as will the rest of them,” the older speedster explains. “I’m not going to cause any more trouble to any of them, I have no reason to, and while they probably will go on to bear a grudge against me for a long time, maybe even forever, they will realize that I’m not a threat to them or you and things will return to normal.”

“It’s not just about you,” Barry argues frustrated and rubs his hands over his face, feeling tensed up and full of nervous energy again. “They’re angry at me, they think I’ve betrayed them and my d-dad… I… my dad…”

Tears come to his eyes at the notion of his father and Barry quickly brushes them away, not wanting to cry in front of Eobard again.

“He… he knows that something is up but… I can’t even face him… what am I supposed to tell him? Joe told me that I have to let him know about this and… he is right but… how can I?” His voice is trembling and it is so hard to keep it together, to not just let all this misery that has following him around for weeks now smother him under its mass. “How c-can I tell him that I… that I’m with the man who k-killed…”

Barry breaks off and for a moment he just stays there, eyes pressed shut, jaws clenched and his arm so firmly around himself that it becomes hard to breathe.

Why is this happening to him? Why does he feel this for… the murderer of his own mother?

A sob passes his lips and he is about to turn around, so that his back it to Eobard, when the other man is suddenly right there again. Barry shudders and makes a small protesting sound at the back of his throat when familiar strong arms close around him and he is pulled against the other speedster’s chest. He puts up a bit of a struggle, just for a second or so, before he just gives in.

The comfort, even if it will come at a price, is something he needs so badly right now.

Eobard, despite all his other faults, is very good at it, being there when Barry breaks apart, holding him together in a way, even if he hardly ever speaks in these moments.

Barry wishes he could make the others understand that this man isn’t just cruel and horrible or a monster but can be kind in a way.

“I-I can’t d-do this anymore,” he sobs against the crook of his neck, his own arms now resting around Eobard as well. “I don’t w-want to lose them… I can’t…”

“You won’t.” The other man sounds so damn certain, so sure, and Barry wishes he would be able to believe it. “Things will start to settle down again, Barry. Right now everybody is hurt and confused by you being with me but it will not stay like this. You are still the same good man you’ve always been, they know that, they are just worried about you.”

“What good person would… would fall for the murderer of their mother?” he asks quietly and his voice is hardly more than a whisper. He expects Eobard to grow angry now, to push him away or maybe even hit him.

The other man hates touching upon this and Barry is never sure whether it is because he is only fed up with having to deal with the consequences of what he did or whether it is guilt. Joe would never believe that Eobard could feel something like remorse – real honest remorse – over what he did and Barry shared this opinion for a long time.

Now he isn’t so sure anymore.

Anger doesn’t only origin in annoyance or frustration but also guilt and it is obvious how uncomfortable this topic about his mother’s death has become to the other man.

Eobard doesn’t push him away, though, or react in any other way for a long moment. Barry is just starting to wonder whether he has decided to ignore his question this time – and in a way this probably is preferable – when the arms around his middle tighten a bit.

“A very strong person, someone who is able to forgive despite the horror he had to live through in consequences of my actions. Someone who keeps believing in the best of people even if they themselves have learned a long time ago not to bother anymore.” Eobard’s breath is warm against his ear and Barry shudders slightly when he can feel his lips move lightly against his sensitive skin there. “Someone whose heart is so damn big that he is inevitably going to get hurt by it but despite this still keeps on fighting and helping others.”

Eobard brushes his lips tentatively against his temple, a display of affection and tenderness that is so unusual for him that Barry freezes.

“Someone who is so ridiculously decent, nice and plain good that even I can’t help but want to be better for him.”

The words hurt, in a good way, and Barry presses himself firmer against the other man, fighting against the urge to break like glass all over again.

“I’m not a good man, Barry,” Eobard goes on quietly and he sounds a bit weary as he does. “I probably never will be but I do feel regret for the consequences certain actions I chose to take have caused and killing your mother is one of them.”

“She was innocent…” Barry squeezes his eyes shut firmly and digs his fingers into the back of the other man. “She never did anything to you…”

“Neither have you and I still brought this upon you,” Eobard replies and there is a tension to him that makes it obvious that he is forcing himself to speak about this. “And while I don’t regret my initial actions, I do regret what they’ve cost you… what I’ve cost you.”

It is odd.

Barry hasn’t expected that Eobard would ever apologize to him for what he did. He hoped for this for a while, especially after they started getting intimate, but he soon realized that some things will just not happen, no matter how much he wishes for them.

And now… here they are.

“Thank you…” murmurs Barry softly and turns his head a bit so that his forehead is pressed against Eobard’s jaw. His eyes are still closed but feels somewhat relaxed again, no longer taut enough that he is worried he will snap any moment now.

“Do you think my dad will hate me when I tell him about you?”

This horrible fear has been eating away at him since they started this and has only grown since his father has been released.

Joe is right – of course he is – and he would have to tell his father the truth in the end. He couldn’t hide this forever and he doesn’t want to either.

“No, he will be worried, confused and probably angry for a while, but he will never hate you. I doubt that he will ever like this, neither him nor the rest of your family, but they don’t and never will hate you for this.”

It helps, hearing Eobard and how certain he sounds. Barry isn’t so sure but he clings to the other man’s words and can only hope that he is right.

They stay like this for a long while, Eobard holding him and Barry readily accepting the comfort and support, something he has yearned for so long.

“What do you think of my offer?”

Barry pulls a bit back at this question and gives the other man a slightly confused look.

“What offer?”

“My offer to assist you with you yoga stances,” Eobard clarifies and he is visibly enjoying it when it causes Barry to blush in embarrassment once again.

“I’m not going to do them naked,” Barry huffs and glares half-heartedly at him while trying to fight down a smile. The mood has lighten again thanks to the other man and he appreciates it.

“I know what you look like without clothes on,” Eobard points out again and lets his hand move lower to Barry’s ass.

Barry snorts and pushes himself a bit back. “Not the same, Eo.”

“No nicknames.” The older speedster gives him a warning glare but it isn’t as effective as it would have been just mere minutes ago. Still, Barry doesn’t want to get on his bad side again by accident and agrees with a roll of his eyes.

“Fine, _Eobard_ , but I’m still not going to take my clothes of.”

Eobard shrugs and Barry jumps slightly when he grips his buttocks tightly through his workout pants.

“Your loss,” he smirks before he lets go of him and takes a step back. “Doesn’t mean that I can’t assist you, though.”

Barry thinks about protesting as he doesn’t really like the notion of anybody watching him while he does yoga. It isn’t as if he is a complete novice to it but he is pretty sure that he is probably still messing enough of the stances up in some way that he would end up looking rather stupid.

“I’m not really that good at it,” he explains and tries not to appear as self-conscious as he feels. “I’m doing it just to relax and wind down.”

“The more a reason to let me point your mistakes out to you.”

Yeah… not really what Barry is looking forward to.

Eobard smirks as Barry’s discomfort is obviously not lost on him. “Yoga won’t be really effective if you are unable to practice it correctly. Clumsy as you are, you’re probably ending up hurting yourself instead.”

“I’m not clumsy,” Barry grouses and fights to urge to cross his arms in a petulant way.

“You are,” Eobard assures him amused and ignores the glare he receives in response. Instead, the older speedster turns and makes his way over to the yoga mat at the ground before he stops next to it about a foot away. He nods towards it. “Stop wasting my time and go back into your last stance.”

When Barry still hesitates, Eobard looks like he is fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “I won’t make you feel uncomfortable on purpose and you can keep your clothes on.”

“No biting remarks, okay?” he asks warily.

The other man looks close to pinching the bridge of his nose and huffing in frustration. Instead he nods with a slightly annoyed frown and after another couple of seconds, Barry decides to just go with it, though a small part of him stays sceptical.

“Okay, then… fine.” Barry smiles a bit unsure before he slowly makes his way back to the mat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems that there will be a third part to it and with atual saucy content... somehow this one just turned into something completely else from what I'd initially planned, not that it really bothers me as I quite like how it turned out. :3
> 
> Hope you liked it and let me know what you think.


	5. Yoga Offers Great Stress Relief Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry learns that yoga and kink go really well together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, this chapter is quite long compared to the other ones and I’m still a bit dazzled (and a bit embarassed) by how kinky it turned out.
> 
> I know that I kept everybody who wants to know what is going to happen next waiting for quite some time and I’m really sorry for it. I actually intended to put this chapter up sometime during last week while I had off from work but I somehow didn’t find time to write it and didn’t really know how to go about it because I wanted to write some smut between the two of them and I just weren't in the right mind-set for such a thing then.
> 
> Well, as you can see, I've found inspiration by now and the chapter is done. It turned out a lot more kinky than I intended it to but I just let my muse take its turn with it and I kinka like how it turned out, and hope the length of the chapter makes up for the long wait. :)
> 
> And, before I forget, it isn’t edited and due to its length and me just going over it like two times, there are probably a number of errors left but I hope they aren’t too distracting.
> 
> Please enjoy! ;)

* * *

Barry hesitates in front of the mat, glancing briefly back to Eobard, who hasn’t moved and is watching him closely instead. It causes him to get goose bumps and while he is still uncertain whether this is really a good idea, a part of him is also excited, which causes the slight flush across his cheeks to intensify for a moment.

Eobard told him that he would only instruct him and while the other speedster has done so a couple of times before, showing him how to use his powers in a more efficient way, it has always been somehow related to the speed force. Other than that, Eobard only ever seemed to seek him out to have sex…

It is probably stupid, hoping that something between them could have changed all of a sudden, make their relationship somehow more meaningful, but Barry…

The last couple of weeks haven’t been easy and he feels exhausted, emotionally much more so than physically, even though his sleep has suffered from what is going on between him and his family and friends as well. This has been the actual reason why he picked up yoga in the first place – he knows how great it is supposed to be with helping one to calm down.

His mind briefly goes to the first couple of times he ever tried it and how Iris ended up laughing at his attempts to practice his first sequences of stances… well, they both laughed because he just looked ridiculous thanks to his long limbs and the every present lack of any natural grace when it comes to how he moves.

Barry never lied to himself when it comes to how clumsy he has to appear at times, a tall person who has never really succeed to grow comfortable in his own body.

He didn’t hold it against Iris, it never bothered him when she laughed at him in this regard, he knew she never meant ill by it… more like a sister being amused by her dorky brother…

Urgh, yeah, he isn’t going to think about _that_ now.

The notion that he would end up looking just as ridiculous all over again, causes Barry’s stomach to drop a bit and he shoots another uncertain glance over his shoulder back to the other man.

It wouldn’t be the same should Eobard laugh at him.

He hates it when the other man does so, hates it when he throws derogatory remarks at him whenever Barry messes up somehow, and while Eobard said that he would keep his sharp tongue in check, he knows that he would likely offer a target too irresistible to resist.

“Stop overthinking this.” Eobard meets his surprised gaze with an irked frown that is replaced by an amused smirks when Barry flushes and starts to nervously gnaw at his lower lip. He does sound slightly annoyed but not hostile as he goes on. “I’ve told you I’m going to be on my best behaviour for now so stop wrecking your brain with unnecessary worries.”

“You tend to lie,” Barry points out matter-of-factly and isn’t really surprised when the other man doesn’t seem all that insulted by it.

“If it fits me and right now it doesn’t,” Eobard replies easily and nods to the mat. “Just go back to where you’ve stopped before and don’t pay me any mind for now.”

Barry searches the other speedster’s face for any sign that it would be better for him to refuse but he can’t find one. Eobard is obviously annoyed by his reluctance to do as he has told him but he doesn’t act on it. Instead, he is waiting for him and this is… unexpected.

With persisting doubts and a somewhat queasy stomach, Barry finally turns back to the mat and steps to the front end of it, so that Eobard is behind him and out of his view. He takes a deep breath in, standing up straight and moving his arms up from the side so that his hands touch above him. His head is tilted back and he feels into his body for a moment, noticing how tensed up it is once more, before exhaling slowly and bending forward while keeping his legs straight, his feet touching and his hands end up on the ground. With the next inhale he straightens his upper body a bit up again till it is horizontal to the ground and lifts his eyes. Another exhale and he bends down again, putting his hands more firmly onto the ground this time, and steps back into plank position.

It is surprising how familiar certain sequences of movements can become with time, even comforting so, and he lets himself relax into it a bit after he finished the first couple of stances without Eobard interfering.

Other than for his own breathing and the sound of him moving through his sequence, the room is nearly completely quiet, there is only the faint sound of the traffic from the streets below his living room window but nothing that would indicate that there is someone else with him. It is unexpected how easily it is for Barry to blend the other man’s presence out after just a few minutes, and he starts to relax into the different stances he is practicing.

Barry did never join any sports teams when he was younger, not so much because of a lacking interest to try something but because of how the boys who bullied him the worst through school were quick in making him understand that it was better – and _safer_ – for him to spend his afternoons after school at home.

It never really bothered him as he always liked books and he was allowed to do research on the internet and small experiments as long as he kept from burning down the house by accident. He always found something to do and keep himself from getting bored but it probably was one of the main reasons why he has always stayed rather lanky and never really filled out.

Iris was the one suggesting to him that he should try yoga a couple of years ago, convinced that this would be just the right kind of exercise for him and… Barry wasn’t exactly pleased that she thought so, to say the least. He humoured her, though, and even though he didn’t stick to it, he did enjoy yoga enough that it stayed as a fond experience in his mind.

Thus, after everything has started to just become too much over the last couple of weeks, he decided to go back to it and see whether it could help him to clear his head and forget some of his worries for a bit.

Despite his initial scepticism about whether he really could get his mind to stop circling about what is bothering all the time, he started to have some success with it after a couple of attempts and even though it is still hard for him to keep his mind mostly focus on the here and now, it is a small achievement he is proud of.

Barry is in such a state of near calm emptiness, his eyes directed towards where his navel is, once again in the downward-facing dog stance, when Eobard is suddenly there next to him, nearly startling him enough that he loose his balance. He turns his head to face the other man with a mixture of confusion and wariness, not really sure why he would suddenly interrupt him when he has been through this sequence already two times by now.

“ _Adho mukha svanasana_ is meant to be a resting stance here,” Eobard explains and meets his gaze calmly, standing close enough that Barry can feel him next to his hip. “You’re moving through it too quickly.”

 _Adho mukha svanasana_? Barry is pretty sure that he probably refers to the downward-facing dog stance and isn’t really surprised that the other man would know its original name.

“Slow your breathing down as well,” Eobard goes on and Barry’s gaze follows him with a slight unease as he starts to slowly walk around him, taking his pose in from different angles. “Try to take at least five slow breathes before you leave this stance and push your hands more firmly into the ground.”

Their eyes meet then and the other speedster smirks as if amused by his ongoing wariness. “You seemed to know towards where to direct your gaze before, do you really need me to point this out to you as well?”

Barry’s cheeks grow uncomfortably warm and he glares half-heartedly at Eobard before turning back to face his own abdomen, suddenly all too aware of the other man’s presence again.

A light touch to his lower back startles him but Eobard is speaking before he has the possibility to protest. “Direct your coccyx more towards the ceiling.”

He does so and Eobard takes a step back, studying his current stance.

“You can move on to the next stance,” he tells him after a moment and Barry complies, glad to get into a stance where his butt isn’t sticking up in the air.

They go on like this for a while, Eobard correcting him every now and then, always touching when he does so but never using any scornful words. Instead, he offers some explanation to most corrections, why he wants Barry to roll his shoulders back further, why he should bend his knees a bit more, why it is a habit of yogi not to only keep mindful of towards where to direct their gaze or how they breath, but also how they position their tongue in certain stances – which is something Barry may have read about once before but never really looked into because he found it kind of bothersome to keep track on this as well.

The initial tension and worry starts to seep out of his body and Eobard’s presence stops to be a distraction. Instead, it turns into a maybe not exactly comfortable but at least tolerable addition to his practice.

It is especially the other man’s voice that helps Barry to relax, to regain his calm and, after a bit, forget that he is probably looking really stupid in most of these stances. Instead, it lulls him into a state of tranquillity and he starts enjoying listening to him.

Barry has always liked Eobard’s voice, even back when he still knew the man as Dr. Wells. It is just pleasant listening to it, a bit like a thick soft blanket when it is cold outside. Having had the other man talk to him during sex, he can’t help but connect it to the very act itself at times, especially when he lowers it to a deep, nearly husky quality that makes Barry’s knees weak.

… like now.

“Rest here.” Eobard lays his hand on Barry’s lower back again after he moved back into the downward-facing dog stance. The touch is light but intense and Barry tries not to focus on it because he knows that his body would react to it in a rather embarrassing way otherwise.

“You’re not bad at this,” the other man goes on and Barry shudders when he starts to draw small circles with his thumb over the patch of skin that is exposed between his workout pants and shirt. “You’ve the right statue and are nimble enough that most of the basic stances come easily to you, you’re just sloppy at times, which most likely stems from lack of actual tutoring.”

Eobard starts to scratch his skin lightly with the nail of his thumb and Barry feels all the blood rush to his face, or maybe not all of the blood, because he is currently starting to grow half-hard.

“I read instructions about yoga,” he explains and hates how short of breath he sounds. “Books and on the internet and Iris gave me a DVD once.”

Barry bites down on a groan when Eobard lays his other hand on his right thigh, close to his buttock, so that the fingertips rest on its inside, not even an inch away from his balls. It is only a faint touch but it still feels like a flash of heat shoots directly to his groins.

God, it has been weeks since they’ve had sex the last time and in the time Barry tried to avoid Eobard, he hasn’t bothered masturbating either, as he hasn’t been in the mood to with how messed up everything seems to be right now.

Being touch in such an intimate way all of a sudden, causes something in him to uncurl and he realizes just how much he has actually missed this. Not just the sex itself but having Eobard close like this. It is always like playing with fire, and he has been burned more than once already but even though he tried to keep the other man at a distance, he still missed him nearly all the damn time.

Barry shudders when Eobard’s hand on his lower back moves to rest on his stomach.

“Getting instructions on how to do exercises from a book or a DVD will ensure that you exercise most of the stances the wrong way from the beginning,” Eobard points out and Barry can feel his gaze on his back, even though he is unable to see him in his current position. “It’s likely that you end up doing more harm than good that way.”

Not really feeling like arguing right now, Barry stays quiet and instead concentrates on Eobard’s hands, on how they simply rest on him and how this is still so very arousing.

“You’ve always been ridiculously insecure about yourself and your looks.”

This causes Barry to stiffen and the thrilling warmth that has started to settle over him starts to make place to embarrassment and anger.

“Relax.” Eobard sounds unusually calm but the slight warning in his voice is not lost on Barry so that he reluctantly does so after a tense moment has passed between them.

“I’ve never understood why,” Eobard goes on and starts to lightly scratch the inside of Barry’s thigh, which causes him to shiver once more. “Your intellect surpasses that of most other people your age and despite what you may think of yourself, you’re a very attractive young man.”

“You like to call me an idiot an awful lot for that,” Barry mutters, even though the other man’s words, while unexpected – very unexpected –, are nice. There aren’t many who ever called him attractive before.

People have been interested in him, of course but they just never complimented him regarding his good looks

Iris may have called him attractive a couple of times, but more in that way an older sister assures their younger brother that they are indeed good looking and smart.

“I call it as I see it.” Eobard shrugs and the smile is audible in his voice. “I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t so willing to behave like one most of the time.”

The hand on his thigh starts to vibrate very slightly, hardly enough for Barry to make it out, but it still goes straight to his cock, which forces him to bite down groan. By now even the loose pants he is currently wearing seem much too restrictive to be comfortable.

“You’ll learn, though.” Barry has difficulties concentrating on what Eobard says with how close his hand is to his hard cock and how he wishes that the other man would intensify the vibrations of his hand just a bit. “You grew up being told that you’re like them, all those pitiful little insects with their pitiful little lives. They made you even think that you’re less worth than most of them, just because they are unable to recognize you for what you are.”

“I’m human,” Barry pants and thinks about moving a bit so that he could see the other man’s face. He hates when Eobard gets like this, like they are both somehow more important than the rest of the world because of their stupid powers. “I’m not perfect.”

Eobard chuckles, the sound causing Barry’s erection to twitch, and bends over a bit, so that his lips nearly touch Barry’s lower back where his hand has stopped to caress him now.

“No, you certainly aren’t,” he agrees easily and Barry bites down on another groan as he feels his hot breath onto the exposed sliver of skin. “But you’re still young. Before long, you _will_ become magnificent, Barry. You’re simply meant to be.”

Barry doubts that very much but he holds his tongue. He really isn’t going to have this discussion right now, not with how damn horny he feels.

Thanks to his connection to the speed force, his appetite for sex has increased immensely, especially after Eobard and he started this… relationship.

Even so, over the last couple of weeks, he hasn’t felt any urge whatsoever to indulge himself in anything of that matter as worrying about whether your family hates you or not is about the best buzz-kill there is. Not that he would have had many options of bedpartner other than his right hand, anyway.

Now, it seems as if something in him has clicked and he wants Eobard to touch his damn cock so badly that it hurts.

Then, the hands on him are suddenly gone and Barry can’t help but hiss a curse because this is so damn _typical_!

With a huff, he lets himself sink onto his knees and turns to glare at the other speedster.

Eobard, of course, finds it amusing. He meets Barry’s glower with a slight smirk and makes a step back.

“You’re still not interested in taking your clothes off?” he asks and crouches down, catching Barry a bit off-guard by it. They are now on nearly same eye-level again. “You would enjoy it, I would make sure of that.”

His eyes seem darker, dangerous but not sinister, and Barry isn’t sure whether he wants to agree after all or not. Indecisive and nervous, he starts to bite his lower lip, watching how the other man’s expression turns from amused to annoyed.

It isn’t as if he doesn’t want to have sex with him. Right now, he wants nothing more than that but…

“Why do you want me?”

As soon as the words are out, Barry wishes he hadn’t asked.

It is a valid question, one that has been bothering him for a long time now but he knows how damn insecure it makes him sound.

“You hated me,” he presses on, worried about the scowl that has appeared on Eobard’s face. “You say you don’t anymore, and I believe you but… why… what is this between us? Are we partners or… do you just want to have sex because of whom you think I’m going to be one day? Because… I’m not… I’m not the Barry Allen you fought before.”

A tense moment tickles by between them and Barry becomes uncomfortably aware of how hard he is. He crosses his legs and tries to fight down a flush while he tries to meet the other man’s increasingly darker gaze.

“You’re asking me whether I’m using you as a surrogate for the Barry Allen I came back to erase from existence?” Eobard asks and Barry doesn’t like the sneer with which he does so. “Whether I _like_ you for who you are?”

When the other speedster doesn’t go on but watches him, obviously waiting for a reply, Barry forces himself to nod reluctantly.

Eobard chuckles and the sounds has nothing arousing to it anymore, it sounds sharp and hard.

“You aren’t him, Barry. For all his faults, he never was this painfully insecure and weak as you are.”

It is like a slap and Barry scrambles to his legs because he needs to get away for this damn man.

At least, he tries to, because Eobard is suddenly right there, pushing him to the ground, so that he is onto him. Barry, on his back and with his wrists firmly gripped and placed next to his head by the other speedster, who is now leaning over him, sitting on his abdomen, hisses angrily and tries to shake him off.

“Calm down,” Eobard sounds annoyed but much calmer than Barry feels right now.

“Fuck you! Let me go!” he screams and starts to vibrate violently as he tries to shake him off. The fingers on his writs dig sharper into his skin as they firm their grip and he cries out again, in a mixture of fury and pain.

“Get off me! Get off!!!” His voice sounds distorted as his vocal cords are vibrating in the same high frequency as the rest of his body is.

“Calm down!” There is a familiar anger to Eobard’s voice as he presses himself down more firmly on Barry, vibrating as well, which makes him sound like his alter-ego again, like the Reverse Flash, the man in yellow, and he hates him so much for it.

“Go away! Leave me alone!” Barry screams and he is sure that his neighbours would pick up on something not being alright here very soon now – they hadn’t already.

Eobard seems to have the same thought as his grip on his wrists suddenly because extremely painful, so much so that Barry is certain the bone in there would snap any second now.

“Calm down or I will drag you someplace nobody will hear your little hissy fit!”

Fear and anger flash through Barry and for a moment he feels like screaming, just screaming, because all the frustration, hurt and betrayal is just too much.

Instead, his body suddenly stills for a second before it goes completely slack.

The silence that follows is deafening and Eobard keeps his painful hold of his wrists as if not trusting it.

Barry can feel his gaze but he can’t look at him, he can’t bring himself to. He is losing it, the pain in his chest nothing but a coil of hurt and misery, and he doesn’t want to see Eobard’s face when he breaks.

The sob wrenches his way out of his throat, Barry tries to fight it but he feels exhausted by the ongoing emotional to and fro.

The grip around his writs lightens but doesn’t vanish and he knows that Eobard is watching him closely, probably disgusted by his reaction but what the hell has he been expecting?!

“Stop crying.”

To his surprise, there is no anger in the other man’s voice, only weariness.

Barry presses his lips together and squeezes his eyes shut more firmly, unable to not be aware of Eobard’s presence as he is actually sitting on him.

He should have sent him away before, he should have known that it would end like this again.

God, he is such a stupid idiot!

Another sob forces its way out of him and he hisses in frustration and humiliation, not wanting the other man to see him like this as he doesn’t want to be that weak person Eobard seems to think him to be.

“Barry, there is no need to cry.” Eobard gives his writs a light squeezes, which causes Barry to flinch because, even with his accelerated healing factor, they still feel sore from the former abuse. The other man clearly notices as he seems to still briefly before he pulls his hands back but doesn’t move off him. Instead, he shifts a bit and bends further down, causing Barry to shudder when he gets close enough that he can feel his breath on his cheek.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Eobard says quietly.

Barry doesn’t reply as he isn’t trusting his voice and he really doesn’t care. The following slight brush of lips against his cheekbone cause him to tense up and make a small protesting sound, though.

“You’re just so damn frustrating most of the time,” Eobard goes on, close enough that Barry feels his lips on his skin as he speaks. “You’re asking for things I’m not willing to give… not yet, at least.”

The hands that held his writs before, lay onto the side of his ribcage. It’s just a light touch, tentatively so, and it causes the pressure in Barry’s throat and the itching of his eyes to grow even worse.

“I’m stuck here, I’ve so for decades and all my hope to go back to my own time is gone. It’s very likely that I won’t be able to leave this backward century ever again.” Eobard brushes his lips against his ear as he speaks. “And I’ve to adjust to this, which has turned out to be harder than I thought it would.”

He sits up then, which causes his hands to move from Barry’s ribs to his chest, where he lets them rest.

“It causes me to be irritable and easy to lash out, most of the time. Especially when I feel cornered.”

“I-I didn’t corner you,” protest Barry angrily and hates how feeble his voice sounds and how he can’t stop that damn tears.

Eobard stays quiet for a bit after that and while Barry has his head still turned away with his eyes closed, he knows that he is studied by him.

“You’re in a very uncomfortable spot due to our relationship and you want assurance from me this is worth everything you’ve to put up with right now.”

One of the hands on his chest, move up to Barry’s chin, gripping it firmly but not painfully and urging him to turn his head and face him.

“Look at me.”

Barry doesn’t want to. He wants him gone and finally be left in peace.

“Please, Barry, look at me.”

“No,” he utters miserably before another, less forceful, sob passes his lips.

His chin is let go of but Eobard hand doesn’t leave him and instead cups the side of this throat in a way that is both comforting and a bit frightening. There are probably not many people Barry will ever meet in his life who could cause him to experience such conflicting emotions at once.

“I don’t hate you,” Eobard finally says after a pause and Barry shudders when his thumb starts to caress his Adam’s apple. “And, despite what it must look like, I don’t like hurting you. It is difficult for me to not experience some of the emotions I’ve harboured for _him_ at times, though. You aren’t him but you’ve his talent to get under my skin and you may think you’ve cause to be envious of the alternate version of yourself and what he meant to me, but there is no reason to.”

Barry startles when Eobard’s odder hand suddenly touches his crotch, firmly enough to cause the former arousal to rear its head again and his now again flaccid cock to twitch.

“I felt nothing but hate for him towards the end.”

There is something to the way Eobard says this that Barry wants to ask what emotion for the other Barry Allen was there before the end, before all this hate and anger.

He is afraid to, though, and the thumb that has started to rub the length of his cock through his pants makes it increasingly difficult to think too much about it or anything else right now.

A soft moan passes Barry’s lips when the hand around his throat briefly tightens its grip, causing a flash of fear and thrill to go through his body.

“You’ve missed this, Eobard murmurs with an audible smile.

Barry stays quiet, at least till the other man starts to vibrate his hand that it currently rubbing his aroused cock, which causes him to cry out in surprise and thrust his hip up in response.

“It’s been a while,” Eobard agrees and tightens the grip around Barry’s throat. “You have been lacking in taking care of yourself in the meantime, haven’t you?”

His voice is deep and calm and so damn smooth again and causes the heat in Barry’s groins to spike as if in answer to it.

“It’s a pity,” the older speedster goes on while tightening his fingers around Barry’s throat some more. “The pretty cock of yours deserves better than this.”

The increasing constraint in air causes Barry to get a bit light-headed, which is an intense combination with the arousal that is currently spreading through his body. He tries to groan around the grip on his throat when Eobard traces the outline of his erection through his pants with the tips of his fingers, a feather light touch that drives him nearly crazy and urges him to thrust his hips up once more to establish just a bit more contact between them.

“I think you deserve a little something from me for my hash words from before,” Eobard says and Barry shudders when he tentatively pinches the head of his cock. “Would you like that?”

The part of him that wants the other man to leave isn’t completely gone yet and a soft whisper in the back of his mind reminds Barry of why this is a very dangerous idea and how it would likely leave him hurt again in the end.

Barry tries to swallow around the grip before he slowly opens his eyes and looks up to Eobard, who seems to have already expected his gaze. The other speedster seems much calmer than before and even oddly playful but there is a tension in his shoulders and the way he holds himself that is hard to miss.

Eobard is waiting for Barry to decide and he is not certain what this decision would be.

Then, the hand on his throat shifts and moves up so that it is cupping his jaw.

There is something to how Eobard touches him at times like this one, like he is trying to say things this way he can’t bring himself to do with actual words. There is a tenderness to his touch that causes something in Barry’s chest to uncurl and relax. It soothes some of the pain the other man has caused him in the first place and despite what his sense tells him, he can’t but welcome the comfort.

Eobard doesn’t ask him again whether he is alright with them have sex. Instead he bends down, pushes his other hand under Barry’s neck to urge him to lift it a bit up so that he can kiss him more easily.

Barry complies and only hesitates a second when the other man’s warm tongue pushes against his teeth before he relents and grants him access.

Kissing Eobard is like finding his place in the world, slipping into a spot that is just meant for him, somewhere he belongs to. It is an exhilarating feeling, intoxicating and always leaves him left wanting more after it is over.

His eyes slip close and he slowly lifts his hands that were still resting slightly above his head and puts them onto the other man’s shoulder.

Eobard smiles against his lips in response, obviously seeing this as an encouragement as the kiss becomes more possessive and Barry, feeling still raw and exhausted from everything, relents easily and just follows along. He jumps slightly when Eobard suddenly bites down on his lower lip rather painfully for a second, causing him to grunt in displeasure, before the other man starts to suck on it lightly, replacing the pain with a familiar flash of arousal that shoots straight between his legs.

Then, Eobard’s tongue is back in his mouth, rubbing against his own and causing him to shudder, but this time it only lasts for a moment before he goes back to nibble and suck on his lower lip once more.

This slowly but surely works Barry to a state in which is body feels too hot and too tight at the same time and he wants Eobard to just fuck him to get some release but at the same time he doesn’t want this to end because this is also so damn _nice_.

When they finally break apart, after what feels like an eternity, Barry’s lips are swollen and while he is out of breath, he also feels better than he has the whole evening so far – better than he has in a couple of weeks likely.

Eobard eyes are dark due to his dilated pupils and there is a hunger in the way he is watching him that nearly causes Barry to whimper in need.

“You look good like this.” The other speedster caresses his lower lip with his thumb and smiles in amusement when this coaxes a soft sigh from him. Barry opens his eyes slowly and returns the smile lazily while he squeezes his shoulders a bit.

“You’re not bad to look at either,” he says and flushes when he realizes how hoarse his voice now sounds.

In response, Eobard steals another kiss from him, leaving him once again breathless and with a pleasant warmth in his belly.

“I want to fuck you,” the other speedster whispers against his lips and chuckles when Barry groans in response as these words pull his attention back to the erection between his legs, which is painfully hard by now.

Eobard climbs off him but doesn’t get up. Instead he lays one of his hands flat on Barry’s lower abdomen, close to the visible bulge in his workout pants, and meets his eyes with a little smirk.

“Before that, I would like to try something else,” he explains. “For that I would need you to take off your pants, can you do that for me?”

This words cause a surge of excitement to flash through Barry’s body but also a slight worry because he really doesn’t want to make a fool out of himself by trying any of these yoga stances naked and with a sprouting erection, no matter how thrilling that may be in a way.

“I’m not going to ask you to practice the Sun Salutation in front of me,” Eobard remarks drily as he doesn’t miss his reluctance.

Barry cheeks feel like they are burning right now.

“You want me to assist you?” the other man offers and snorts when he gives him a slightly alarmed look in return. He sits back onto his heels and shrugs. “Or you can do it on your own.”

While Barry has no idea what Eobard has in mind, and the voice of reason in his mind tells him to move this whole thing into the bedroom, the notion of doing something experimental is also a bit exciting, at least throbbing erection in his pants thinks so.

Biting his lower lip that still feels much too tender, he lifts his hips and pushes the pants and boxer shorts down his thighs. He refuses to look at Eobard as he does so but, unfortunately, it doesn’t make this any less awkward.

After sitting up, he pushes them all the way down to his ankles and kicks them off before quickly pulling his legs close so that his erection would at least be somewhat covered.

“I’ve seen you naked before,” Eobard reminds once again and the amusement over his discomfort is so plain in his voice that Barry shoots him a glare. He ignores it and instead asks him to turn around, so that he facing the end of the mat.

“I want you to go into Halasana,” he explains at Barry’s wary expression and adds, when it only turns confused. “The Plow Pose.”

… no way in _hell!_

“I’m not doing this pose while naked,” Barry hisses and pulls his knees even closer while putting his arms around them. But despite his words, the notion alone causes another flash of arousal to go straight to the base of his cock and he can’t stop himself from shuddering slightly in response.

This isn’t lost on Eobard, who doesn’t seem particularly annoyed by his refusal this time, as he chuckles and moves closer to him, so that he can cup his left shin. His hand is warm and big and Barry bites down on a groan because he is ridiculously horny and the touch feels like too much and too little all at the same time.

It only gets worse when Eobard leans so close again that he can nearly feel his lips on his ear again.

“There is no reason to be embarrassed about your body,” he assures him. “Just looking at you makes me want to bury my cook balls deep into your ass and fuck you till you know nothing but my name anymore.”

“God…” Barry moans and turns his head so that he can meet his lips again as the words as well as the soft puffs of the other man’s breath on his skin cause him to nearly go crazy.

Eobard doesn’t seem to mind as he returns to kiss about as greedily as before but pulls back again very early this time and chuckles when Barry whines in protest.

“I’ve something much more enjoyable in mind.” Eobard reaches for his hairs and buries his fingers in them with a firm grip before giving them a sharp tug without warning, which causes a mixture of pain and arousal to shoot through Barry. “But I need you to stop being a stubborn brat for once and play along for it.”

Barry licks his lips and studies the other man for a moment. His hand has still a nearly painful grip on his hair and even though it hurts, it is nothing to how it stirs on the heat in his loins.

“… okay.”

A pleased smile spread over Eobard’s lips and he gives his hair another sharp tug before letting it go. Barry hisses due to the pain but can’t bring himself to glare at the other speedster for it because it isn’t as if he wasn’t enjoying it too.

Slowly and still somewhat hesitantly, Barry then moves around, so that he faces his living room window. Thinking too much about what he is about going to do is probably not a good idea as he knows himself and how he would certainly decide to wuss out should he give himself an opportunity to. Thus, Barry lets himself roll back onto his back before he bends his knees and sets his hands firmly to the ground next to his feet.

Moving into _shoulderstance_ is easy for him, he could do this without problem since he was a child – much to Iris’ annoyance who was never able to do one without the support of a wall or someone holding her ankles. Doing them butt naked, though, makes it a whole different experience and he tries not to notice how very exposed he feels as he knows that Eobard is watching every single of his movements.

Barry takes a deep breath in, closes his eyes and exhales the air again slowly as he moves into Plow Pose, thus bending his legs over his hips till his toes are touching the ground above his head.

Okay, if the shoulderstance was bad, then this is just plain _horrible_.

There is _no way_ he would stay like this for any amount of time –

As if he had heard his thought, Eobard is suddenly between his legs, pushing them further apart to make himself space to knee in front of Barry, who is looking up to him in a surprise, embarrassment and alarm.

“No, I don’t-”

Eobard’s hands cup his buttocks firmly and pull them apart further, exposing the ring of muscle between them to the air of the living room, and causes Barry to nearly die of mortification in turn.

“Stop, Eobard, I’ve changed my m-”

A jolt flashes through Barry’s whole body when Eobard, obviously ignoring his protest, starts to rub one of his thumbs lightly against his asshole, cutting him off mid-sentences this way.

“Oh god, fuck,” Barry groans and tries to adjust his arms a bit, which are pretty much stuck behind him in this pose due to the limited movability of his shoulders, and make him feel not only exposed but also pretty awkward looking. The feeling of the other man touching him there this way is… odd.

Odd and so damn _hot_.

“I take it that this isn’t as horrible?” Eobard actually smirks down at him, the smug bastard. Not giving him much opportunity to reply, the other man then turns back to his actual source of interest and bends down.

Oh fuck! _Fuck!!!_

Barry hisses and can’t stop another jolt to rip through his body as Eobard pulls the ring of muscles slightly apart before he flicker his damn _tongue_ over it!

“F-fuck,” Barry grunts and the sensation is so intense that he can’t help it but tense up and thus start to bend his legs. Eobard immediately sits back up and, a moment later, a loud _SMACK_ fills the late night calmness of his living room, catching Barry so off-guard that he freezes but otherwise doesn’t react to the stinging pain from where his right buttock has just been slapped.

“Stay relaxed, I don’t want you to move.”

What the hell?!

“I can’t,” Barry sputters, “You can’t expect me to keep still while you… you…”

“Eat your ass?” Eobard provides amused before his expression turns more serious again. “You can, Barry, and you will, otherwise we will end things right here for tonight.”

“ _What_?! Don’t be a jackass, Eo-”

Barry hisses when his buttock is slapped once more, this time sharper than the last time, with enough force that the pain brings tears in his eyes.

“We do this according to my rules,” the other speedster tells him firmly and Barry could kick him because despite how menacing he tries to make himself look right now, he still can make out the damn amusement in his eyes. “Or we don’t do this at all. I’m not heartless, though, and I really want to fuck you afterwards, so don’t worry, I will help you with it.”

Eobard meets his glare easily and patiently wait till Barry grumbles his okay and forces himself to relax again.

As soon as the other speedster seems satisfied with his pose, he once more turns his attention back to hiss asshole, this time pulling his buttocks even further apart, which causes Barry to feel exposed in a way he hasn’t really experienced till now but seems to please his cock to no end, as it keeps twitching like it is trying to get someone to pay some attention to it. In his current position, he has a very good view of it, and he knows that it is stupid, but he can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed by this.

Then, Eobard’s warm and slick tongue touches the tight pucker of muscles again and Barry can’t help to tense up again. Like before, this causes the other man to pause and sit back.

To Barry’s surprise, he doesn’t say anything at all this time and instead seems to just watch him. It takes Barry a moment to realize that he is actually waiting for him to relax again.

Is he really going to keep this up!? They are not getting anywhere if Eobard insists on him staying relaxed through this, there is no fucking way…

It seems like the other speedster has read his thoughts – or maybe his frustrated and slightly alarmed expression – as he smirks down at him.

“Don’t worry, you will get the handle of it pretty quickly, believe me,” Eobard assures him and, at Barry’s very doubtful look, explains further. “I won’t let you come otherwise.”

These few words cause a surge of panic and exhilaration to flash right to the base of his cock that make it twitch as if electrified for a couple of seconds. Barry groans in response and can’t stop the shudder that goes through him as the first couple drops of pre-cum start to tickle down onto his chest and chin.

He knows that Eobard is watching him, he can’t hear him chuckle at his reaction to this threat, but he can’t bring himself to look at him again.

“You really are about to burst, aren’t you?”

Barry hisses in surprise when the other man suddenly cups his balls and give them a light squeeze, sending another surge of arousal right to his cock, which in response weeps a few more drops of pre-come.

“I don’t think this will work.” Eobard says this under his breath, like he is talking to himself, and Barry is just about to ask what he means – slightly worried that he will make true on his threat and leave – when he suddenly vanishes for a second. He reappears just as quickly again, though, giving Barry no time to feel alarmed by his absence.

“Hold still,” the other speedster instructs him before he takes a hold of his hard cock and pushes something over its head. Barry moans loudly in response and can’t help to flush at how wanton he sounds, which only intensifies when Eobard glances down at him, clearly amused, before he turns back to whatever he is doing with his cock.

“This will do.” Eobard meets his confused glance with a smirk and Barry kind of dreads to look back to his erection because he is pretty sure he already has a good idea of what…

As expected, there is a slim silicon band wound around the base of his cock and the sight alone causes another spike in his arousal and, like before, his erection twitches slightly in response but doesn’t actually leak this time.

This is new, he never had sex with a cock ring on before, he never even tried one on, and the feeling is alien and intense but in a good way.

“You like it,” observes Eobard and looks so damn smug again that Barry would love to kick him for it. “Good, now relax.”

Barry frowns up at him, not sure how he imagines this to be possible but he knows Eobard and right now is probably not the right moment to start a discussion with him, especially because his shoulders and arms start to hurt and the need to come is like an itch at a spot he cannot reach and it drives him _crazy_.

Thus, he takes a deep breath and wills himself to do as the other man has told him.

A moan slips his lips when Eobard grips his buttock again and this time, before he goes any further, he looks down to him and tells him to concentrate on his breathing.

“It will help you to stay relaxed.”

This is something Barry very much doubts but he keeps this thought to himself. Instead he tries it and hopes that it will really help somewhat because he just wants to finally get off.

The warm and slick tongue is back on him and Barry breathes, he tries to breathe through the urge to tense up and for the next minute or so it really seem to work while the nimble slick muscle circles his pucker and moves over it time and time again. Then Eobard actually starts to push it past the ring of muscles, though, and Barry loses it again, tensing up like a bow that is pulled tight.

And just as quickly, the slick warmth is gone from him and he is left shaking and moaning and with the strange sensation of his asshole being wet and exposed.

“Eobard, please, I need to come,” he tells him, voice hoarse and his mouth feeling dry.

“In that case you know what to you’ve to do,” Eobard replies easily and Barry feels both anger and panic rise in him because he can’t keep this up, he knows that, his damn cock feels so huge and hard and just looking at it makes him want to come even harder.

“I can’t do this,” he protests and tries to move his arms a bit because they are on the best way to falling asleep. “Can’t we-”

“It’s this or nothing.”

Despite the calm tone, Barry doesn’t doubt that Eobard is serious and would go through with his threat.

Damn this jackass!

Even though glaring up at him brings nothing, Barry still does so for a moment before he starts to concentrate on breathing again and forcing his body to relax once more.

Things go on like this for the next ten minutes and while Barry hates it, he is able to keep himself relaxed under the ministration of Eobard’s tongue, teeth and finger a bit longer each time. It is still not enough, though, and with each time that everything stops and he has to force himself to relax again, the frustration grows worse while the need to come becomes more urgent.

His cock is bigger than Barry has ever seen it before, it’s engorged and red, nearly purple at the head, and a part of him just want to touch it to find out what it feels like this aroused.

Barry forces himself to look away, to look at his couch that is just a couple feet next to him, and concentrate on breathing while Eobard is currently fucking him with his tongue in slow but firm thrusts and he wants to scream because it’s so good, it makes his skin crawl and his cock throb with need, but it isn’t enough, it just isn’t enough, and he knows that he wouldn’t be able to come from this but the other man doesn’t seem to get it or just doesn’t care.

He bites his lower lip and tries to distract himself from how it feels that this slick warm muscle forces itself past his rim again and again, while the surrounding finger that keep his buttocks apart, keep flexing and relaxing in a rhythmic manner, pulling his ring of muscles apart along with their slight movements and making this tongue fuck so much more intense that way.

Then, suddenly, Eobard sits back and catches Barry completely off-guard as he has started to loose himself in the pattern of the comforter of his couch.

“I didn’t tense up,” he protests and shoots the other man a pleading look.

Eobard chuckles in response and gives his right buttock a light squeeze, which causes Barry to shudder and groan, before he gets up.

“Stay put,” the other speedster tells him before he makes his way over to where Barry’s bedroom is.

Barry, feeling confused, horny like hell, and just plain annoyed, thinks about stopping this and getting himself off instead. His cock, which has lured his attention back in again, looks so painfully hard that he knows that he would probably need nothing more than to simply to touch it after the cock ring is off to come.

A part of him doesn’t want to, though.

He doesn’t like to listen too closely, but a small voice in the back of his mind tells him that he enjoys this, being dominated and let Eobard taking care of his needs.

After everything that goes on in his life – and he is not thinking about Joe, his dad or anyone else of them just now because, _no fucking way_ – it’s nice to no longer just stumble around, not knowing what to do to make things alright again, but let someone else take care of him and a part of his life for once.

Eobard loves to dominate and Barry really doesn’t, and it has crossed his mind a couple of times so far that this is probably the reason why they are so damn compatible, at least when it comes to sex, because even though he doesn’t like to dominate, he knows by now that he likes to be dominated, no matter how embarrassing of a truth it is…

His string of thoughts is broken when he hears Eobard enter his living room again, walking over to him in a leisured pace before he stops just about a foot from him.

Barry feels his cheeks grow warm when the other man simply seems to take him in for a moment and the urge to close his legs and roll over is nearly overwhelming.

“I could fuck you like this,” Eobard tells him in a slightly hoarse voice and Barry’s gaze is pulled to the impressive bulge in the other man’s pants and he can’t help but feel a bit excited over the promise it holds. “You look like you’re just waiting for me to do so.”

The other speedster meets his gaze then and smiles in a predatory way that is all too familiar and causes Barry’s cock to twitch nearly painfully.

“But where would be the fun with that?”

With that, he knees down between Barry’s legs again and opening a bottle of lubricant, which he must have gotten from his bedroom.

Barry hisses when the cool liquid trickles between his buttocks, shuddering at the contact, and is unable to stop his hips from wiggling a bit.

“Hold still,” Eobard warns him, which urges Barry to gives him a petulant glare before he forces himself to do so anyway.

The bottle is put next to the mat then. Barry watches it briefly out of the corner of his eyes before he hisses and grits his teeth when Eobard, without warning, starts to push a finger past the firm ring of muscles.

“I know that you want to come,” the other man says and starts to pat Barry’s hip with his free hand while his pointer slowly but surely works its way up to its second digit inside his ass. “And you’ve been really good before, which deserves a little treat.”

Barry groans and bits his lower lip once more as Eobard isn’t exactly hurting him but he isn’t giving him time to really adjust either as he forces his finger further in.

“I won’t stop this time,” Eobard goes on and pulls his finger that has been past its second digit by now, out again to coat it in more lubricant before repeating the former motion. “I will keep fucking you with my fingers but my rule still stand, you’ve to stay relaxed. Otherwise I won’t let you come.”

This causes Barry to tense up and for a second he feels like he is frozen in time as dread and excitement flood him and seem to blind out everything else, before his attention is force to the here and now again by how Eobard keeps pushing his finger deeper into his ass.

“No,” he protests and shoots the man above him an alarmed look. “I can’t do that, I won’t be able to stay relaxed when you do this. I need to come!”

“You won’t if you can’t follow my rule.” Eobard shrugs and starts to pull his finger out again before adding a second one, ignoring Barry’s hiss as he slowly starts to force their tips past the band of muscles.

“I can’t,” Barry argues and has to briefly pause because having two fingers pushed into him is something completely different than a tongue doing so.

It is nearly too much but he doesn’t want the other man to stop either, who is watching his every reaction closely, which makes this so much more intense.

“Then you won’t be able to come.”

“No! That’s not fair!” Barry gives him a pleading look. “You can’t expect me to be able to do that!”

Eobard smirks at that.

“Do you want me to stop, then?”

This questions shuts down Barry’s next protest quickly as they both know that he doesn’t.

“Try to concentrate on your breathing again,” Eobard suggests and pushes his fingers in a bit further before pausing. “It will help.”

Barry feels so damn frustrated that he nearly curses him.

His mind comes to a grating halt, when Eobard’s fingers suddenly brush against his prostate. It is as if someone has pushed the air out of Barry’s lungs and for a moment there is nothing but this magnificent overwhelming feeling of pleasure shooting straight to his cock. The sensation flooding the rest of his body as well, like electricity, causing his skin to tingle and muscle to contract.

A loud, wanton moan passes his lips and he really doesn’t care what he sounds like or what he looks like anymore, because this – _this_ – is exactly what he _needs_.

The fingers are pulled out less slowly this time before they are pushed back in with more speed and force again. Barry shudders violently as they brush against his prostate once more, causing another electrifying feeling to flash through him and, in turn, his body to tense up.

“Remember.” Eobard’s voice cuts through the fog of heat and arousal like a knife. “If you can’t relax, I won’t let you come.”

Barry makes a protesting sound, a mixture between a groan and a whine, which is replaced by a cry when Eobard suddenly starts to speed up enough that he must be close to using his powers.

It leaves Barry breathless and with nowhere to go and nothing to do other than take the deep and firm thrust of the other man’s hand, which drive him nearly insane because he is certain that his balls are about to burst and he needs to come so badly but still can’t.

The notion that Eobard would keep him from coming is horrifying and exhilarating at the same time and he tries to get himself to relax but without success because it is such a ridiculous thing to ask of him under this circumstance, and the other man knows that.

Every time the fingers are pulled back, Barry’s body automatically tenses up to try and keep them inside him and, when they push back in, it does the same because the pleasure they cause is unable to bear any other way.

Barry really tries to regulate his breathing, to slow it down and deepen it like before, but having his ass fucked like this while in a pose that allows him hardly any movement and makes him feel exposed in a way nothing else has in his life before, he isn’t able to calm his breath at all.

“E-Eobart, p-please,” he stammers as his fingers dig into the cooland hard living room floor behind his back. “Please, I need… I _need_ to c-come, _please_ , let me come.”

“You are still tensed up,” Eobard points out and has the fucking nerves to chuckle.

“N-no, please, I need to come! _Please let me come_!”

Barry’s cock feels like it is ready to explode, his balls as well, and the feeling of the other man’s fingers brushing against his prostate without break is just too much, it causes his eyes to tear up in need and frustration, and there _nothing_ he can do.

The speed of the fingers suddenly pick up again, Eobard’s hand becomes an actual blur and before Barry can stop himself he starts to vibrate, simply unable to keep still while having to cope with this much stimulation.

It is a strange experience, he has vibrated before while having sex with Eobard but here, with his cock being untouched and cut off from being able to release, the vibration seems so much more intense, like he is his own sex toy, vibrating his hard cock and cause all the nerves in it to overload, unable to release but unable to stop either.

“S-stop! Stop, Eobard! _Stop_ , it’s t-too much!”

“You’ve five more minutes.” Eobard replies, ignoring his pleas.

“ _What_?!”

“Five more minutes for you to relax and to let me allow you to come,” the other man explains. “If you can’t, that’s it for you. Afterwards I will fuck you raw but the cock ring stays on and you won’t take it off till you’re at work tomorrow.”

The notion alone of possibly being denied his realise and having to using his morning bus to work with a constant hard on before he could duck away in one of the bathrooms at the precinct to take this damn ring off, is terrifying but also so very exciting that it catches Barry completely off-guard.

“N-no,” he protests feebly but, as before, Eobard simply ignores him and instead seem to let his finger fuck become even more fiercely, enough so that Barry’s toes curl up and he return to pleading for him to stop.

It feels like it takes forever before the other man speaks again, informing him that his time is nearly up.

“You’ve fifteen more seconds.” He sounds so damn amused and pleased that Barry cries out in frustration, but before he can call him one of the many names that pass through his mind right now, Eobard suddenly pushes his fingers firmly against his prostate, vibrating the sensitive spot like crazy.

This is simply too much, Barry tries to cry out, tell him to stop or at least slow down, but something curls up in his loins and he feels his eyes roll back into his head before everything turns dark.

When Barry come around again, he is still vibrating and still so hard he is sure he could use his stiff cock to punch a hole through one of his wall, but he is no longer in the same position as before but laying on his back now. It takes him a couple of seconds to realize that he is on the ground, on his yoga mat, and an involuntary whimper passes his lips when he notices Eobard sitting next to him.

“Please let me come,” he pleads as soon as his mind has cleared enough to let him formulate whole sentences again and he adds quickly when he remembers the other man’s former words. “Please, I can’t go to work like this.”

He sounds miserable but he doesn’t care. While the notion of leaving his flat with an arching erection has been thrilling before during the heat of the moment, it is just horrifying right now.

Eobard, who is watching him with an amused little smirk, snorts and the aches an eyebrow at him.

“You don’t have to go to work like this,” he tells him. “You can take the cock ring off any time after this is over. It’s interesting that you seem inclined to play along with this idea but I’m not forcing you to do something like this.”

His answering flush has to be so intense that Barry is sure that his face is as red as a beet up to his hairline.

What is even more embarrassing than realizing that he has been afraid of such a threat in the first place, is that he was actually really willing to follow the other man’s order and…

… that probably points to something he really _doesn’t_ want to take a closer look at right now.

“I thought that the notion of it could turn you on,” Eobard explains and Barry shudders when he puts his hand onto his knee, cupping it lightly. “I know that you wouldn’t actually enjoy something like that.”

It is a bit unexpected to realize that the other man would really care about this.

Eobard, who must have notices his surprise, chuckles and squeezes his knee once more, which causes another flash of arousal to flash straight to Barry’s cock. “I’ve told you before, I don’t like to hurt you, Barry, and I should add that I don’t get any joy from making you exceedingly uncomfortable either.”

At a loss of what to reply and slightly overwhelmed by this admission, Barry stays quiet and only stares at the other man for a long moment, before the sensation of his still hard erection causes him to shudder and glance down at his current source of predicament.

“You look ready to burst,” Eobard remarks, who has followed his gaze, and Barry turns back to him, once again a pleading look on his face.

“So I can come now?” he sounds uncertain and reluctant about asking, mostly because he now feels stupid for having felt so at the other man’s mercy. He had to look so ridiculous before…

The right corner of Eobard’s lips twitch slightly and he gives Barry’s knee another squeeze.

“Initially I thought about letting you keep the ring on while I’m fucking you but just looking at your cock is painful.” He nods down to where Barry’s erection is nearly resting against his stomach, still obscenely engorged and dark red.

“Please,” Barry urges and hates how close to whining he sounds, he just want to come and not by taking this stupid cock ring off by himself but by the other man touching him. The thought alone is so damn arousing.

Eobard laughs and turns to him with a smirk and very pleased expression.

“You really are taking half the fun out of this,” he tells him and starts to move his hand a bit up, so that he can caress his thigh. “I wanted you to beg for it but also to put somewhat of a fight up before doing so.”

Barry’s feels his cheek heat up even more and he has to avert his eyes, too embarrassed by his own behaviour to be able and meet Eobard’s.

“There’s no need to feel ashamed about this.” Eobard starts to scratch his thigh lightly as he keeps caressing it. It feels amazing and causes Barry to groan and thrust his hips up in response.

It is so hard to listen to the other man with how desperate he is for finally getting his release, how he needs it so badly that it actually _hurts_. But, even so, Barry can’t help himself but enjoy the slight caress, especially now that he isn’t being utterly overstimulated anymore.

“You’ve been under a lot of stress in the last couple of months, not only regarding your family but also when it comes to learning what it means to be the Flash. That you want to hand off some of your responsibility and let others take control every once in a while doesn’t diminish who you are and what you do.” It is oddly comforting and so very nice to hear Eobard say this. Barry has looked at how easily he tends to bend under the other man at times with contempt as he has always seen it as another sign of weakness and he knows what Joe and the others likely would have to say to this but… it just feels so very right at times.

Putting himself in Eobard’s hands like this could be dangerous but even while everybody of his family and friends tell him that he would stab him in his back one day, he doesn’t really believe it.

The other man has many faults and can be just a plain horrible person at times but Barry also know that he has started to change. The Eobard who intended to use him to get back to his own time would have never apologized to him for any of the awful things he did due to a grudge Barry still doesn’t understand. Back then, he was too much of a self-righteous prick to do so, too full of blinding hate and only ever interested in himself and his own luck.

These days Eobard isn’t that person anymore and while Joe told Barry that there are things that are just unforgivable, he is convinced that it depends on the person who has to grant the forgiveness and let go of past pain and scars.

He know for himself that it really isn’t easy most of the time and that the anger of what Eobard did will probably never completely go away, but he is also aware that the other man is also fighting with this - fighting to allow himself to let go of hate that seems to goes so deeply that he loses himself in it at times.

… a hate that led to a lot of misery but also changes and maybe something could come of this that isn’t just awful and painful to look at.

Despite how different the both of them seem most of the time, Barry thinks that Eobard is the only one who is getting it and the only other person who doesn’t think that this is a just plain stupid and horrible idea.

“Please,” Barry murmurs and reaches for Eobard’s hand on his thigh. “Touch me.”

The other man’s eyes seem to darken at this and his smirk wanes a bit and is replaces by an expression that speaks of lust and desire and need.

Barry hisses and thrusts his hips to meet the hand that has taken hold of his hard cock before he can stop himself.

This feels so good, he needs this – he needs this like the air to _breath_.

“E-Eo,” he utters and grunt in protest when the other man takes hold of his right hip to hold him down.

“No nicknames,” Eobard reminds him but there is a trace of amusement in his voice, even though Barry hardly notices nor really cares about it right now.

“ _Please_ , please _don’t_ stop, let me come, _please_ -”

“Calm down. I won’t stop, I just need to get the cock ring off or this is going nowhere.”

Again, Barry flushes in embarrassment and quietly wishes the ground would open up and swallow him because he doesn’t even want to imagine how wanton and needy he has sounded just now.

“Just keep still for a moment longer,” Eobard tells him and he forces himself to do so, even though the slightest touch to his cock causes him to shudder and he can’t shake off the feeling like his skin is suddenly too small for him, making him restless and uncomfortable.

Then, the damn silicon ring from hell slips off, he can feel its movement all the way along his cock, and he nearly sobs in relief.

“You’ve been really good,” Eobard murmurs and Barry just wants him to finally grab his damn cock and get him off. “You think you deserve a little treat for it?”

“Yes,” he whimpers and tries to thrust his hips up, towards the other man. “Yes, _please, yes_!”

Eobard chuckles, a low rumble in his chest and Barry is going to get crazy if he doesn’t–

The palm and fingers that are firmly closing around his pulsing erection are warm and dry and Barry isn’t able to breathe all of a sudden but couldn’t care less because this feeling is so very perfect. It makes his skin tingle and his toes curl up and he just loves it, he loves it so much.

It doesn’t take much, not even two whole firm strokes before Barry cries out as a wave of pleasure, heat and pure bliss crashes down on him – the late hour and his neighbours be damned – and then he is vibrating again, unable to keep himself from doing so, and it doesn’t matter because he is bathed in light and warmth and everything is just so, so good right now and he wishes it would never stop…

Barry isn’t sure how long his orgasm keeps wrecking his body, it feels like and eternity and he isn’t sure whether it is due to his connection to the speed force and him accidently connecting to it again or whether it is just because this seems to be the most intense climax he’s ever had, but when it finally starts to subside after what feels like _minutes_ , he feel exhausted, utterly spent, and so very sated.

His body is still vibrating lightly as he lays there, panting and with his eyes closed, and it feels a bit like a pleasant after-glow, that leaves his nerves tingling.

Eobard is still holding his cock, which is still stiff but also overly sensitive now, and Barry is grateful that he doesn’t do anything else than keep it in a tentative grip because he knows that any further stimulation would hurt like hell. It is still nice to have him this close, though, especially in such an intimate way at the same time.

His vision is slightly blurred when he opens his eyes again after he has regained some of his breathe and it is then that he realizes that he must have been crying. He quickly rubs a hand over his eyes, enjoying how loose and warm the muscles of his arms feels as he moves it, before he dares to look down to where Eobard is still sitting next to him.

The other man is watching him attentively but Barry feels too tired to feel embarrassed about anything right now.

“That was fucking amazing,” he mumbles and smiles when Eobard chuckles in response.

“Yes, I got the impression you’ve enjoyed it quite a bit,” agrees the other man and Barry hums softly when he starts to rub his thigh again. There is nothing arousing to the caress anymore, instead it’s relaxing and calming…

“Are you falling asleep on me?”

Barry shudders when Eobard gives his cock a slight squeeze, not painfully so but it’s still sensitive enough that even a slight brush with one’s fingertips would be enough to cause him some discomfort.

“… no,” he protests groggily. “Just taking a breather.”

“A breather,” Eobard replies and the disbelief is plain in his voice but instead of annoyed he sounds only amused and… fond?

“I initially intended for you to do the a _dho mukha svanasana_ while I take you,” he goes on and Barry shudders at that notion in both excitement and worry as he likes the notion but feels too exhausted to do such a thing right now. The hours of lost sleep and the constant worry seems to have finally caught up with him and Eobard seems to have realized this too. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to try this now, though. You would probably land on your face halfway through.”

“We can do it another time?” Barry offers before realizing what he has just said, which causes him to blush hotly once more.

“So you’d like to have some more crazy yoga sex with me?” asks Eobard with a smile that is both amused and pleased.

“… maybe?” he offers somewhat hesitant and keeps looking at the comforter at his couch again, because he feels too embarrassed to meet Eobard’s gaze. He shudders when the other man gives his cock another slight squeeze before letting is rest back against his abdomen.

“Good, I’d like that.” Eobard moves up, so that he can put one hand onto Barry’s chest while he cups his neck with the other one and pulls him slightly up. Their eyes meet and for a long moment they just watch each other, the room around them once more quiet.

“We could move to the bedroom and…” Barry blushes deepens and glances to the side again. “We could take care of you there.”

“You sure you still feel up to it?”

Eobard is so close again, close enough that Barry feels his warm breath on the crook of his neck and he jumps slightly when the other man presses a light kiss onto his skin there, just above where his workout t-shirt ends.

“I don’t exactly like the notion of you falling asleep on me while we’re having sex.”

Barry smiles and turns his head to press his lips onto the top of Eobard’s head.

“Doubt that this is likely to happen,” he murmurs and shudders when the hand on his chest slides to a bit the side before his right nipple is lightly pinched. While not painful, it is still intense and Barry throws his head back and groans as a familiar arousal starts to stir in his loins again.

Without the speed force there would be no way for him being up for another round already after such an intense orgasm but his body reacts to Eobard like on its own, which leaves him hot and wanting.

“I will take good care of you, then.” Eobard pulls back and looks down at him with once again visible lust in his eyes. There is something warmer not to it, though, an emotion Barry doesn’t really dare to look at too closely just now because he’s afraid of getting disappointed again, despite how much his heart arches for it to be not just his imagination.

The following kiss is slow and sweet, very different to how it has been before, but the other man is still somehow able to make it feel possessive despite of that.

Barry doesn’t mind, he opens his mouth willingly and just enjoys having him this close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!
> 
> I’m not sure whether next chapter will be about what happens in the bedroom after this one has ended or whether it will be something else (not another part of yogsr).
> 
> Anyway, feel free to let me know what you think, I always enjoy every single comment I get from you. :)
> 
> Till next time!


	6. Mending Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry has an unexpected visitor pass by for Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe that it has been four months since my last entry to this story. Time is flying by like crazy! XD
> 
> I honestly kind of forgot about it there for a while with everything else going on, and this is a pity, because I’ve some nice little ideas for it. Thanks to the lovely Nicole_Moon, btw, as she reminded me of getting back to it.
> 
> I hope you’ll enjoy this new chapter!
> 
> And, as usual, this story is not edited.

Barry whines softly, lifting his hips a bit more so that Eobard’s thrusts could go deeper while he keeps urging his partner on with soft moans and pleas.

It feels amazing, even his still drowsy mind can’t help but notice how good the other man is at giving him pleasure, at satisfying his needs.

He groans when Eobard changes his rhythm, catching him off-guard for a second, but he feels too caught up by how it feels to really care about the other man teasing him or about his amused chuckle.

“You’re quite wanton this afternoon.” Eobard has leaned down to speak, causing his hot breath to hit Barry’s ear and draw another moan from him. He turns his head, glancing back at the other man and meeting his eyes that watch him with a mixture of smugness and fondness.

“You woke me by assaulting me,” Barry points out and smiles.

“Assaulting?” Eobard smirks and stills, causing Barry to grunt in protest. “Does that mean that you want me to stop?”

“Don’t be an ass,” he huffs and shudders when Eobard nips at his shoulder in return.

“Not the wisest decision to insult me right now, Mr. Allen.”

Barry groans and buries his face in his pillow, muffling some insult into the soft cloth.

“You don’t agree?” Eobard asks and sounds way too controlled for what they are currently doing.

“Always, _Mr. Thawne_ ,” Barry quips and grins when he feels the other man smile against his shoulder.

It is already dark outside, which means that it is probably already after four, and Barry’s nap has gone on for much longer than he intended to. Not that it is easy to say what exact time it is with how bad the weather is right now. The Twins are currently buried under a four-inch blanket of snow thanks to the ongoing snowfall that has started last week and doesn’t seem to intend to stop anytime soon.

Barry doesn’t mind. He likes snow, especially around this time of the year, especially _today_.

Though, running has become kind of an ordeal thanks to it, and while Eobard has way less problems to keep his footing at the slippery grounds, even he tripped up a couple of times so far.

Barry shudders and moans softly when he feels the other man’s hand move between his legs, taking a loose hold of his cock before he starts to pump it slowly.

“Please,” he utters, pushing himself back against the hard erection that is still buried deep inside him. “Please move.”

“After you’ve insulted me?” Eobard asks with an audible smirk in his voice.

“Eo,” he whines and jumps slightly when the other man tightens his grip around his cock, not enough for it to become uncomfortable but it is close.

“You’re not helping your case,” Eobard remarks but his anger is so clearly fake that Barry has to smile again.

“I’m sorry,” he relents and glances back to his partner to meet his eyes. “You’re the greatest, oh mighty Eobard Thawne. A _godsend_. The achievement of perfection, the window to my wall, you are the Oscar to my Wild, you are hanky to my pank-”

Barry breaks off when Eobard thrusts into him once. Hard.

He makes a sound that is a mixture of a snort and a groan, and grins up to the other man, who scowls down at him with a faint but very much present glint of amusement in his eyes.

“You’re quite insolent today,” Eobard tells him and nips on his shoulder once more before he sits back up.

“You wanna teach me a lesson?” Barry asks and wiggles his eyebrows which causes the other speedster to laugh outright.

“Maybe waking you wasn’t the best idea after all.” Eobard suddenly pulls out of him which catches him completely off-guard.

“What…” Barry gives the other man a confused and slightly worried look as he turns onto his back before sitting up. “Why did you stop?” He feels a mixture of anger and depression return to him, the two emotions that have been clinging to him for weeks now, but before they can really dig their claws back into his chest, Eobard is suddenly kneeing between his legs and stealing a brief kiss from him.

“My performance doesn’t seem to satisfy you tonight,” the other man points out with a smirk that makes it obvious that he is still in a good mood. “Why don’t you show me what pace you’d like? I think to remember that you do like the _cowgirl_ position.”

Barry feels his cheeks grow hot, slightly embarrassed by Eobard calling it this but at the same time also surprised that he would offer it in the first place. He wonders how depressed he must have appeared today for the other man actually considering this as a mean to lift his spirit.

Eobard is right, Barry liked the two times he has been on top so far, the only problem was that Eobard himself didn’t really care for it. The other speedster doesn’t like to not be the one in control, after all. Well, not that he is ever not really in control.

“Is that your Christmas present to me?” he asks slightly suspicious, only half joking, and watches how the other man snorts and shoots him a look that tells him that he is being an imbecile again.

“If that were the case, you wouldn’t get it before tomorrow morning,” Eobard remarks drily.

Barry cracks a small smile at that, suddenly oddly touched by this unusual offer. He nods and moves over to let Eobard lay down in his place before positioning himself over him, quite aware of how aroused both of them are.

He is already well prepared so that he doesn’t really hesitate and instead reaches for the other man’s hard cock to position it in a way that makes it easy for him to lower himself down on it.

The feeling of being stretches is as nice and familiar as always but still slightly different due to the unusual angle. Barry, groans softly, closes his eyes and slides slowly down on the cock that is soon filling him.

Eobard keeps still and doesn’t urge him. He waits patiently, only grunting slightly when Barry has him finally engulfed him completely.

“Oh…” Barry lays his head back, concentrating on the feeling of them being so close to the other man, so connected.

He shudders slightly when hands cup the outside of this thighs before Eobard starts to rub them.

“You really like my cock, don’t you?” the other man asks with some audible smugness, causing Barry to chuckle and look back to him.

“Among other things,” he agrees and feels his eyelids drop when Eobard’s finger briefly ghost over his erection.

“Like my superior intellect?” the other man quips, and Barry isn’t sure why but not knowing whether Eobard actually is serious about this or not makes this question quite amusing.

“Like all of you,” he murmurs and lifts himself up a bit before slowly sliding back down.

Eobard hums, using the sudden distraction between his legs as a possibility to not actually reply.

They both know how he is still not really willing to face what there is between them, the connection next to their physical attraction.

He has gotten better, though. A lot.

Barry moans softly as he starts a slow but even pace, enjoying the small sparks of pleasure that fill his lower belly every time Eobard’s erection slides against his prostate.

This is much better than he has expected today to end. After the awkward conversation he had with Joe at the precinct yesterday, and being reminded that things between him and the others are still far from alright, he has been miserable for the rest of the day and all of today so far.

Spending Christmas away from home, from his family, is awful. It has been awful last year as well, but back then he has been mostly just angry, too upset with them, Eobard, and himself, to really realizes how much this hurt.

Barry speeds up a bit, still keeping a relative slow pace, but enough so that the sparks in his lower abdomen start to grow more intense, causing him to moan every time he moves back down again.

“For how impatient you were before, you don’t seem that much in a hurry anymore,” Eobard remarks, voice deep and pleasant, like dark, cool velvet. Barry shudders and opens his eyes to meet his amused gaze. He doesn’t miss how relaxed and unusually content Eobard looks.

“Are you complaining?” Barry asks, sounding slightly out of breath, and aches an eyebrow.

“Not yet.” The other man watches him with an amused smirk and starts to let his hands wander lightly over his thighs and upper body, the touch feather-light.

Barry groans softly and lets his head drop back again, shuddering when Eobard’s fingers start to circle his right nipple before pinching it lightly. He whines softly in return, enjoying the slight pain and picks his tempo up a bit-

The sound of the door buzzer cuts through the air and causes Barry to freeze. Eobard grunts in audible displeasure and shoots a withering glare towards the slightly ajar bedroom door.

“Ignore it,” he more orders than tells Barry, who gives him a slightly annoyed look in return and hesitates for a second longer before he does indeed turn his attention back to the other man.

It’s probably not even five, but even so there isn’t really anybody Barry can think of who would pass by at his apartment other than Mrs. Navarro, his seventy-something next-door neighbor who is a really nice elderly woman but who also tends to stick around for hours on end once he let her into his apartment. Usually this isn’t a problem, he knows that she doesn’t really have any family left that doesn’t live like two flight-hours away and that she is lonely, but right now it is the worst possible timing. He would just go over to her afterwards and see whether she needs something or just wants some company.

Pushing the notion of his neighbor out of his mind isn’t hard, especially when Eobard starts to scratch his thighs lightly, causing his arousal to jump and-

… the buzzer again.

Barry frowns and stops once more as he turns his head slightly to look towards the bedroom entrance.

“Don’t even think about it,” Eobard tells him in a warning tone and tightens his grip on his thighs as if to keep him in place by force if necessary.

“Mrs. Navarro-”

“The old bat can share her eggnog with any of the other residents of this floor,” Eobard cuts him off, meeting his annoyed frown firmly.

“Don’t call her that.” Barry huffs. “She is a nice elder woman, and for some reason she actually even likes you.”

“She is a clingy old-”

“You like her too.”

“I do _not_ ,” Eobard protests with a glare which causes Barry to snort and roll his eyes.

“You do too,” he disagrees as he pushes his partners hands off his legs and climbs off him. This gets a frustrated grunt from the other man, but he ignores him and quickly puts his comfy pants and shirt on he generally tends to wear when he stays home on his days off.

“You damn brat,” Eobard grouses as he too gets up. Barry ignores him.

“Stay in bed, I’ll just see what she wants and tell her that now isn’t the best time.”

“Tell her to get herself a damn cat for Christmas.”

“Or maybe I’ll just ask her to stay over to watch a holiday movie or two.”

“You do that, and I _will_ kick your ass.”

Barry turns around at the doorway, shooting Eobard, who is looking pissed and moody, an amused smirk. “Yeah? Let’s just hope you do a better job than last time when it comes to catching me, then.”

“That was an odd one out.” Eobard waves him off with a scoff before he nods to the door. “Just get rid of the old bat and come back. You’re stretching my patience here.”

“About as charming as the damn Grinch,” Barry mutters as he leaves the room and makes his way over to the entrance. Thankfully, thinking about facing his elderly neighbor does wonders when it comes to his arousal, and when he reaches his entrance door, he doesn’t have to worry about embarrassing himself anymore.

“Sorry about the wait,” he says in lieu of a greeting as he pulls the door open after unlocking it. “You just caught me-”

He breaks off and freezes when his gaze falls upon the person in front of him.

An uncomfortably silence stretches out for a long moment.

“Hey, Barry.” Henry gives him an uncertain smile, looking about as uneasy as Barry feels.

“H-hey,” he utters, not sure what else to say.

Or do.

Or how to react at all.

He hasn’t seen or really spoken to his dad in nearly over half a year by now. Not since he found out about Eobard…

Another silence settles between them, about as thick and nearly painfully tensed as the one before.

Barry swallows, feeling caught off-guard and confused.

He hasn’t even known that his father was back in the city. The last thing he heard from Joe was that his father is somewhere in Florida, but that has been about two months ago…

“I hope I’m not interrupting you with something important,” the older man says, looking ill at ease as he shifts his weight from one foot the other.

The ridiculous urge to laugh bubbles up in Barry’s chest, but he stomps down on it, feeling slightly panicked, embarrassed, and sad all at the same time.

“No.” He shakes his head, forcing himself to stay calm. “You want to come in?”

His throat hurts, there is a lump in it that makes talking difficult, and he hopes it isn’t as plain to hear in his voice as he thinks it is.

“Yes,” his dad looks still uncertain but nods. “If you’ve time.”

“Sure.” Barry steps aside, noticing how his body suddenly feels heavy, as if his limbs have been replaced by solid lead.

His father gives him a tight smile that doesn’t really reach his eyes and enters.

Barry closes the door behind him, listening to the soft _Clack_ , which is when he remembers that Eobard is still in his bedroom.

His stomach drops, and he nearly grows sick.

He prays that the other man would stay back, he doesn’t doubt that Eobard has probably already checked up on who interrupted them, but Barry can’t make him out anywhere in the living room, so he dares to take this as a good sign.

The notion of his dad and Eobard coming face to face is enough to make him feels slightly light-headed. His dad reacted understandably bad enough when he learned about his relationship with his own mother’s murderer without having ever met the man before. Well, other than for the time where he still pretended to be Dr. Wells…

“You…” Barry coughs lightly when his voice breaks off and licks his lips before he goes on. “You want something to drink?”

His father, who has come to a stop next to the couch in his living room and is currently eyeing his surroundings somewhat curiously, turns back to him and nods.

“Coke or water?” Barry asks, fidgeting nervously. “I don’t have much else around, but I could make you some coffee if you want to. It would be instant coffee, though. I don’t have a coffee maker, I-” He forces himself to stop, knowing damn well how he would likely start to babble again if he gave himself the possibility to.

“Water is fine,” his dad says with a smile that looks so forced that Barry feels the lump in his throat grow.

“’kay, good,” he agrees and swiftly makes his way towards the kitchen but stops at the doorway and turns back to his father. “Just make yourself at home.”

He regrets the words the moment they’ve left his mouth and quickly hurries on to the kitchen before he would lose it in front of him.

His hands are shaking when he grabs one of the glasses from the cabinet, and he has to pause a moment to concentrate on calming his breathing and keep his composure.

His dad is here.

The notion should fill him with joy and hope, but he only feels a sickening guilt instead.

Someone is suddenly next to him, and he doesn’t need to look to know that it is Eobard.

Barry rubs his eyes, takes a shaking breath, and shudders when the other man steps closer. Without thinking, he leans towards him, just for a moment, just to get some comfort, and the burning behind his closed eyelids grows even worse when Eobard lays an arm around his back and pulls him closer.

Neither of them speaks, they just stay like this for a short while, long enough for Barry to fight against the urge to cry, and when he finally pulls back, he is surprised and a bit touched to see that Eobard has grabbed him one of the bottles of water from the fridge.

Barry doesn’t want to leave the kitchen, the ridiculous notion of just staying in here forever and hide from his own father crosses his mind, and he feels like crying all over again.

He accepts the bottle instead but can’t bring himself to meet Eobard’s eyes. He grabs the glass from the counter and makes his way back to the living room.

At the doorway, he stops again.

His father is sitting at the couch, slightly hunched forward with his arms resting on his knees and his face in his hands. He looks oddly still, more like a statue than an actual person, and Barry feels so, so bad and horrible for causing this man so much grief. So much more grief then he already has had to begin with.

He forces himself to go on, coughing lightly as he enters to let his father know that he is back.

His dad straightens up, brushing a hand over his eyes as inconspicuous as possible, but Barry still picks up on it, and turns to face him with another smile that looks not real.

“I’ve got you the water,” he explains, feeling stupid for pointing the obvious out but being afraid of the uneasy silence to return. He hands his dad the bottle and the glass, before he steps back, not really certain what to do now.

“Thanks.” His dad gives him a nod and another faint smile that doesn’t reach his still somewhat glassy eyes.

Then, another silence settles between them, and Barry awkwardly stands next to the couch, unable to come up with anything to do or to say.

“You know, I think this couch is big enough for more than one person,” his father points out and pats at the spot next to him, sounding forcefully light.

“Y-yes,” Barry stutters, both uneasy and a bit taken-aback by the offer.

After the last seven months, he hasn’t expected that his father would want him anywhere near him.

The thought hurts, and it is with some difficulty that he swallows around the lump in his throat as he takes a seat next to the older man, careful to leave as much space between them as possible.

“Have you re-painted your living room?”

The question is not what Barry has expected, but he is still grateful that his father gives them something to talk about, something to forces this awful silence away.

“Yes, about two months ago.”

He needed some change back then, he has felt so damn restless and strung up, and he just needed to do something with his hands. Eobard doesn’t like his choice of color, the light beige instead of the cool white, but Barry really can’t bring himself to care. Introducing something a bit warmer in his home has been a good idea, even if it was just the color of his walls.

“It’s nice,” his dad remarks as he lets his eyes sweep through the living room once again.

“Thanks.” Barry feels the urge to move, it is so strong that it is nearly painful, and he wishes he has grabbed himself a bottle of water as well, just so he had something in his hands.

“You’re doing yoga?” His dad sounds amused as he asks this, and Barry feels his cheeks heat up when he follows his nod to where his purple yoga mat is resting in the corner next to the window.

“Y-yes,” he utters and looks about anywhere but his father. “It’s relaxing…”

Henry hums, before he finally opens his bottle and takes a sip.

For a minute or so they are both quiet, and just as the uneasiness that is accompanying the silence grows too much, he notices that his dad is watching him again.

“I talked to Joe,” he says, and Barry swallows, unwilling to let the hurt these words cause close to him right now. “He told me you did a really great job at one of your last cases, that the Captain was really impressed.”

He isn’t sure what to think of that, mostly because he is still uncertain how to deal with the fact that Joe and his dad kept in contact, talking about him instead _with_ him.

“I didn’t do anything special,” he disagrees quietly, looking at the magazine he bought yesterday on his way home from work and that is still resting at the coffee table in front of him.

The cases have started to run into one another a while ago, Barry is just too busy, both with work and then the Flash-stuff afterwards. He remembers Captain Signs actually telling him once that he did a good job a little bit ago, but he hasn’t really thought too much of it. Work is nothing he is looking forward to anymore these days, and he is always glad when it’s over and he can just go home.

“You helped them to get a murderer behind bars,” his father disagrees. “I think that is pretty special.”

Barry presses his lips together and nods curtly, not feeling comfortable with talking about his work right now.

“How have you been,” he asks instead and turns his gaze back to his dad. “You went to Florida?”

His dad frowns but nods. “Yes, I was there about the last two months.” He seems to hesitate for a moment before he goes on. “It was nice enough. Lots of sunshine, beaches, and heat.”

Barry smiles. “Yeah, I can imagine.”

He has never been to Florida before, and now that he is thinking about it, it seems nearly odd. He could be there in about an hour, probably less. The last time he run over to Star City, he needed hardly ten minutes to get there. Nowadays it would be probably even less, but it is hard to say without actually trying, and he hasn’t been there for a while now…

“When have you come back?” he asks and forces the thought of Star City, Ollie, and the others away from him, back into the corner of his mind he hardly dares to look at anymore.

His father hesitates again, and Barry feels really tired all of a sudden.

“Last Thursday.”

About a week ago.

Barry tries to tell himself that he has no right to feel hurt. This shouldn’t even come as a surprise, his dad hardly let him know before leaving the city in the first place, after all. If he hadn’t turned up on his doorstep back then, Barry isn’t sure whether he would have even let him know about his departure beforehand. Joe would probably have told him in that case. It is usually Joe he gets any information from when it comes to his own dad these days.

“Oh,” he says, looking back to the coffee table. “You’re here for the holidays?”

Another pause.

“Yes,” Henry agrees, and Barry can feel his gaze on himself but can’t bring himself to meet it. “I’m meeting up with some people I’ve met on my way to Florida in about two weeks. They work for a help organization that helps countries in South America by sending volunteer doctors.”

“That’s great,” Barry says and tries to smile.

It is great, it really is. His dad is going to help a lot of people, it makes him proud, and he knows that his father likes his work and that it will make him happy, which in turn makes him happy.

… or it should.

His chest feels like something is trying to crawl its way out of it, though. It hurts because he knows that he must be the reason that his father wants to stay away from Central City so badly. He wonders whether his father would also have left otherwise, should he have never started a relationship with Eobard.

He doesn’t think so.

He doesn’t hope so, at least…

After all these years, after wanting him free and be part of his life again for so long, Barry starts to realize that he will likely never get him back. Not really, no matter what.

And contrary to before, it is not due to some crime that has been pinned on him. It’s not due to him being locked behind prison bars but because of what a _miserable_ person his son is…

“Barry…”

“It’s great,” he repeats, nearly forcefully, not wanting to hear the regretful tone in his father’s voice. He stumbles onto his feet and away from his dad. “It’s great, you’ll help a lot of people. You’ll be doing what you love.”

Barry can’t get himself to look at him, he feels confused, angry, ashamed, betrayed, and so very sad. This is all his fault, he drove his dad away, he drove Iris and Joe away, he drove anybody who meant anything away because he is so _sick and twisted_.

He shivers and rubs his hand over his eyes, feeling slightly nauseous.

“You’ll be happy,” he says, voice hoarse now, and he wishes he hasn’t opened the door. He wishes that Eobard has never destroyed his or his family’s life, that whatever happened between the other Barry Allen and Eobard never happened, that his fate wasn’t such a bad joke. A part of him, a small one he doesn’t want to recognize to even be there, also wishes that he has never met Eobard to begin with…

Why couldn’t he be like the Barry Allen Eobard told him so much about. The hero, the person who didn’t mess everything up and hurt his loved ones this horribly…

“Barry.” His father has gotten up and is walking over to him, sounding worried. “This is just a program that will last about nine months, not something permanent.”

Barry nods, not sure why he would tell him so. It isn’t as if it matters how long his dad will be in South America before he moves on to somewhere else.

His father steps closer, around him, so that he can face him, but Barry keeps his head low, eyes itching as he studies the floor.

“Slugger.” A warm hand cups his neck, and he shivers again, surprised by both the contact and the use of his nickname. Despite not really wanting to, he reluctantly lifts his gaze to meet his father’s.

“Barry,” Henry says, sounding grave and weary at the same time as he studies him with sad, regretful eyes. “I’m sorry for-”

“No,” Barry cuts him off sharply and steps back, away from the contact. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong!” He feels angry, it catches him so unprepared that he feels slightly disorientated for a second before he can shake the uncomfortable sensation off again. “This isn’t your fault! It’s mine!”

He balls his fists and grits his teeth, feeling full of raw, white-hot energy once again that nearly seems to crackle beneath his skin.

“I ruined everything! Nobody of you can even really look at me anymore!”

It hurts, saying it out loud, really facing the consequences of his decisions.

“That’s not true,” his father disagrees, but Barry stubbornly shakes his head, gritting his teeth as he thinks of his last talk with Joe, how uneasy both of them have been, how neither of them seemed to know what to say to each other anymore. It’s the same with Iris, he hasn’t really spoken to her in a long time, not that he really wants to anymore anyway. He hates seeing the silent reproach, even when she never says so directly to him…

She was his best friend, he loved her. He still loves her… all of them. They were his family, and he pushed them away.

“He killed mom,” Barry grits out through clenched teeth while presses the balls of his hands against his temples so hard for a moment that it hurts. “He killed mom and… and I…” A stifled sob forces its way out of him, and he hugs himself while he turns his back to his father again, his eyes squeezes shut.

“I love him…” His voice is small, broken, and he hates himself so much right now. “I’m sick…”

Hands grab his shoulders before he is pulled into a tight embrace, tensing up in surprise and confusion as he hears his dad make a soothing sound, similar to how he used to when Barry was just a small boy and got upset over one thing or another.

“Barry.” His dad sounds sad, sorrowful. “Slugger, you can’t think that of yourself, you’re not sick.”

“I _am_ ,” he insists stubbornly in a broken voice before he sobs against his father’s shoulders and returns the embrace fiercely, clinging to him like a lifeline. “I’m sick, an awful person…” Another sob cuts him off, and he buries his face in the crook of the other man’s neck, hoping that this would prevent him from breaking into thousand pieces.

“You’re not an awful person,” his dad disagrees and starts to rub his back soothingly. “You’re a wonderful and brilliant young man, one with a heart too big for his own good.”

Barry shakes his head against his father’s shoulder, digging his fingers probably painfully in his back, and tries to protest but he cries too hard to get anything intelligible out.

“You’re a good person,” his father goes on, sounding so certain. “You hold other people’s lives in high value, and you want to help them if you can, even if it means that you put yourself in danger. That is not something someone awful would do.”

“D-Dad,” he utters and wishes he could make him understand that he never wanted to hurt him, none of them. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“I know,” his dad says and gives his neck a squeeze. “Me too. I shouldn’t have reacted like this.”

Barry squeezes his eyes shut and wishes once again that things wouldn’t have ended in a way that left everybody involved hurt.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats again, still crying. “I didn’t want to hurt you or anybody else.”

“I know, Barry.” His father presses his cheek against the top of his head and exhales slowly. “And I’m sorry for how things were over the last couple of months. I know that I hurt you, and I feel really horrible for it.”

His father tightens his embrace a bit before he starts to rub Barry’s back again soothingly.

“I hurt you too,” Barry reminds him dejectedly, all too aware of how the revelation of his relationship to Eobard had to have shocked and hurt his dad.

“You did not intend to do so,” his father points out and pulls a bit back, so that he can meet Barry’s eyes. “I meant what I’ve said before. You are a wonderful person who is able to see the good in people, even if everybody else has already given up on them, and you have the strength to forgive others for things hardly anybody else would be able to. I won’t hold this against you, I can’t. You are my son, and I love you.”

He sighs and averts his eyes for a moment, frowning at the wall behind Barry. His expression is a bit grim and slightly pained when he turns back to him.

“I’ll always love you, never doubt that even for a moment. I won’t ask you to stop being with… that man. He obviously means a lot to you, and I’ll respect that. I can’t face him, though. I don’t mean to hurt you, Barry, I really don’t, but I can’t meet him.” There is sadness and anger in his father’s eyes as he says this.

“I understand,” Barry croaks, sniffing a bit and pulling a hand back to rub his eyes. “I never meant to hurt you either, dad. I know that this… that it is messed up, and that it makes everything so much more complicated, but I don’t expect you to interact with… him. I never have, I know how much this hurts you…” His voice breaks slightly and swallows around the still painfully present lump in his throat.

His father moves his hand up and squeezes his shoulder in a comforting way. “You have your mother’s heart. You remind me so much of her at times.”

Barry freezes briefly and watches his dad in surprise, who gives him a warm but sad smile.

“I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me, and I know that I’ve reacted really awfully to all of this, Bar. I didn’t come here to say good-bye or anything like that. I’ve needed some space to think but all that time away made me realize how much a really important part of my life is still back in Central City,” his father explains and gives his shoulder another light squeeze. “I’ve missed you, Slugger. Not knowing how you’re really doing or talking to you was an awful experience, and I’m not willing to let anything come between us like this again. You are my child, and while I don’t like or really understand your choice of a partner, it won’t change anything about the fact that I love you.”

Hearing this, hearing his dad tell him this is like a weight is lifted from his chest and breathing suddenly seems to become easier again.

“Thank you.” His voice is trembling a bit and wishes he could express how much this really means to him. The last half year, hell, the last year has been daunting and exhausting on him, the ongoing tension between him and his friends and family has gnawed on him enough that he started to pull back from all of them. He tried to tell himself that he is alright with it, that he could live like that and still be happy, but even in his most optimistic moments he secretly knew that it was a lie.

Barry misses them all and having at least his father back is like the most wonderful gift he could have asked for.

It seems that Christmas’ miracles are really happening at times.

He pulls his dad into another embrace, who relents easily.

“I’m sorry for appearing on your doorstep without a warning,” Henry tells him as they finally step apart and there is a relieved expression on his face that makes something in Barry uncurl even further.

“It’s fine,” he assures him and tries not to think of Eobard who is most likely still around watching. He isn’t sure how the other speedster is going to react to what has just happened and what he must have heard.

“I wanted to pass by earlier.” Something sad settlings over his dad’s face again, and Barry understands that he feels guilty for not having done so. It doesn’t matter much to him, though, he is just glad that he did decided to do so at all.

“I missed you too,” Barry says quietly.

His father gives him a grateful smile before he coughs lightly. “I probably took up enough of your time-”

“No,” Barry disagrees quickly. “I’m glad you came by.”

Henry chuckles softly but shakes his head. “Me too, slugger, but I’m sure you’ve probably already some plans.”

Somehow, this causes Barry to feel a bit uneasy as he wonders whether his father suspects that Eobard is around. Then again, they did have a very close relationship for all of his life, no matter the circumstances, and there is probably hardly anybody else who knows him as well has his dad does.

“I don’t know whether you’ve time,” Henry goes on, “but Iris wants to have a Christmas brunch tomorrow she invited me too, and she asked me to extend the invitation to you as well.”

This catches Barry by surprise and he can’t help but think back to how tense things are between him, Joe, Iris, and all the rest.

“It would mean a lot to her,” his father says and adds when he notices his doubtful look. “I think the last year has been hard on a lot of us, and we all have done things we aren’t really proud of and regret.”

“I don’t know whether they’d really want to have me there.” He lowers his gaze and studies the floor with an unhappy frown. A part of him really wants to accept, join his dad over at the West’s home and celebrate with them like in the past before they started to drift apart, but another part of him very much doubts that such a thing is still possible.

The big, warm hand of his dad cups his neck then, and he lifts his eyes somewhat reluctantly to meet his gaze.

“Barry, Iris and Joe love you,” Henry tells him earnestly. “You are as much of a family to them as they are to each other. I know that things have been difficult between you, but that doesn’t change that you grew up with them.”

Barry blinks, unwilling to start to crying again, and tries not to let himself hope too much.

He misses them. His dad is right, they’ve become a second family to him over the years and having so much tension and hurt feelings between them has done nothing but make him miserable.

“Okay,” he agrees quietly and notices that his father seems honestly glad that he came to his decision.

He pulls Barry close for another brief hug.

“We love you, Slugger,” Henry tells him quietly, and Barry sniffles. He buries his face in the crook of his father’s neck for another moment, just glad to have him there, before they break apart again.

“I should go now.” His dad looks less tense, not exactly relaxed but the haunted expression from before is finally gone from his face.

Barry doesn’t want him to leave, he hasn’t seen him in so long after all.

Even so, he knows that it is probably better for his father to go. Eobard is still here, Barry can feel him, the familiar tingling sensation at the back of his mind that is always present whenever the other speedster is close to him, and he isn’t sure in what mood he is in right now. Barry doesn’t doubt that he has been listening in to their conversation. Eobard is still pretty lacking when it comes to respect other people’s privacy.

“Thank you for passing by,” Barry says. “I’m glad that you’re alright and…” He bites his lower lip for a moment, uncertain whether he should go on or not but decides to do so in the end. “I’m really grateful that we’re okay again.”

It is meant as a statement but comes out more as a question, and a familiar unhappy and slightly haunted expression returns on his dad’s face which causes Barry to feel bad all over again.

“We are okay,” Henry agrees, looking sad again. “And I’m sorry, Barry. I really am.”

“It’s okay,” Barry replies and quickly adds when his father is about to protest. “I’m just glad to have you back.”

This causes his dad to smile as he nods in agreement. “Me too.”

Henry is gone not too long afterwards, after having Barry promise him once more that he would join them at the West household the next day for brunch even though a small part of him is still a bit skeptical about how welcome he would really be there.

The door has hardly shut when he feels a familiar presence behind him, and he suddenly dreads the upcoming conversation with Eobard and the likely resulting confrontation with him.

“I’m sorry,” Barry speaks quietly, still facing the door and his hand still on its handle. He sighs softly and lets himself lean forward so that his forehead is resting against the cool wood as he closes his eyes.

An uncomfortable silence follows over them for a long moment.

“You shouldn’t have to hear this,” he finally goes on when the tension between them starts to get to him. “I-”

Eobard is suddenly much closer, enough so that his chest is pressed against Barry’s back, catching him off-guard. He tenses up and tries to brace himself for whatever the other man’s reaction to what has just been said is going to be.

The thought that they haven’t physically fought in a long while crosses Barry’s mind then, and it is a saddening notion that they could fall back to that. He doesn’t want to hurt Eobard or be hurt by him, he _never_ got any joy or satisfaction from it…

“You were upset,” Eobard cuts him off, sounding surprisingly calm, and rests his hands onto his hips. “I’m not an idiot, Barry. I’m aware of what our relationship means to you.”

Barry frowns and moves his head so that he could look back over his shoulder to the other man. “That’s not-”

“You’re a good person.” The other speedster meets his eyes firmly, a grim but somewhat exhausted expression on his face. “You live to help others, to better the world and rid them of people like me. Being in a relationship with me is probably the worst thing that could have happened to you.”

It is hard to come up with something to say to that. On one hand Barry doesn’t want Eobard to believe that, but on the other he has thought so too a number of times already.

He sighs softly and nudges Eobard with his elbow to step back. The other man does so without protest, and Barry turns around so that he is facing him.

“I wasn’t always happy with how things turned out,” he agrees slowly which causes Eobard to scoff, but he presses on before the other man could interject again. “This doesn’t mean that things haven’t changed or that you haven’t changed.”

“I have?” Eobard asks with a sneer, and Barry fights the urge to roll his eyes and instead frowns up at him. “You have. You’re way less of a jackass for once.”

This actually causes Eobard to snort. “I doubt that, you probably just evolved a desensitization towards me.”

“So you agree that you’ve been a jackass?” Barry’s grin only grows when the other man gives him the evil eye for it.

“I’m still the man who killed your mother,” Eobard points out, then. “That hasn’t changed.”

The words hang heavy between them for a long moment, and Barry can’t help but feel that they’ve successfully distanced them once more despite how close they are currently standing to each other.

“You really think I could forget that?” he asks tiredly.

“Exactly.” Eobard gives him a grim smile, and Barry isn’t sure how to reply. His partner doesn’t seem to expect him to anyway, though, as he goes on. “I’ll always be that man, no matter how much times goes by. I’ll be the murderer of an innocent woman, your mother, for the rest of our lives. Do you really thing that the guilt over being with me will ever lessen for you?”

Barry lets himself lean back against the door and reaches up to rub his eyes.

After his dad’s visit and how unexpectedly well it turned out, he has felt relieved and happy. Now the feeling of contentment starts to slip away again and is replaced by a much more sobering emotion.

“I don’t know,” he finally admits somewhat reluctantly. “But I’ve started to come to term with it.” The other man scoffs again but Barry ignores him. “I know that I’m causing my family a lot of pain with this decision, and I regret that it has to be this way, but…” He meets Eobard’s eyes with a hesitant smile. “I don’t regret that I’ve actually fallen in love with you. Not anymore.”

Eobard bristles at these words and actually appears like someone has just emptied a bucket of ice-water over his head.

Barry chuckles quietly and closes his eyes for a second. He isn’t surprised by this reaction. They’ve started to call what they have a _relationship_ , but they both have shunned the term love or anything connected to it like the plague. Mostly because neither he nor Eobard really wanted to face what this means, but also partly because neither of them wanted to unsettle things once more after how long it took for something resembling of harmony to settle in between them.

He doesn’t know whether Eobard reciprocates his feelings, he thinks so, but it is hard to tell.

When Barry looks back at him, he isn’t surprised to see how tensed up his partner is, how close to bolting he seems.

Eobard has big enough of an ego to make it difficult at times to be in the same room as him. He is well aware of how intelligent he is and what a danger he could pose to the world at large should he want to, and he has not qualm about letting anybody know about it.

This doesn’t change that he seems to be slightly terrified by his own feelings when it comes to him.

“I’m tired,” Barry says and pushes himself away from the door. He gives the other man another smile and hopes it doesn’t look as sad as it feels. “Let’s go back to bed.”

Eobard watches him for a long moment before he finally nods in agreement.

Another silence settles between them after that, but this time Barry welcomes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you guys liked it. I was a bit in the mood for Christmas as I wrote it and what is more Christmas-y that rekindling with your loved ones? :3
> 
> Also, Eobard and Barry slowly start to get a hand of the whole being together thing which is nice after all the aggressive tension of the first few chapters. I wanted to introduce Henry to the story for a while now, just haven’t found the right way till now. I love Barry’s relationship with his dad on the show, they are just so lovingly towards each other and so close. I think an actual relationship between Eobard and Barry would put a damper to this for a bit, but neither of them could really be happy with cutting the other out of their life.
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter won’t take that long. ;)
> 
> I wish all of you a wonderful and merry Christmas!
> 
> Till next time!


	7. The Visitor or How To Fuck Up Travelling Back In Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eobard meets Barry during a nightly run. Problem is, it isn't his Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not edited.

* * *

Eobard is enjoying a late night run when he notices a faint but familiar tugging in the back of his mind.

He slows down and changes his direction, seeking out the other speedster which presence he just felt.

The air is cool, and the streets are empty due to the lateness of the hour on a weekday.

The crackling of the speed force surrounds him. It fades a bit when he decreases his speed while the feeling of the pure raw energy persists, tickling just below his skin, filling him with exhilaration and the urge to seek out his partner who is supposed to be in his apartment, watching a movie with Cisco.

Eobard stubbornly ignores the slight concern that settles over him at the notion that something could have happened that ended the movie night early. He knows how unlikely it is as Cisco is probably the most accepting person when it comes to their relationship.

The young scientist seems honestly willing to let bygone be bygone, even though he still doesn’t like to be left alone in a room with him. Which really isn’t surprising, considering that he watched his own death through Eobard’s hands with his newly developed powers.

Cisco still sees Barry as his friend, though, and the young man didn’t miss how hard the last year has been on the speedster who appears constantly worn thin these days even though he assures everybody that he is doing fine.

It is something that worries Eobard, and he wonders whether Barry would feel up for a run. Connecting to the speed force usually cheers him up, and should he not be in the mood, well, Eobard certainly can think of something else they could do instead.

Barry is wearing his Flash costume when Eobard spots him standing in a side alley just a moment later. This is a bit odd, as his partner usually doesn’t tend to wear his uniform other than if he has to act as his superhero alter ego.

It’s possible that some problem has come up, but then he should have been notified as well. The once again newly established team Flash does not like him, but they usually never miss to contact him when a problem arises, just in case, seeing that it is better to have two speedsters as your asset than one.

The air is cool and humid from the shower that went down over Central City not too long ago when Eobard comes to a halt about two feet from the other man.

Before he can say anything, Barry whirls around, eyes wide with surprise and confusion, and Eobard knows that something is off.

“You alright there, Barry?” he asks, watching the younger speedster carefully. “Isn’t the movie supposed to last for another hour?”

The confusion in Barry’s eyes only thickens, but there is another emotion as well, something Eobard is all too familiar with.

_Hate_.

Something is really wrong here, and Eobard changes his stance slightly, shifting his weight as he prepares himself in case he has to move quickly while dealing with another speedster.

The notion that Barry and he could end up in a physical fight has something oddly unpleasant to it, probably because it has been a while since they did so.

… probably because he doesn’t _want_ to hurt the younger man.

“You seem agitated,” he remarks slowly and doesn’t miss how Barry clenches his fists in response.

“You…” Barry seems uncertain what to say, and while the confusion is plain in his voice, the anger is hardly to miss either.

Eobard narrows his eyes and tilts his head a bit, realizing something he hasn’t picked up on before.

“Who are you?” he asks calmly, watching how the other man that is not Barry, at least not his Barry, tenses up in response. “Or, rather, where are you from?”

A moment of tense silence passes between them, before the other Barry finally replies. “You’re Eobard Thawne.”

“Your observation skills are quite outstanding, Mr. Allen,” Eobard replies with a smile that shows too many teeth, and he knows that this could be a problem. A _huge_ problem.

The other Barry glares at him in response, shifting slightly. “Why are you wearing the costume?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he retorts, smirking. “It’s what I usually wear when running.”

The younger speedster briefly glances around before his expression becomes even grimmer as he turns back to face him. “This is the wrong season. You shouldn’t have outed yourself as the Reverse Flash yet.”

Eobard chuckles, aching an eyebrow. “Is that so?” He tilts his head slightly, feeling the urge to intimidate the other man by using his old spiel of the Reverse Flash, distorted voice and everything, but he knows that this would probably come back to bite him later on. Thus he only smirks. “I think you missed the time _and_ the world you wanted to travel to by quite a lot, Barry.”

“Don’t call me that,” the other man tells him sharply, palpably irritated now, before a slightly panicked expression crosses his face as he glances around again. “What date is it?”

It would be amusing if Eobard wouldn’t know how dangerous this kind of meddling with the time and space stream can be.

“April the 15th 2016,” he replies, watching how the other Barry’s expression turns from surprised to slightly horrified.

“This is the presence,” the younger man mutters to himself, leaving Eobard not out of his view. “I really came to the wrong world…”

“Time travelling can have its pitfalls if you don’t know what you’re doing,” Eobard points out, and isn’t surprised when the other Barry glares at him once more.

“You’d know, wouldn’t you?” he replies. “Coming back to kill me hasn’t turn out all that well for you either, has it?”

Seeing Barry, even if it is another one, look at him with so much disdain and betrayal in his eyes causes Eobard’s fists to itch. He doesn’t need a lecture from a young idiot who isn’t able to control his powers just yet.

“Why are you still running around?” the other Barry asks, eying him suspiciously. “What did you do to the others? To the Flash of this world?”

Eobard snorts but can’t help but feel slightly uneasy by what the younger man just said.

“I’m part of your little team now.” He shrugs. “And the Barry Allen of this world is doing fine, as are his friends.”

The time traveler seems to have his problems to believe that as he looks at Eobard as if he has gone crazy.

“You’re part…” The other Barry narrows his eyes. “Do they know what you did?”

“You’re going to tattle on me?” Eobard chuckles before his expression turns into a rather ugly sneer. “You would do better by going back to where you’ve come from, Barry. This is neither your time, nor your earth.”

“You’re a dangerous psychopath,” the other Barry replies lividly, clenching his fists once more. “Do you really think I’ll let you hurt-”

“Shut up!” Eobard hisses and moves before he can stop himself. He is quick enough to grab the younger man at his throat-

A fist collides with the side of his face, causing it to explode in pain, and Eobard is suddenly facing the Flash again, the one he hated _so very_ _much_ , and it is like a _revelation_. Like something is switched on inside him, and they are fighting, running, hitting, beating each other up, and for the first time since he returned to this damn time he is not the only one in these confrontations to gives his all.

He hates him, he hates Barry Allen! He _hates_ the Flash! He has for so long, and just looking at him makes him want to split his head open, to rip his still beating heart out of his chest!

Buildings blur past them, windows break when they go past Mach one inside the city’s borders, car alarms go off, and they phase through anything in their ways as they play this violent game of cat and mouse, and while Eobard isn’t sure who of them is the hunter and who the hunted, he really doesn’t give a damn!

They leave the city, proceed their fight on the Mississippi for a while before reentering it again, both not holding back as they exchange blows, and Eobard can see the fear that joins the other man’s eyes when he realizes that he still isn’t strong enough, still not fast enough to defeat him, and it’s the sweetest aphrodisiac. It urges Eobard on to be more aggressive, more violent, and he relishes in the feeling of the other man’s bones cracking under his fist, the pained, angry noises he makes-

Someone turns up next to him and pushes him off the Flash, forcefully enough that he actually stumbles to the side, but he regains his footing within a split-second before his fist collides with the Flash’s face once again.

“Stop!” The speedster cries out, sounding confused and angry, and Eobard feels the urge to laugh, to ask him whether he finally realizes that he would never be able to defeat-

“Eo, _please_ , stop!”

Eobard’s mind freezes for a split-second before he realizes that this Flash in front of him is _his_ one, and he is able to move his arm enough that the next hit misses him, and instead meets the hard asphalt next to the younger man’s head with enough force that it nearly cracks.

A feeling of dread settles over him, like a heavy, cold blanket, and he can only look down at Barry beneath him, who is looking up at him in confusion and fear…

He swallows, realizing that he is sitting on his partner’s hips, keeping him in place, and slowly pulls his arm back.

Barry’s nose is broken, he has a split lip, and his right eyes is swollen shut but has already started to heal.

_Fuck_ …

Eobard nearly reaches out for him, nearly touches his cheek, tentatively, just to… to…

“Get away from him-” The other Barry hisses, sounding livid and like his nose has yet to completely heal.

“Don’t,” another voice tells the speedster from another world, and Eobard nearly groans because Wally is probably the last person he wants to have to deal with tonight as well.

“He’ll hurt him!”

“He… he won’t.” Wally’s reply doesn’t exactly sound convincing, probably because he doesn’t believe it himself, but he still holds the other Flash back.

“Eobard…” Eobard looks back down to the Barry that is still below him, _his_ one, who is looking pale and still utterly confused. “What is going on?”

“That’s the question,” he replies with a humorless smile and briefly clasps the younger man’s shoulder, giving it a brief squeeze, the only apology he would allow himself to offer right now.

This night could not possibly get any worse.

***

The air in the cortex is thick with tension and unspoken animosity, and Eobard feels himself at the receiving end of most of it. As usual.

“This is…” The other Barry looks pale like he is going to get sick.

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees quietly, returning his descendant’s glare with just as much fierce.

“Eddie.” Iris gives her boyfriend a misgiving look before glancing over to Barry, their Barry, who is standing a bit away from them, looking just as pale as his counterpart from another dimension.

Eddie actually seems to feel a bit guilty when he glances over to the other man then and falls quiet again.

“So, you’re coming from an alternate earth,” Cisco asks, breaking the uneasy silence that has started to settle over them once more, and even though he seems a bit subdued as well, it is hard to miss that the prospect of interdimensional travelling is quite thrilling to him.

The other Barry glances to Eobard, the wariness more than obvious in his eyes, before he turns to Cisco with a faint smile and nods. “Yeah, it seems so.”

“That’s so cool.” Cisco’s grins quickly vanes again when he notices Eobard’s frown, and he coughs lightly before he proceeds. “Well, purely scientifically speaking.”

Wally, who is standing close to Barry, snorts. “More like utterly crazy. I didn’t know we could jump between dimensions as well.” He says the last part towards Eobard, and as usual when the young man speaks to him, there is a slight accusation in the way he watches him. He is really his father’s son in this regard.

“It is an ability that is even harder to control than travelling through time,” Eobard explains, leaning back against the console behind him and crossing his arms. “It’s not something I’d advice anybody to do, especially if they’ve no real control over their powers in the first place.”

The other Barry bristles a bit at that but there is also guilt next to the anger when he turns his eyes back to Eobard.

“I didn’t just try to run back in time for fun,” he insists.

“Why did you try to travel back?” Caitlin asks, the concern plain on her face.

The young man from the other earth frowns down at his hands, he is still sitting at the medical bed where Caitlin did a number of scans on him.

“Zoom,” he finally says, his voice grim and his expression even grimmer.

“Zoom?” Wally and Cisco asks in unison both as confused as the rest of them.

Eobard feels the unease that has following him around since the other Barry turned up, grow in intensity as this name is familiar to him, and he would rather not have them deal with another Reverse Flash himself if it could be avoided. Seeing that this Barry came from an earth that seems to be both quite similar and also quite different to this one, it is hard to tell whether the Zoom he is speaking of is really Hunter Zolomon or not, though.

“Who is Zoom?” Iris asks as she steps closer to the other Barry, and Eobard doesn’t miss the look the young man gives her or the following one he shoots Eddie who has arrived together with her.

“Another speedster,” the young man explains after turning his focus back to her. He sighs and rubs his eyes, seeming much too wary for someone his age, and at least that is something Eobard can recognize as their Barry is displaying the same exhaustion most of these days whenever he thinks nobody is looking.

“Another one?” Cisco sounds excited once again, actually grinning this time. “How many are there on your earth?”

The other Barry frowns, glancing over to Wally for some reason before he gives them a rather tight smile. “Right now? Just me and Zoom.”

“Right now?” Iris asks surprised, lifting her eyebrows.

“There’s been another Flash from… well, from an alternative earth.”

“How cool,” Cisco whispers excitedly, and Eobard does his best to ignore him as he keeps his attention on the speedster in front of him.

“What was his name?” he asks, and the other Barry shoots him another weary and grim look before he answers. “Jay Garrick.”

“What happened to him?” Caitlin asks.

The young speedster’s expression becomes even darker if that is possible, and he clenches his wrists for a moment before he answers. “Zoom killed him.”

“Who is this Zoom?” Cisco’s excitement has somewhat deflated by now, and he studies the other Barry concerned when he doesn’t answer right away but purses his lips, looking pained and angry all the same.

“Another Jay Garrick.”

Well, that is _not_ what Eobard has expected.

“Garrick is your enemy?” The incredulity he is feeling has to be audible as all of them turns to him.

“You know him?” The other Barry is glaring at him once again, as if he was the actual reason that he had to deal with Zoom… and who knows, maybe their version of Eobard really played into it.

Time travelling is certainly a never ending source for entertainment and headaches.

Eobard nods and smirks. “He is one of the five great Flashes in history. In some cases, he is the reason that inspired you to become the Flash in the first place.”

“The five great Flashes?” Eddie sounds confused and skeptical, eying Eobard once again like he is trying to deceive them somehow. He has to give it to his ancestor, the man certainly is good at holding a grudge. Not that it surprises Eobard, he had to inherited this character flaw from someone.

“Wait, there are more Flashes then Barry?” Cisco asks, glancing to their Barry, who has been quiet so far.

“There are going to be,” Eobard explains. “Or, there were supposed to, at least. This timeline has been altered enough that it is hard to predict how much of its initial future will still stay intact.”

“And whose fault is that?” Eddie is really starting to tax his patience.

“Who are these five Flashes supposed to be, I mean next to Barry and this Jay Garrick?” Wally watches him expectantly, and Eobard is pretty sure that the young man is able to guess that he is supposed to be one of these legend himself.

“Does it matter?” He shrugs and enjoys when the young speedster seems quite annoyed by his reply. “This earth will likely never have any other great Flash but Barry Allen, any other speedster will be inconsequential in the end.”

It is easy to ruffle the young man’s feather as Wally has not the calm of his father. He has inherited Joe West’s the temper for sure, but he is not good at keeping his anger in check, which makes him to an amusing diversion for whenever Eobard feels bored, but not someone he needs to look out for. Not yet, at least.

“Because your opinion is so unbiased in this matter.” Wally scoffs. “And what great hero would leave someone like you run around free? You’re a murderer-”

“Wally, that’s enough,” Iris tells her brother sharply, meeting his petulant glare firmly.

“I think we should be concentrating on the fact that we’ve another Barry from another earth around,” Caitlin points out.

“Yeah,” Cisco agrees, and Eobard doesn’t miss how he shoots their Barry a worried look. “Our priorities should probably be on the visitor from another dimension.”

Wally doesn’t appear like he really wants to let it go, but backs down with a huff eventually, probably because Iris would give him a dress down afterwards if he dosen’t.

The relationship between Barry and his family has returned to something close to how it has been before their fallout, but the scars are still deep on both sides, and the appearance of Joe’s son from one day to the next has not been helping things. Iris seem intent on fixing their relationship, though, and where Joe West is still reluctant to acknowledge his foster son’s relationship to Eobard, she has started to make her peace with it.

The arrival of Wally West introduced a new source of tension, though, and it doesn’t help that the young man feels threatened regarding his place in the West home because of Barry.

After he learned why his father really has such a great dislike for Eobard, things only got worse between Wally and his foster brother…

“I think the best think would be for him to return to his own earth.” Caitlin eyes the other Barry in a way that makes it obvious that she is worried his presence could have bad consequences for them. She has always been a smart woman.

“Yeah,” the other Barry agrees, but there is something to how uneasy he looks for a moment that has Eobard on edge even before he goes on. “But I… don’t really know how I even came here.”

“What?” Wally shoots him a skeptical look. “But you _did_.”

“He initially planned to travel somewhere completely different,” Eddie remarks, crossing his arms and studying the other Barry with a frown. “Why would you try to travel through time when you aren’t really sure how to do it?”

The young speedster grimaces and shrugs. “I did it before and it worked out then, but…”

“But?” Iris presses on when the other Barry falters.

“But there was something chasing me,” he explains and makes a face as if the memory alone of that event is unsettling.

“Something chased you?” Cisco looks rather ill at ease all of a sudden and looks around as if he was expecting something to appear out of thin air and attack them.

Eobard has a pretty good idea what the other man crossed paths with.

“A time wraith,” he cuts the other Barry off just as he was about to open his mouth, attracting all of the others’ attention by doing so.

“A _what_?” Wally obviously has no idea what he is talking, and Cisco quickly adds. “That doesn’t sound _friendly_.”

“It isn’t.” Eobard smirks. “It’s probably the last thing whose attention you want to draw on you while you’re in the speed force. Next to the _Black Flash_ , that is.”

“The _Black Flash_?” The other Barry, Cisco, Wally, and Eddie asks in unison, before exchanging brief looks with each other. It is nearly adorable, like Eobard is dealing with a bunch of kindergartners he’s telling a story to. It would be, at least, if it wasn’t that annoying at the same time.

“It’s an entity that is connected to the speed force,” he explains curtly. “Nothing you’ve to worry about.” He doesn’t add the ‘ _yet’_ because that would only cause this discussion to sway even more from their initial topic.

“There is a speed force _god_ out there?” Wally sound like he has a hard time to believe this piece of information, and judging by the looks of the others, so do they.

Eobard shrugs again, turning his attention back to the Barry from the other earth. “You won’t need to worry about this creature, it would only go after you again if you proceed to try and go back to the past of your own timeline.”

“Why?” The young man eyes him with a mixture of confusion and weariness.

“What do you think, Mr. Allen?” he returns, feeling slightly annoyed by how thick this Flash seems to be.

“It attacked me because I tried to travel back in my timeline?” the other Barry finally asks after glaring at him for a good minute.

“Indeed.” Eobard gives him a smile that is probably not especially friendly.

The young speedster’s expression turns exasperated when he seems to finally get it. “They’re like guard dogs that try to keep me from changing stuff in the past, aren’t they?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Eobard agrees.

“So if I return to my earth, it wouldn’t try to go after me again?”

“Probably.”

“ _Probably_?!”

Eobard grins, enjoying the slightly horror in the young man’s eyes. “Generally, they don’t.”

“Generally…” The other Barry gives him a dirty look before he groans softly and runs his fingers through his hair, visibly worried by these piece of information.

“Wait a minute,” Eddie speaks up, and Eobard already knows what the man is going to asks before he even speaks.

“They aren’t omniscient or omnipresent in the speed force,” he explains. “If your unlucky enough to cross one’s path, you’ll have to deal with them, if not, then you don’t.”

“But you’d to deal with them before?” the other Barry inquires, studying him attentively.

“A couple of times,” he agrees, causing Wally to give him an odd look. “How often did you travel back in time?”

“Often enough to know what to look out for when I do so.”

This answer doesn’t seem to satisfy anybody present, but Eobard really couldn’t care less. He hasn’t missed that Barry, his Barry, has been quiet so far, and when he glances to him, he isn’t really surprised to see how pale he still looks or how little he obviously wants to be here right now.

It is not hard to guess why, and Eobard can’t say that he is surprised. The other Barry Allen looked close to getting sick when he just learned that Eobard is still a part of the team, that they even just tolerate him around. He would likely not react any better if he learned that this version of him is in a relationship with Eobard.

“How did you end up here, though?” Caitlin wonders aloud, and Eobard turns his attention back to the others.

“I don’t know.” The other Barry looks frustrated as he proceeds. “This time wraith attacked me, we struggled and then I lost my footing and… I don’t know, I felt like I was in a rollercoaster ride for a minute or so before I landed here.”

“So it’s a bit like travelling through the Floo network in Harry Potter,” Cisco concludes, once again quite excited by what he has just learned. “You aren’t careful and you could end up anywhere!”

“It’s _not_ like the Floo network,” Eobard disagrees drily, much to young scientist’s disappointment.

“The wraith thing did look a lot like a Dementor, though,” the other Barry points out.

“Dude!” Cisco looks about as excited as a kid in a candy store. “For real?! How cool is that?”

“I don’t think that cool is the right word to describe it.” Caitlin looks a bit unsettled. “Dementors are _scary_.”

“And they suck out your soul,” Wally agrees matter of fact, causing Cisco to snicker.

“So what are we going to do now?” Iris ignores the two men and eyes the other Barry with concern. “You’ve to get back to your world considering what danger it is in.”

“I know,” the speedster agrees and starts to bite his lower lip, something that reminds Eobard of his Barry and how he copes with stress.

“Why did you want to travel back in time anyway?” Eddie asks.

“I…” The other Barry glances to Eobard, and his expression darkens again. “I need to find a way to get faster.”

And it is not hard to guess in which way he wanted to try and achieve this.

“By trying to travel back in time to get my alternate self’s assistant,” Eobard concludes. “Probably without letting him know that you’re from the future.”

This plan would be nearly drolly if it wasn’t so damn stupid.

“I have to get faster,” the other speedster insists, meeting Eobard’s eyes with a by now familiar glare. “Zoom is too strong, and if I don’t find a way…” The young man looks away, the worry plain on his face. “He’ll kill anybody I know and hold dear.”

The cortex falls silent after that, a taken aback kind of quietness that follows when nobody is really sure what to say, and Eobard doesn’t understand why but an uneasy feeling settles in the pit of his stomach after hearing this.

He glances over to Barry, who is watching this alternative version of himself with open concern, and it is out of question that he would not want to help him somehow.

“We can try and help you with that,” Barry offers, just as Eobard has expected, and he nearly tells him that this ‘ _we’_ is not going to contain him. He still remembers all too clearly what occurred between them earlier tonight, so that he bites down on the urge to do so and stays quiet instead.

The other Barry turns to his alternative sels, surprised as he has clearly not expected the offer. So do the others, and judging by Caitlin’s and Eddie’s frown, Eobard is not the only one who doesn’t like this one bit.

“Barry,” Iris starts, sounding somewhat unsure as she regards her friend. “Maybe that is not such a good idea.” Eobard does not miss how she slightly tilts her head towards him as she says this.

“He needs our help,” Barry objects firmly, lifting his chin slightly, and Eobard feels the urge to roll his eyes because the stubborn brat would be unable not to help someone in need, no matter that this man doesn’t even belong to their reality.

This is going to end in a disaster, Eobard can already tell.

He keeps his mouth shut, though.

There is still this ugly bruise on Barry’s right cheek, and his slightly swollen lip that just finished healing close a couple of minutes ago, and Eobard hates how guilty he feels for being the cause of these injuries. He hates how much the young man has started to mean to him, and he hates how powerless he is in regard to his own feelings…

He has turned into a pitiful man, someone who he swore himself he would never become again…

Eobard pushes that notion away, and watches wordlessly how Barry proceeds to get himself into something that would only leave him hurting in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a really long time since I posted a chapter for Anomaly, and I really wanna apologize for this. This is a fic I enjoy writing but really have to be in the mood to do so as I don't have the whole story plotted out in my mind.
> 
> I want to thank Nice_Moon for getting me back on track with her comment, I really just needed a small prod it seems. X)
> 
> This chapter is the first one of a small story arc, I got inspried by the last episode of the Flash and found the idea to explore the idea behind it a bit more fun. There will probably three to five parts to it.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and your feedback is very much appreciated! <3


	8. The Visitor or How To Fuck Up Travelling Back In Time Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry learns that even an alternative version of himself can have troubles accepting his choice of a partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not edited by anybody but myself.

* * *

It is definitely odd to have an alternative version of yourself sitting in his living room, eying his surroundings curiously, and Barry can’t help but wonder how similar the other man’s own apartment is to his.

They’ve just finished watching the latest Terminator movie, and they both agree that, while it can’t hold up with the first two, it is quite fun entertainment in its own regard.

He closes the fridge and makes his way over to the other Barry, two root beers in hand.

Discussing with his alternative self the movie has been fun, as has been demolishing 8 pizzas while it was on, and making fun of the new John Conner and how Arnold’s accent seem to get worse with age.

Barry thinks that Cisco would have enjoyed it, as he likes the Terminator franchise, and he probably would have loved to badmouth the movie with them for how it didn’t seem to respect the original source at all.

“You’ve a nice apartment,” his alternative self says, smiling, when Barry turns up next to the couch. He returns it, relaxing a bit when he sees that it is not forced. It is nice to have the other man over, even though having him stay here temporary means that Eobard has to keep his distance.

“Thanks.” Barry hands the other man a can and sits down next to him. Opening the cool beverage, he asks. “Does it look similar to yours?”

“Yeah, when I still had my own apartment,” the other Barry explains and elaborates at Barry’s surprised look. “I’m living with Joe again.” He chuckles and shrugs. “With how crazy everything got after I woke up from the coma, and with Iris moving out, it seemed the most sensible thing to do.” That said, he makes a vague gesture around the room. “I’d mostly the same stuff, though. Well, my walls were white, and I don’t do yoga.”

Barry hums and looks away as his cheeks heat up in response to the innocent observation.

He really has to start to put the yoga mat away in case other people could pass by. The memory he connects with it aren’t exactly helping feeling any less nervous and awkward around his alternative self.

“You’ve never moved back in with Joe, I assume?” The other Barry asks.

The question catches him off-guard, even though it really shouldn’t, considering what they’re currently talking about. It still takes Barry a moment to answer, and when he does, it is difficult to keep the regret he feels off his face.

“No, I actually did move back in with Joe for a while,” Barry explains and studies the can in his hand absentmindedly as unwanted memories try to fight their way back to the surface of his mind. Of how things between him and his foster parent became tensed and uncomfortable enough that they started to avoid each other at home, till he just couldn’t take it anymore and decided to look for some place to stay on his own again.

It’s probably the reason why Barry never really started to feel like home in this apartment. When he got it, he lost a big part of his life at the same time, and while he can say by now that it only was temporarily, for which he is endlessly grateful, the walls around him hold at least as much painful memories as good ones.

This makes Eobard’s offer to move in with him quite alluring, even though Barry doesn’t really like the remotely located house. It’s just too sterile, too cold in a way, and… and these are probably just excuses, because he could change these thing, could do some redecorating, even though probably Eo wouldn’t be happy about it.

What really keeps him from accepting the other speedster’s invitation is the simple fact, that he is still not entirely sure how much he can trust him.

Which is silly, considering that there exist no locked doors for people like them anymore, but Barry is worried that moving in with Eobard would change things again, and he really likes how their relationship is right now. Much less violent, much more comfortable, loving even, though he is pretty sure Eo wouldn’t use that term himself.

“But you decided to get your own apartment again?” The other Barry asks, and causes him to snap out of his own thoughts. He turns back to him, feeling a bit guilty for getting lost in his own mind with the other man around.

“Yeah.” Barry averts his eyes and forces himself to smile. “I’m a bit more of a loner than you, I guess. I like to have my own place.”

It’s obviously an excuse, and he knows that his alternative self must have picked up on that too. The brief, awkward silence that follows definitely say as much.

“Is it because of Wally?” The other Barry asks, and the question is successful in both ending the growing tension between them before it was able to too oppressive, and catching him off-guard.

“What?” Barry gives the other him a confused look, but quickly realizes that, yeah, if this Barry also has a Wally, and their lives are similar to a degree, they probably don’t get along all too well either. He shakes his head but gives the other speedster an understanding look. “Uh, no. Wally and I… we don’t get along so well, but I didn’t move out because of him.”

Despite how little Wally seems to like him, Barry still hopes that they would somehow be able to find common ground in some way so that the tension between them could finally dissipate, and he would not always have to feel like an unwanted intruder whenever he comes over to Joe’s house for dinner.

“He can be… complicated,” his doppelgänger remarks, causing him to snort bemused, because that’s definitely true, but…

“He had a complicated life,” Barry points out, sliding a bit lower on the couch and sighing tiredly. “And he’s still working through the issues about his mom’s death and getting his powers.”

“Yeah, about that…” The other Barry eyes him curiously. “How exactly did that happen?”

“His powers?” Barry frowns. “Yours doesn’t haven them?”

Considering that this Barry’s Eobard is dead, he probably should have expected that the differences between their earths are more explicit than their living accommodations.

“No.” The other Barry takes a sip of his root beer and slides a bit lower as well, averting his eyes to the television in front of them. He gnaws at his lower lip, something Barry recognizes all too well from himself when he is nervous or thinking, and sighs. “Not yet, at least.” Glancing back at Barry, he proceeds. “How did he get his powers?”

Barry smiles humorlessly and tries not to grimace as he thinks back to the event that gave Wally a connection to the speed force.

“We were at the police station, he tends to visit Joe there at times,” Barry explains quietly. “Wally came to visit me in the lab to talk about… something.” He looks back down to the can in his hands and purses his lips, feeling angry and hurt all over again over the fight that ensued after Wally turned up in the laboratory. “We got in a bit of a fight and…” He frowns unhappily and shrugs. “The roof window was open, a storm was about to start, and it seems that they’re wrong about lightning not hitting one place twice.”

“He got hit by lightning?” There is audible concern in the other man’s voice, and it is obvious that he cares for Wally, even if these two don’t get along. It’s pretty much the same for Barry.

“Yes, I was just about to leave the lab when I felt it, the static in the air around us, but I got hurt during a fight with Dr. Alchemist a few days prior, and I wasn’t fast enough…” Barry lets his head drop back and closes his eyes, feelings just as miserable about this now as he had months ago. “He got hit and thrown back into the shelves with the chemicals just as I got to him…”

What exactly happened then is still pretty much a mystery to them.

Somehow, some of Barry’s connection to the speed force was partly transferred to the younger man and giving him a very similar power-set to his own.

“The lightening caused him to get the speed force as well?” Barry’s doppelganger asks him in a mixture of confusion and incredulity. “How does that work? I mean without the explosion of the particle accelerator?”

“We’re not really sure.” Barry pulls his knees to his chest and slings his arms loosely around this shins. “Eo thinks it’s because of the speed force, that it’s somehow connected to me-”

“Eo?”

Barry freezes and the urge to kick himself overcomes him. He glances to the other Barry, who is watching him now with a careful, inquiring look.

“You mean Eobard, don’t you?” His doppelganger asks, and he isn’t sure how to respond or how to deny it, thus he only gives a small nod.

The other speedster’s frown deepens, and he cocks his head slightly to the side, watching him thoughtfully for a long, uneasy moment. When he speaks, he sounds not angry, though, but rather hesitant. “The others don’t seem to like him very much… did he betray you as well?” Pain flashes across his eyes and he seems nearly reluctant as he asks. “Did he kill your mom?”

“Yes,” Barry answers truthfully. Denying wouldn’t make any sense, and he himself is very aware of Eobard’s past crimes.

“Why is he not locked away?” The other Barry asks, anguish and anger suddenly plain on his face, and Barry averts his eyes because all of a sudden he feels utterly ashamed of himself again. He wants to curl up on himself and-

Angrily, he pushes that thought away, and forces himself to meet the other Barry’s eyes. “I’m… you probably won’t understand…” He laughs nervously and pulls his knees closer to his chest. “But Eobard and I… I don’t hate him...”

The thing between them, it did start out as hate interweaved with attraction, but it eventually morphed into something else. It is still changing now, causing Barry to feel uncertain around Eobard even though he does crave his presence these days.

Everything that involves them is complicated, confusing, and frustrating, and he doubts that his alternative self would be able to come up with any more understanding for the feelings he has for his mother’s murderer than his family and friends do.

“You don’t hate him?” the other Barry asks, the incredulity plain in his voice and the way he is watching him now. There is no accusation, though, but confusion, and Barry wonders what this other version of him will think when he finds out about Eobard’s and his relationship.

“No,” Barry agrees quietly. “I did once…” He pauses and considers his words before he amends. “No, I think that’s not true. I was angry, upset about what he had done to us… to me.” Rubbing his eyes, he exhales a low, tired sounding sigh. “I don’t think I’ve ever really hated him…”

Not that he didn’t came close, especially with how Eobard made his aversion against him more than known the first couple of months after he denied him his journey back in his own time.

People are constantly changing, though, always moving onward, even if they are stuck in place, and despite the anger and hurt that was between them at first, they too eventually moved on from it.

Barry smiles a grim, unhappy smile as he thinks about how nobody could have seen that coming, and how much this did complicate things.

The other Barry, this other version of him, is watching him silently now, and he isn’t sure but he thinks he can make out blame and repulsion in his eyes. After the last three years, he got used to these emotions coming from others, but it is still different with the speedster sitting next to him, because it is like looking in a mirror…

Only that the person that is looking back is disgusted by him.

“You two are together.” The other man doesn’t sound unsure anymore but like he just had an epiphany moment.

“Yes,” Barry admits, and it physically hurts him to see how his mirror image’s face falls, how he looks utterly taken aback. The other speedster stumbles to his feet, seemingly no longer able to be close to him.

“I…” There are so many emotions crossing the other Barry’s face in less than a second that it would be hard to pick up on them for anybody else. Barry is the Flash, though, the fastest man alive, and it is no trouble for him at all to watch the confusion transform into disgust, then horror, then anger, then hurt.

“He isn’t hurting anybody anymore,” Barry can’t help but say, and it’s nearly a plea, because he doesn’t want this other version of himself to hate him for how he feels. The notion is frightening and upsetting, and he wishes he would know how to make him understand that he is very much aware of how sick this must appear to him, but that Eobard has changed, is still changing, and that he is no longer that monster of their nightmares.

“I think I’ll go back to S.T.A.R. labs,” the other Barry replies, still watching Barry with an expression that is mostly consumed by pain and disbelief.

“That’s not necessary,” Barry tries to persuade him and gets up too. “I told you that you can use my couch-”

“No.” The other speedster frowns, and while he doesn’t look angry per se, he does seem upset. “I think I’d like some time to clear my head.”

Without giving Barry any opportunity to response, the alternative version of him is suddenly gone, leaving him standing alone in his living room.

The following silence is nearly deafening.

Barry lets his arms drop next to his body, and he stays there for a long minute, feeling oddly numb and weary all of a sudden.

Slowly, he turns around and moves towards his bedroom, ignoring the fact that he didn’t brushed his teeth or put on his comfortable sleeping pants and shirt. He just wants to lay down, and sleep.

It has been a ridiculous long day, and he won’t think about any of it, he will try to forget it all and just get some rest.

Shutting the other Barry’s horrified expression out of his mind, Barry lets himself drop onto his bed, and doesn’t bother to pull up the blanket. He is gone within seconds.

***

Barry’s body feels hot and flushed as arousal is flooding his mind. It is so intense that he fears he is going to drown in it, causing him to moan loudly. Unconsciously, he moves his hand towards his loins, confused and uncertain whether he is awake or still asleep-

His finger come in touch with soft hair, warm skin, and suddenly his eyes are wide open as he stares down in the darkness of his bedroom, where he can make Eobard’s silhouette out. The other man is resting between Barry’s spread legs, in the act of giving him a blowjob. Their gazes meet, and he shivers. His partner’s eyes are a dimly lit red, promising and threatening at the same time.

There is a myriad of emotions in them, many of which Barry isn’t sure how to interpret, but some he is more than familiar with. Anger, for example, but also worry, and something else, something much softer, something close to fondness that goes much, much deeper…

“E-Eo?” Barry stammers groggily, still a little confused about what is going on as his mind is not fully awake yet. He hisses and throws his head back when Eobard responds by doubling his effort in sucking his brain out through his dick.

It feels intense but undeniably good, and Barry can’t say that he really expected anything else because Eobard is about as capable of a lover as a scientist if he wants to be.

He moans loudly, lewdly, enjoying what the other man does with his tongue, his lips, and how he has his thumb and index lightly closed around the base of his cock, vibrating them so that this whole experience gets so much more powerful.

“Yes…” Barry groans and buries his fingers in the other speedster’s hair while he pinches his right nipple with the ones of his other hand.

It is like he is drunk, he can’t think straight, his mind feels like molasses, probably because he isn’t fully awake yet, and he urges Eobard on, slowly but surely being driven towards an orgasm he is desperate for.

His hips move on their own accord, or try to, as Eobard uses his free hand to hold them in place, extracting a frustrated whine from him. He _needs_ to move.

“Eo, please,” Barry begs and shivers when he unconsciously connects to the speed force and starts to vibrate, and the heat in his loins only grows due to it. “ _Please_ , I need to come.”

A part of him expects the other man to stop, to pull back and smirk up at him as he asks what he would get in return. It is an old game between them by now, and part of Barry is excited about it, seeing that he likes to give just as much as to receive. An even bigger part of him just wants to come, though, because there is a tension to his body that wants to be eased away, and an orgasm would certainly help.

To his surprise, Eobard does give him what he asks for by moving his hand, that he been keeping Barry’s hips still so far, to his balls to take them in a loose hold. He starts to vibrate it like his other one and tightens its fingers around the base of Barry’s cock. Then, he looks up to him again, eyes a gleaming red now.

Barry whimpers when Eobard concentrates his effort on the head his cock, just where he is especially sensitive, all the while not breaking the eye contact with him.

The feeling that courses through Barry’s body in response is powerful and only magnified by Eobard’s piercing gaze, and he bites his lower lip as he twists his right nipple nearly painfully hard while the looming orgasm seems like a tsunami about to crash down on him.

Eobard adjust his hand that is holding Barry’s balls in a secure but loose grip and presses his vibrating index finger onto the patch of skin behind them. It causes a flash of electricity going straight to Barry’s prostate and enough to push him over the edge.

His body tenses up as his orgasm overcomes him, pulling him down under the surface of an ocean of heat and nearly smothering ecstasy, and he cries out Eobard’s name, digging his fingers into his hair, probably painfully so, but he can’t help himself.

When the intense feeling of his climax finally starts to subside, Barry’s body goes limp, and he lets his head drop back onto his pillow with a soft groan.

A warm, relaxed sensation settles over his limbs, and he shivers in response when Eobard playfully sucks at his dick one last time before he let it go.

Barry feels too groggy to move when his partner climbs up next to him, but the other man doesn’t seem to mind that there is not much space left between them as he lays down next to him.

“That was a nice way to be woken up,” Barry murmurs and turns his head so he can rest his cheek on Eobard’s shoulder.

Eobard snorts in response and pushes his arm behind Barry’s back so that his hand ends up resting on his side.

“You looked like you need something to help you relax,” Eobard tells him, his lips so close to his forehead that he can feel his warm breath.

“I was sleeping,” Barry points out, a smile tugging on his lips.

“I thought you liked the way I woke you?” Eobard reminds him, causing him to chuckle and press himself a bit closer to his warm body.

“’m not complaining,” Barry mumbles. “It was just unexpected.”

He sighs softly and closes his eyes as he lets his hand rest on Eobard’s bare abdomen, feeling the speed force course through the other man’s body just below his skin.

In all honesty, Barry is glad that Eobard is here. The depressing and awful feeling that overcame him earlier, when the alternative version of himself left, mostly subsided again, leaving only a slight, throbbing pain in his chest he is able to ignore with the other man around.

It probably is no coincident that Eobard turned up here tonight even though the other Barry was supposed to stay here. He probably was still over at S.T.A.R. labs, helping Cisco and Caitlin to find a way to get their dimension hopper back home again, and when the speedster in question turned up, it must have become obvious that something happened.

Barry rolls onto his side and presses himself firmer against Eobard, noticing just now that he is missing his pants and boxers. Even though it is really silly, he can’t help but flush lightly seeing that Eobard still has his pants on. He presses his forehead against the other man’s collar bone, partly to hide his blush and partly so he can be closer to him. It is an incredibly reassuring feeling when his partner tightens his arm around him.

Maybe, Eobard wasn’t at the laboratories, though. By now, Barry is more than aware of their connection, how they can at times feels each other’s emotions when those are particularly strong…

He swallows and closes his eyes, feeling loose and tired.

“Thank you,” Barry utters quietly, and the room around them is so silent, that the words sound loud and clear.

He expects a quip, maybe some well-worn arrogance, but it stays out.

Instead, Eobard hums softly and starts to rub his side in a slow, nearly lazy fashion.

They stay like this, wordlessly, only touching for a long while, and Barry keeps his mind empty, concentrating only on Eobard’s presence and how it causes him to feel calmer and securer.

It is hard to understand how this can be, considering who Eobard Thawne is.

Who he is to him and his family.

… and so much for _not_ thinking about it.

Barry frowns and slides his right hand that rested on Eobard’s abdomen around his back, holding onto him as if to spite his own thoughts.

Considering, how he himself is not able to make head or tails of his feelings, it should really not surprise him that others can’t either.

Over the last years, he spent so much time thinking about this, trying to understand how he could see the other man in that light despite who he is and what he did, that he is just plain tired of it by now.

Joe and Eddie would never understand, neither would the others, not really at least. Caitlin, Cisco, Iris, and his dad try, but they are still puzzled by this, and while they don’t say so any longer, it is still clear that they think this is one big mistake that will eventually come back to bite him. Barry knows that nothing what he would say or do would ever change this. It was like trying to catch rain with a broken cup, it would get him nowhere, it would only cause frustration.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Eobard says, his voice low and annoyed, but Barry is able to discern by now between when the other man is really irked and when he is only faking it. It’s the later this time.

“Sorry,” Barry mutters and sighs quietly. He pulls slightly back so that he can lift his gaze and look up to his partner. “Just a lot on my mind.”

Again, Eobard doesn’t reply, at least not verbally, because suddenly Barry finds himself on his back with the other speedster looming over him, kneeing between his legs once more.

His hand is around Barry’s throat, causing him to grows utterly still. Then, Barry notices that the grip is loose enough that he could easily escape without even putting up a fight and relaxes again.

Eobard studies him wordlessly for what feels like a small eternity, his eyes a bright red like gleaming metal.

“You’re not scaring me,” Barry finally says, and he is a little surprised when the hand around his throat doesn’t immediately tighten. He expected another argument, still expects it, as Eobard usually deals with the trouble that comes with their relationship in his own much more violent way.

 _No_ , Barry thinks and frowns, _that’s not true._

It has been a while since they clashed physically and he had to nurse any injuries originated by the other man’s hands.

Things have been calmer between them for a while now.

“You’re lying.” Eobard looks grim, angry, but his ire is not directed towards Barry. Then, he snorts humorlessly and shows him a too toothy grin. “You were scared of me just last night.”

Barry frowns, confused about his words, though it only lasts for a second. He reaches up and loosely grasps the wrist of the hand that is holding him in place.

“You went full berserk on my yesterday when you thought I’m… _him_ ,” Barry explains quietly. “I wasn’t sure what went into you and… yeah, I was scared, but only because you looked at me like I was someone else.”

A strained silence follows, and the tension that settled over the other man is nearly tangible.

The fingers around Barry’s throat let go, and he does so too, allowing Eobard to move his hand up, towards Barry’s face. There it hovers, like the other man isn’t sure what he wants to do next, or is reluctant about it.

When the fingers finally touch Barry’s right cheekbone, they trace it lightly, causing a shiver to run through his body.

It’s not hard to get what is going through Eobard’s mind, then, and Barry reaches for the other man’s wrist again, taking a firm hold of it.

“I’m fine,” Barry assures him, voice low and soft. He is telling the truth. The injuries he got from Eobard punching him are long gone again, healed within hours, and he knows that the other speedster didn’t mean to hurt him.

Seeing him seemingly still distressed over it, is something Barry didn’t expect.

Eobard doesn’t reply, but his expression stays grim and hard.

“I’m fine, Eo,” Barry repeats and pulls the other man’s hand closer, so that he can press his lips against his palm.

“I could have killed you.” Eobard states with utter seriousness, and Barry feels the urge to roll his eyes.

“No, you couldn’t have,” he retorts. “I’m faster than you now, I would have gotten away if necessary.”

The annoyance is visible on his partner’s face when he says this, and it is nearly funny how clearly put out he is still by this little fact. Not that Barry is really bringing this up a lot, seeing how little Eobard likes to acknowledge the change in their power dynamics.

“I had you on the ground, idiot,” Eobard points out, angry, nearly hissing. “If you freeze like a dear in some car’s headlight, how the hell will your powers help you?”

“You won’t try and hurt me again,” Barry argues stubbornly, and seeing how the other man broke his nose and cheekbone just last night, it is probably a rather questionable statement. Even so, he knows that it was an accident, and that things between them have changed. A lot.

“You’re a moron.” Eobard nearly spits, his eyes flaring up in a bright, deep red, and for a second he looks like he is about to strike Barry, just to prove him wrong.

He can be so petty at times, nearly like a child, and Barry bites down on a huff of frustration-

Eobard suddenly moves, gripping Barry’s neck and pulls him into a kiss. It is hungry and demanding, and Barry welcomes it, opening his lips with a groan as he allows the other man’s tongue into his mouth.

They don’t break the kiss for what feels like minutes, till both of them are out of air, and Barry hisses in pain and pleasure when his partner nips his lower lip hard as he pulls back.

Eobard didn’t seem particularly fond of kissing in the beginning, he became more lenient after the first couple of months, but seeing that Barry is a big kisser, it was rather disappointing for him how reluctant the other man seemed about it for the longest time. Over the last half a year this has started to change, though, and by now Eobard hardly ever seemed annoyed about it when Barry attempted to initiate one.

“Turn around,” Eobard orders him, his voice rough, harsh nearly, causing Barry to shiver in anticipation and newly flared up arousal. “Get on your hands and knees.”

Barry groans as he watches how his partner starts to undo his pants and does as told, already excited about feeling him inside.

It has been just a couple of days since they’d sex the last time, but Barry’s enhanced libido makes him feel like it has been a small eternity instead. He shivers as he lowers his upper body after he turned around and gotten on his knees, causing his ass to stick up in the air.

There is a slight shift behind him as Eobard briefly vanishes out of the bed to get hold of some lubrication, before he is back again. Barry whines softly in arousal when a warm, big hand cups his right buttock, and he presses back against it, greedily awaiting what’s about to happen.

“You just came,” Eobard remarks, sounding still annoyed but the amusement and smugness are still audibly. Then, unexpectedly, he reaches between Barry’s legs, grabs the base of his penis and squeezes it firmly. It isn’t hard enough to be painful, it actually has the opposite effect, and Barry finds himself push back against the other man, whining softly as the desire that rushes through his body becomes nearly painfully intense.

“You really think that you deserve another orgasm after what a pest you’re again?” Eobard asks, menacingly, and Barry hisses when he suddenly slaps his right buttock. “I should grab a cock ring and have my way with you without letting you come once.”

Barry groans and presses his forehead into the soft material of his pillow. An amused smile tugs on his lips, and he turns his head slightly so that he is able to glance over his shoulder, back to his partner. He knows that Eobard is only putting on a show, probably more for his own shake than to intimidate him. The other man can be silly like that.

Another slap follows, and Barry hisses once more, enjoying how the brief flash of pain causes his arousal to spike. He pushes back against Eobard, starting to grow impatient. “Please.” A shiver runs through him when the fingers around his cock momentarily tighten. “ _Please_ , I want to feel you inside me.”

He hears Eobard grunt behind him, well aware of how much it turns his partner on to have him plead for his cock.

It comes unexpected when the hand on his erection suddenly starts to slowly move, causing another shiver to run through his body.

“You’re a nuisance,” Eobard states, voice low, still somewhat angry. Barry is pretty sure he wants to say more, and the unspoken _burden_ quietly hovers between them, something he has been called a number of times by the other man in the past.

Their relationship has changed, though, as has Eobard, and his need to hurt him started to dim away over the years. While he is still quick to verbally lash out, he hardly ever does so with the same amount of cruelty or the same intent to really hit him where it hurts. Even though the other speedster would likely punch him for it, Barry can’t help but think that he got a bit mellow with time, something he certainly is not complaining about.

He groans when Eobard flickers his thumb briefly over the head of his erection, and the urge to hump into the warm fingers that are currently giving him a slow and intense hand job is nearly painfully strong.

“The idiot knows nothing,” Eobard suddenly says, and Barry needs a second to realize about _which_ idiot his partner is talking about this time. To Eobard the majority of people are beneath him when it comes to their intellect, and it can be rather hard at times to actually understand who annoyed him again.

“He has no right to judge you.” The anger in Eobard’s voice intensifies again, and Barry huffs in frustration when he stops the slow motion of his hand. Even though they are not facing each other, Barry can feel the other man’s gaze on him, and he turns slightly, so that he can meet his eyes.

“He is weak,” Eobard declares, looking even more pissed. “He’s arrogant, he really thinks he can trick _me_ into doing his bidding.” He grits his teeth, eyes blazing red, and Barry wonders whether he should point out that this other Barry has nothing to do with him, that he is looking for another Eobard of another universe…

Eobard’s hate for the Flash is strong, though. Has been so from the very beginning, and in moments like this, when it becomes so very obvious, Barry wonders whether what the other man seems to feel for him could ever be real.

It is a daunting though but a very familiar one.

When they fight or even when they lay together at night, Barry can’t help but think that this is just a fluke, and anomaly that will eventually resolve itself.

The feeling that everything his life is, is somehow nothing but a big mistake. It has been following him around for a long time now-

“Stop it,” Eobard orders him and squeezes his cock lightly, causing Barry to jump and glance back to him again. “You’re beating yourself up over something that never was and never will be. You aren’t him, and his life isn’t yours. Stop bringing this into question all the damn time.” His eyes are still glowing in a dim red as he speaks.

“You look at me and you see _him_ ,” Barry retorts, and he thinks about moving, about pulling out of the other man’s grasp, because he doesn’t want to have this kind of conversation while being jerked off.

“I don’t.” Eobard hisses, eyes flaring up crimson, and Barry nearly jolts back when sparks of electricity seem to originate from the other man’s hand that is holding his cock. It spurs his arousal on, causing an inadvertent moan to pass his lips, which is quickly followed by another one when Eobard starts to jerk him off again, faster this time.

“You think I would waste my time with you if I really saw him when I look at you?” Eobard asks, and the frustration and anger are plain in his words. “I’m no moron, Barry. I know that you aren’t him. I’ve known this for much longer than you can understand.”

“The way you look at me-” Barry is cut off by the other speedster when the hand on his cock suddenly becomes a blur as he speeds up, and he cries out when the stimulation nearly becomes too much.

“Stop being so damn ridiculous,” Eobard tells him, irritated. “I don’t see anybody but you when I look at you, can’t you get that through the thick skull of yours?”

That is a lie. At least, Barry is pretty sure of it.

Right now, as he feels like he is going to explode any second now, he doesn’t want to argue about it anymore, though.

“I-” He pants and tries to get his brain to work so that he can formulate an actual sentence. “Please, Eo…”

“What?” Eobard knows all too well what he is trying to say, but he is going to make him ask for it, which is really not a surprise. “What do you want from me?”

Barry groans and adjust his knees, spreading his legs a little wider as the feeling of the other man’s hand on his erection nearly consumes all of his consciousness.

“What do you want?” Eobard repeats as he moves his other hand to the cleft between Barry’s buttocks and starts to rub it lightly. “Tell me.”

“Fuck.” Barry grits his teeth and pushes back against the teasing fingers, eyes squeezed shut. “ _Please_ , fuck me.”

A frustrated hiss passes his lips when the stimulations suddenly stop, and he shoots a glare back to the other man. The break only last for what feels like a heartbeat, though, because then a lubricated finger starts to press its way past his ring of tight muscles, and Barry closes his eyes again, moaning loudly as he welcomes the penetration.

Eobard doesn’t take too much time to prepare him, not that it is really necessary, and both of them know that Barry enjoys a little pain during sex. The other speedster makes sure to get three fingers into him, briefly rubbing against his prostate, causing a hot, electrifying arousal to course through his veins as he pulls them out again and quickly replaces them with his cock.

It’s obvious that Eobard is no less desperate to feel him around him, and Barry groans when he feels him enter, passing his entrance that feels too tight despite the prior stretch his partner gave him. He wants him to move so that the discomfort starts to mingle with pleasure, pushes back in impatience which causes his partner to grab his hips and hold him still.

“You’ve no self-control,” Eobard admonishes him lightly.

“Move.” Barry huffs in frustration, feeling like his skin becomes too tight as the arousal in him grows even more now that he has the other man’s cock inside him. “ _Please_ , Eo.”

Eobard chuckles, sounding pretty pleased, and Barry is about to tell him to get going again when his right buttock is slapped harshly again, causing the pain to mingle with a delicious heat that settles into his loins.

“So impatient.” Eobard rubs the abused muscle lightly and grabs Barry’s hip again, holding him in a firm grip. “You’re lucky, I’m in a giving mood tonight.”

Barry nearly snorts, equally amused and annoyed by how full of himself the other man really is, but then Eobard starts to move, and the world around him zooms in to the feeling of arousal originating from between his legs.

The thrusts are slow at first, allowing him to get used to the thick member inside him, and it feels amazing, a very faint pain mingled with the delicious sensation that only the other speedster can give him.

“Yes.” Barry pants as he pushes himself back, trying to urge Eobard on to go faster as he had enough time to adjust and the only thing he wants now is him starting to move, to push into him in a rough and quick pace that causes him to nearly go crazy with desire and arousal. “Please move.”

The other man chuckles but also seems slightly out of breath, and Barry hisses in pleasure when his buttock gets slapped once more in reply, hard enough that it leaves a burning, tingling sensation behind.

“You want me to fuck you with my cock?” Eobard asks, a silly unnecessary question, sounding way too pleased with himself, but Barry doesn’t feel patient enough anymore to start a spat with him. Instead he whines and tries to push back onto the thick, hard member that is now only resting in him once again. The older speedster’s grip is firm, though, making it impossible for him to move his hip even just an inch.

“Say it,” Eobard orders him, and Barry groans in annoyance and discontent but gives him what he wants. “ _Yes_! I want your cock! For Pete’s sake, _fuck me with your damn cock_!”

Even now, Barry can feel his cheeks heat up, and he doesn’t need to look back to see the satisfied smirk on the other man’s face.

To Eobard’s credit, he starts to move nearly immediately, and Barry is left breathless when his prostate is assaulted in a quick, even pace. The cock inside him never misses its goal, causing him to nearly see sparks in front of his eyes every time it hits his sweet spot, and he starts to chant the other man’s name along with a litany of _yes_ , _please_ , and _oh god_ as he is driven closer and closer to his climax.

No matter Eobard’s fault, he is a ridiculous amazing lover. Where Barry needed at least half a dozen times to really get a feeling for the other man and how to please him, it took Eobard hardly more than one go to know how to touch him to drive him crazy.

Barry’s fingers are dug into the bedsheet, eyes squeezed shut, and he doesn’t care anymore that his moans are probably loud enough that his neighbors have to hear them. All his attention is on the feeling in his loins, the tight, hot, pulsing coil that makes his ear ring and his skin tingle, and he knows he is close even though his cock hasn’t been touched so far.

Then, Eobard suddenly pushes a hand underneath his upper body and pulls him up, so that Barry ends up more or less sitting in his lap, before he starts to thrust again. The new angle changes the sensation quite a bit, and Barry presses himself back against his partner, holding onto his neck with one hand, while he grabs one of his wrists with is other.

“You’re close,” Eobard states, his lips so close to Barry’s ear that he can feel them, which only intensifies the heat in his loins. He then kisses the side of Barry’s throat, just below his earlobe and taking it between his teeth, biting it lightly, playfully. When he briefly sucks on it, Barry tenses up and is momentarily overwhelmed by the flash of hot desire that shoots through him, making him feel like he is going to reach his climax any second now.

“You feel so good around me,” Eobard whispers, voice low, lips moving against his ear. “So _tight_.”

Barry lets his head drop back against his partner’s shoulder and moans loudly. It is a bit embarrassing how needy and wanton he sounds, but he can’t bring himself to care, not with the other man thrusting relentlessly into him. He squeezes his wrist tightly, certain that he is going to get crazy should this go on-

As if on cue, Eobard starts to vibrate and speed up, causing Barry’s eyes to roll back as he instinctively establishes his own connection to the speed force.

“You’re mine.” Eobard’s voice sounds slightly distorted, low and dangerous. “You’ve always been mine.”

A very small part of Barry, the one that is still able to think at least somewhat straight, wants to protest, but by now he made his peace with the fact that he really doesn’t mind his partner’s possessive streak. Eobard wants him, and while, at times, he looks at him like he is someone else, these incidents seem to become less regular. When he is actually seeing _him_ , there is clear desire in his eyes.

Desire and more…

“Yours,” Barry groans and moves his head to the side so that they can kiss. Eobard seems to expect this as he captures his lips immediately and, briefly, they slow down to allow their kiss to deepen.

When they pull apart, Eobard once again nips on Barry’s lips, causing him to shiver due to the spike in his arousal this causes.

They are both panting.

“I’m yours,” Barry says, out of breath. His head feels light and his body too tight and coiled up with heat. “And you’re mine.”

Something flashes across the other man’s eyes, and Barry is certain he made a mistake, went too far with the last part, which makes him angry with himself, because he should have known better. Eobard likes to possess but he doesn’t like to be possessed, by anyone…

To his surprise, Eobard doesn’t argue, though. Instead, he starts to move his hips again, causing Barry to moan in pleasure as the thrusts start anew.

The pace quickly picks up, and Barry’s worry about having angered the other speedster leaves his mind again as he is fucked in earnest once more.

“You want to come?” Eobard asks, moving his hand that rested on Barry’s hip so far up to his chest.

“Yeah.” Barry moans and moves his head so that his forehead is resting against the other man’s jaw. “ _Please_ , Eobard, make me come.”

It was the right thing to say, it seems, as his right nipple is suddenly pinched and slightly twisted, causing a delicious pain to shoot through him, while Eobard’s other hand takes hold of his erection and starts to pump it fast enough that his hand is nothing but a blur.

“ _Come_ ,” Eobard orders him, his voice harsh and low, and he sounds nearly breathless, just as Barry himself feels when his orgasm finally takes a hold of him.

The thrusting doesn’t stop as Barry trembles through his climax, crying out the other man’s name, and hardly able to keep one straight thought. It is like his head is pushed under water, like he can’t breathe while his body shivers through one wave of orgasmic bliss after another, and it feels like it takes forever before Eobard himself follows, and the assault on his prostate finally ceases.

They stay in this position for a long moment, Barry sitting in Eobard’s lap with his cock buried in him even as it grows soft.

The other speedster’s arms are around him, holding him, and Barry, who has suddenly difficulties to keep his eyes open now that the sated, tired feeling following any orgasm settled over him, lets himself groggily sink back against him.

“That was nice too,” Barry murmurs, smiling slightly, and lifts his head a bit so he can press a kiss on his partner’s jaw.

Eobard doesn’t replay but he is smirking, obviously amused and pleased by his words. When he speaks, he puts effort into sounding grouchy again, at least Barry thinks so. “You’re not going to fall asleep on me.”

“Mhm…” he agrees easily, eyes already falling closed, and he hardly notices it when Eobard maneuvers him to lay back down and retakes his former position next to him, or how he spreads the blanket over them.

Later, Barry won’t remember the drowsy ‘ _Love you_ ’ he mumbled just as he drifted off, and Eobard won’t remind him of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been over three months since my last update, and I'm really sorry for how long it took me to get this one out. My life is quite busy right now, and I didn't find any time to write it sooner. I hope you still enjoyed the chapter, and I'll try to be faster with the next one! ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!


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